Ciize closes the door behind her and takes cautious steps closer to Milk. She settles herself at the end of the bed, a few inches apart. Her mind pondering to the words she's about to tell. But in what way could she possibly tell her this. She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. This feels like cheating and she hated it. She hates thinking that she did when she has no way of doing so.
You can't cheat when she's not yours.
"I kissed her."
She starts and opens her eyes to meet Milk's eyes. Hurt and betrayal evident on her eyes.
"The night we went out with her. The night you got drunk, like very drunk and remembered nothing. You know, that night you puked on me and we had to take you home. Then, I took her home. And I kissed her."
Ciize feels her chest tightening as she continues to stare at Milk as the latter's eyes turn glossy with tears. She sighs before moving herself behind Milk, pulling the girl into a hug as she settles her legs and feet under Milk's thighs.
She presses and hides her face on the latter's neck, taking its scent of mixed perfume and sweat.
Milk crosses her arms as she runs her palm on Ciize's arm, gentle and soft against each other's skin as they protect each other from breaking. She nods.
"Yeah. I remembered nothing that night."
She slowly turns and holds the girl's face away from her to stare. She smiles as the cut runs deeper into her chest at every second spent after the confession.
"Nothing else but the way I pressed my lips against yours. How I took your breath as you took mine. I remember cheating with Love, drunk and wasted, as I kissed her best buddy. My best friend."
She shakes her head in disbelief.
"Milk."
Ciize's voice falters as her face turns into a frown and confusion.
"And you left with Earn. Left me on my bed with the warmth of your lips against mine and a heavy chest. You ran away."
She laughs as she starts to feel really stupid.
"And you're telling me that you kissed Earn after you drove her home? After I kissed you?"
Ciize almost feels an actual pair of hands wrapping around her neck, choking herself to death as she watches Milk break in front of her. She watches every tear running on her cheeks with a smile on her face, shaking her head as she tries to shake feeling stupid for kissing her.
She remembers.
Ciize's mind run through her memories, how Milk acted so lost the day after of that night. How she asked every one of any embarrassing story that she involved herself then. She remembers how convinced she was that Milk was truly wasted that night to even remember who drove her home since Love wasn't with them then.
She reach out to touch the latter's cheek. To wipe away the tears, the pain and the embarrassment she feels. Ciize just wants to make things better for her, for the both of them.
"Milk. I didn't know. I'm sorry. I am so sorry."
Milk takes Ciize's hand off her cheek, pressing it against her lips. Tears still running on her cheeks, a faint smile on her lips.
"Was I that bad of a kisser that you needed me off your lips minutes later?"
"No. It wasn't like that. It's just that... It was wrong, it was impulsive. You were drunk and I was just so in-love with you that I gave in and I got scared."
She watches Milk nod, her lips still pressed against her palm. She sniffles, her tears running out and so she wiped her cheeks. Clearing it from any evidence of pain and weakness.
"That was wrong, impulsive and a drunk act. This is wrong, but this time it's a slow torturing process of giving in as we calculate every move we take. Drunk with tears and exhaustion to our pretensions. And I'd be cheating to my future wife hours before our wedding with her best friend. With mine. And yet, I would still kiss you till I run out of breath tonight. Would you?"
She looks at Ciize's confused stares then looks at her lips.
Ciize watches as the girl in front of her moves closer to her, watches as the love of her life stare in anticipation on her lips. Taking every word she just heard as she runs her fingers on Milk's and settle on its lower back, pulling painfully closer to her.
With calculated steps, she presses her lips against the other. Taking a deep breath as she feels Milk's arms wrap around her neck, pulling her closer like it's even possible at this point. They drowned themselves against each other's kisses, lips and tongue crushing against each other, like their lives depended on it.
God. She never thought she could ever love Milk even more that she already did but the years she spent loving Milk was nothing compared to the seconds she's spending with her now.
She runs her fingers underneath Milk's shirt and hears her whimper against her. Pushing and pulling each other into the bed, sloppy kisses, messy emotions, both unsure of what's to come.
They are just two people giving into love. Regardless of how wrong they are. Regardless of who's going to get hurt.
They only have tonight .
Just tonight.
Ciize pull away, stares into Milk's blushing cheeks, dark orbs and heaving chest below her. The tingling sensation of the latter's fingers behind her neck.
"I love you."
Impulsive, uncalculated actions, full of consequences.
"You are a coward." Milk sighs.
"So am I. And I love you too."
She finishes as she pulls Ciize back towards her for another kiss, this time deeper as they get themselves lost in each other's touches and whimpers.
Consciously lost into their love for the very first time.
—-
AN:
Just a filler guys. Happy Saturday 🧡
