Chapter 7 James

                                    

                                          

I can hear my parents talking outside my door. I should be asleep but I couldn't bring myself to close my eyes, as tired as I was, I couldn't sleep. 
"He isn't in a good mental state," my mother said to my father "I know, I know but he has an exam he has to do, it's an important one and if he doesn't show up he will need to redo the semester." he insisted.
The exam... 
Right,
I have an exam
I haven't studied for it.
Screw the exam
Yes screw the exam
I want to sleep
"They won't let him pass it again and you know that baby," he said again
"We should help him get out of bed," my mother said "Can you get his vitamins maybe it will give him enough energy for these couple of hours, and his lithium " she continued twisting the handle "On it" he whispered leaving mom alone, she knocked on my door and opened it "honey," she said but I don't reply, she came closer and sat on my bed "you have an exam," she said again when she saw me turning my back towards her.
"I know," I replied, my pillow muffling my voice.
"I just want to sleep mom, I can't bring myself to stand up,"
I said, This is when I heard footsteps entering my room again, my father's.
"I got you those James, here Turn around son," my father said opening the plastic container of vitamins.
"Take one," my mother said 
I held the plastic bottle and shook it a little until a green pill dropped into my hand 
"When you are ready honey get dressed okay, We will call the school and inform them that you are not doing okay and that you might arrive late" my mother continued standing up.
I don't want to get up.
I see the world in dark colors, Grey, everything is its natural color but layered with some gray colors.
I fell back on the bed rubbing my face with the palms of my hands, after a failed attempt to sit up.
I stayed in bed, with no energy to get up.
I checked my phone. It was 9:30 and my exam started at 11:15. I still had time.
-
"James?" I heard someone knocking on my door.
"You okay in there Man?" Again that someone
"I am entering" It was Alex, he opened the door and stepped into my room fully dressed while I was still in my pajama pants with no shirt lying down on the bed.
"We will be late for the exam James," he said sitting down on my chair.
"It's still 9:30," I said in a low voice
"It's 10:45 James, so rise and shine" He spoke getting closer. 
"I can't go out like that," I said cuddling with my pillow trying to find a comfortable position.
"You are right you need a shirt, and maybe some pants, so get up! I ain't Letting' you stay depressed forever will I?" He said taking the bed covers off of me and taking my pillow from under my head.
"Alex!" I yelled sitting down on the mattress.
"My head, fuck" I hissed, I sat up too fast.
"GET THE FUCK UP, I would rather deal with a Manic James than a depressed James," he said pissed, opening my dressing room and taking a black hoodie out.
"Go on!" He said when I finally stood up.
-
She is here.
Her pencil is moving fast in between her fingers.
Is she stressed?
She is obviously.
She is sitting in front of me, a single table separating us.
Her hair was tied up into a ponytail leaving some hair falling down her neck, I couldn't see her face but I bet some of her hair was falling into her face too.
"You can start your exams now, Good luck," the teacher said, Everyone turned in their papers and started reading.
Celestia shares our Chemistry exam even if she is a junior and we are seniors since she takes superior classes 
I started writing looking now and then toward Celestia, She was fidgeting with her pencil while thinking, writing slowly, and moving her legs In an up-and-down motion.
She is stressed.
I am so glad I don't have to talk with anyone now I feel like shit.
Half an hour later she stood up from her seat, opening the window and looking outside.
Is she okay?
I could see her taking deep breaths by the way her body was heavily moving.
I wrote some more down on my paper, trying to get her off my head.
I need to finish so I can go back home.
I can't focus, I might fail anyway.
I should probably drop out. I am no good at school anyway.
I stood up and opened my window looking at her red face from the window.
Are you okay? I wanted to ask but didn't.
"What are you doing?" I asked her, giving her a little smile that was mostly fake.
I don't feel like smiling, nor do I feel like doing anything.
She looked at me for a little bit before she sat back down not saying a word to me, but I could see that she was crying.
She was indeed crying.
I treated her like shit when we were younger, I do regret it, but I still can't bring myself to apologize, it's not like I am doing that much effort.
-
"Time is up, drop your pencils and stay seated," the teacher said, taking Celestia's paper first then mine.
She left in a heartbeat.
I waited for Alex before I headed out so we could leave together.
Sofia went out close behind us trying to find Celestia I think.
She had an English literature exam, in the same class we were in.
-
"Oh, how was your exam son?" My father asked me while washing the dishes while my mom prepared the food.
"It was fine dad, can I go to bed?" I asked them " I am just super tired" I continued.
"Don't you wanna eat honey?" My mother asked me, worry filling her face.
"Maybe later," I said, leaving my keys on the counter and heading up.
When I finally arrived in my room I dropped my bag on the floor, practically throwing myself on my bed.
If I wasn't that lucky it could have broken but anyway.
I feel empty.
I feel hopeless.
I lay down on the bed staring at the roof for what felt like hours.
Doing nothing.
My mother and father came to check on me a couple of times, but I wouldn't move.
"I am worried, Christophe," my mother said.
I can hear her
I am not deaf
" I am too but it's not the first time this has happened, you know he is going to be fine" my father told her reassuring her.
"Right," she said when they closed the door again.
A couple of minutes later I fell asleep again.
Not dreaming.
Nothing.