Just Friends

                                    

                                          
Saying I slept more than 6 hours over the course of the weekend, would definitely be an exaggeration. I'm still in my studio and I was up all night and Friday trying to paint my piece for the project but I just couldn't. I couldn't even get a sketch going. I have no inspiration or motivation. It's like knowing she isn't here is blocking out everything. That's never happened when I come here. She's become so important to me in such a short time. Fucking lesbians. Fuck off! 
I take a shower to wash the paint and depression off of me and when I get out I hear a knock on the door. Who is that? I put on a white tank top and my paint wide legged jeans. I open the door slightly to peek out. "Hey." Sarah says waving. I narrow my eyes at her and then peek my head and to search for someone else and then back at her. "Were you hoping I was someone else?" She asks. 
I shake my head. "No, I'm just confused. Why are you here?" I ask her. 
"Julian hasn't heard from you. I wanted to see you." She says plainly.
I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose. "Sarah we talked about this. We're not going to start hanging out just because of the other day. I though you understood that." I say frustrated.
"And I do understand Solace."
I shake my head. "Clearly you don't. Otherwise you wouldn't be here." 
She rolls her eyes. "Solace you forget, I know you." I roll my eyes. "And I know the reason you come here is when you need to get away from something or someone." She says and I look at her with a clenched jaw. 
"I can't talk to you Sasha. It wouldn't be right for me to talk about it with you." 
"Well you aren't talking to Julian. He didn't even know you were here Solace!" She yells at me. "And who knows where Micah is right now." I cringe at the mention of any of them. "Talk to me."
I shake my head. "I don't think I can."
"Why, because you love someone else?" I look at her with furrowed brows. "I don't care Solace. We're never going to happen again and I've accepted that. Right now, I'm here for you as an old friend. That's it." I sigh. 
"Come in." I open the door and she smiles and then walks in. 
"Oh wow." She takes in the studio. "It looks different."
"Yeah because usually whenever you came here, you would only be looking at me or the ceiling." I say with a smirk and she gasps. 
"Let's not talk about that right now. Right now, I want to talk about what's been going on." She says and sits on a stool. 
I sit in front of her. "I fell for someone." She nods. "But they're keeping something from me and I feel like it's something that would change my look on this person. And so I told them I'd wait until they were ready to tell me for us to move forward with our relationship."
She shrugs. "Makes sense."
I nod. "Right. But then this other person comes into their life and now after seeing them, the person I like no longer wants to see me." 
"Hm." She furrows her brows. "Is this other person, an ex?" I shrug. "Most likely if they just ghosted you."
"Yeah but this other person is dangerous. It's the reason why the person I like ghosted me. And I'm nervous that something will happen. I can't focus on anything so I came here trying to take my mind off. But," I shrug and sigh. 
"Hey." I look at her. "I'm sure she's fine. You can't fight yourself with unknown things, Solace. You'll lose every time." She says. 
"Yeah I know." I groan. And look up at the ceiling. "I don't even really know her, Sarah. Like, we literally met a month ago and yet I feel like I've known her for my entire life."