[48]

                                    

                                          
Calmia looked down at her husband's features, which were tense even in his sleep. Her hand gently rested on his forehead, right where it had been, as she was stroking his head until he fell asleep.
For the past few days, he had been unable to rest, and even then, the only reason he gave in was an antidepressant and a sedative administered to him by Alfred. It was worrisome, to say the least, and she didn't know what to do to make him feel better.
Timothy was coming home in the morning, and she felt that perhaps seeing him back at Wayne Manor would put Bruce at ease. But deep down, that lingering dread remained, and more questions stirred in her mind.
What if they got into an argument again? What if Timothy refused to return at the last moment? What if things only became much worse from that point forward?
All those questions made her head hurt, and she knew it wasn't good for her or the baby.
She hadn't taken much care of herself in the past few days. She couldn't go to her office regularly either and could only correspond with her team through emails. She felt terrible but didn't say it out loud as she could see the whole family was already in a crisis.
She had suggested that Bruce accompany her for a therapy session, but neither of them got the time to do so. By then, she didn't even know whether therapy was a good idea for him. 
As Batman, he already had many secrets that could not be compromised, and any external interference would make things worse for them all.
Despite trying hard to convince herself that everything would be alright and that she needed to rest, she couldn't sleep even a wink. Her eyes were restless, and each time she lay down, she felt nauseous, making her sit up again.
Was it the right time to bring a new member to the family? Her thoughts deviated to that question, and she couldn't help but gently caress her stomach, feeling for the little life blossoming within.
It was too early for her to feel the child move around, but she sensed something growing inside her, a soul that had entwined with hers and was taking nourishment from her. Was it really the right time for that soul to come into the world?
Earlier, she used to think their child would be so lucky, surrounded by a tightly-knit family who always had each other's backs, through thick or thin. But now that she was seeing the threads unravel right in front of her, she wasn't so sure of what fate lay ahead of them.
Everything was a mess, and even though she wanted to fix it, she didn't know where to start.
All of a sudden, it felt suffocating in that room, so she left the bed, cautiously heading to the door. No one else would be outside, perhaps except Alfred, she thought. They were all supposed to be on patrol. With Barbara and Tim both in Bludhaven, Alfred played the part of Oracle, so he, too, must be in the Batcave.
She stepped out of the room, closing the door carefully behind her as she didn't want the sound to wake Bruce. When she was sure that he was not disturbed, she decided to go to the living room or perhaps even the garden for some fresh air.
The corridors of Wayne Manor were always lit up to prevent any unwanted accidents. She held onto the rails, carefully descending the steps until she reached the living room. It was uncharacteristically silent, reminding her that she had never come there that late at night.
The clock struck half past two, and it was indeed quite late for her. Still, she walked over to the comfortable couch in the center, sat down, and rested her head back.
It felt less cramped than her bedroom, and as she opened one of the power windows of the room through the remote, a fresh gust of air blew in, making her feel much better. She closed her eyes, letting herself fall into a thoughtless and dreamless void. 
Sleep was out of reach, but for that short time, she could clear her head of all those unpleasant and worrisome thoughts.
She didn't know how long she had been sitting on the couch like that until she felt a blanket carefully drape over her. Opening her eyes, she saw Cassandra. The reason she hadn't noticed her earlier was that the girl was always soundless.
Even her footsteps made no noise as she moved with the stealth of an assassin.
"Cassie, did you not go out on patrol?" She asked, seeing that Cass had stayed instead of returning to her room.
"No. I stay behind."
"Why?"
"I keep watch," she replied, taking a seat close to Calmia. "You not asleep yet?"
"I couldn't go to sleep, so I came here."
Cassandra's eyes swept over her as if trying to assess what was wrong. She was an excellent reader of body language and could pick up on things even if they were invisible to others. Right then, she was making sure that Calmia was physically okay.
She was stressed; that much was obvious, but other than that, she seemed fine.
"You want to drink something?" Cass asked, "Warm milk with honey? Hot chocolate? You need something warm."
She thought about it, "Hot chocolate sounds tempting."
"You wait. I bring it right away."
She watched her disappear, probably going to the kitchen on the first floor. Shortly after, she returned with two steaming mugs of hot chocolate, which she carefully placed on the table in front of Calmia.
Cassandra didn't speak much, but she always seemed to know exactly what the other person needed at any given moment. Right then, she had assessed that Calmia needed company and probably a warm beverage, so she quickly whipped up some hot chocolate and stayed with her despite it being very late at night.
Calmia let the drink cool off a bit before she took a sip, letting the rich flavor dissolve in her mouth. It was truly delicious, and she hadn't realized that she had been craving something like that hot chocolate for so long.
"Thank you so much, Cassandra. This is exactly what I needed right now," she remarked, offering her an appreciative smile.
Cass smiled back, drawing her knees up on the couch as she turned to face her. "You worried about something. You can talk. I listen."
Her heart melted to see the compassion being offered to her. Cassandra was probably the one person in the family she hadn't gotten to communicate with much, but it was clear that she cared for her and wanted her to know it.
Earlier, whenever she wanted to talk about anything, she sought Tim out because he was a good listener and problem solver. After Tim left, she hadn't gotten to talk to anybody openly about her feelings.
And her feelings had been quite a mess, a confused web due to her hormones and the uninvited tension that gripped them.
But as Cassandra was there and offered to listen, she felt a bit of the weight release from her heart. Perhaps not all was lost, and she was only overthinking about that family.
Perhaps they could still make things work and become that tightly-knit group again. She had to make sure of that.
***