Childhood best friends. Both too scared to admit their true feelings.
Fighting each other or fighting for each other in the end will it be worth the risk or will everything crash and fall around them?
I didn't know Kelly was coming to the race that day, she never told me. She just rang me as I had just finished the end of FP3 to say she was here and needed a garage pass. I mean I was happy to see her, I just wish she had given me more warning. I had to run and ask Daniel to give one of his passes to Izzy because I couldn't have Kelly and Izzy in the same space with no one around. Kelly played that Izzy made her feel uncomfortable, like she didn't want her there but I know deep down she doesn't like the close friendship that we have. I mean I get it, if she had a man who she had grown up with and was very close with I'd feel jealous too but I'd respect their friendship. I was a coward, I never told Izzy what was happening I let a member of the Red Bull team do it for me. I knew she would be pissed off, pissed off because I never told her myself and that I let Kelly dictate what was happening. We always said if and when we met other people, we would always value our friendship and put that above everything else. I didn't do that this day and I did regret it but Kelly is my girlfriend and I've got to do what was best for her too.
I decided to let Izzy cool off and I would speak to her after qualifying had ended. I text her but she didn't even bother to open my messages. I did my interviews and head back to the hotel with Kelly. I was about to go knock on Izzy's door when Kelly pulled me back. "I haven't seen you properly all week, where are you going?" "I just need to go and have a word with Izzy about what happened today I'll be back in a minute." Kelly slammed her bag onto the table and began to raise her voice "I am so fed up of you running after her all the time, she's an attention seeker can you not see that, she's trying to split us up!" I have had enough of people telling me what to do this week honestly. "For fuck sake Kelly, what the fuck do you want me to do? You told me not to let her in the garage and I didn't, I want to go and talk things through with her and then I'll be back. I will be gone for two minutes, for fuck sake." I didn't give her chance to answer I just left the room and head straight for Izzy's room. As I get closer I can see one of the cleaners coming out "Oh she checked out about an hour ago sweetie, I'm just cleaning the room." Fucking beautiful. Why does she run away every time something happens? She never talks it out first, she just runs. She has always been the same. I try and call her but she doesn't answer. I'm sick of this, it's pathetic. I send her a shitty message that I will probably regret later but I don't care. I go back into the room too see Kelly sat at the table, I wrap my arms around her and kiss her head "I'm sorry schatje, I didn't mean to argue with you it's just been a tough week, I'm glad you came today." She smiles and pulls me in closer "I know that's why I'm here for you, like always." I do love Kelly and I've grown to be really fond of P, I just wish Izzy and Kelly got along but I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon.
I need to know where Izzy is though otherwise I won't be able to sleep tonight. She has been my rock all my life, the person who has pulled me out from the darkest times of my life, I don't think I could ever be without her but we are both as stubborn as each other. I send Daniel a message because for some reason he seems closer to Izzy than I do at the minute.
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The race went smoothly and I finished in P1, the team did an amazing job of pulling it all together. I can't wait to get back home now and relax for a week before the next race in Austria. I received a message from Izzy earlier in the morning but I didn't reply, to be honest I can't be doing with the drama of it. I'm not dealing with it over text. If she wants to talk to me she can talk to me in person. Kelly has been overly nice since last night, I don't know if she's just happy that Izzy isn't around anymore or happy that we can finally go home. I know she doesn't really enjoy coming to the races. We get home and I'm greeted by Sassy prowling around the living room, I grab a shower and get ready to go on the sim. I have a quick phone call with my Dad who just rants down the phone about how lucky I was this weekend and I can't let it happen again. I mean I won the fucking race, how is that not an achievement? My mood just gets even better when I open instagram to find Izzy posting that she'd been in the gym and done a Pilates class all in the same day. I send her a message congratulating her on what a stupid fucking idea that was. Was nearly dying not a big enough warning for her? I'm sure she's done it to piss me off and she won. I need to relax and forget about everyone for at least 24 hours. I switch on the sim and go online. Luke starts to talk about football and how PSV play arsenal next week. "Ha yeah you'll get a spanking mate!" Luke blows me a kiss and says "ooo what about the football mate?" I laugh and tell him he can have it both ways if he wants. I love sim racing, it helps me to forget about everything else that's going on in my life.
I don't know if I will speak to Izzy or not, we have Lio's birthday party in a couple of weeks anyway but it does depend on whether she does anything else to deliberately piss me off. Either way she's not getting rid of me that easily and I'll be damned if I let her and Daniel form any kind of relationship. Fuck that.
