let's get along then, i guess.

                                    

                                          
'tom, what are you doing here?' i step out the door, but still have my hand on the edge of it.

'i just was wondering, have you finished the work?' he asks, making me confused.
i furrow my eyebrows in confusion, 'finished the work? since when did you care about your work?'
he steps closer to the door, or well, towards me. 'i might seem like i don't care about work, but i actually do. i actually care for having a good score.'
i squint at him, trying to detect if he's telling the truth or not. 'hm.' i buy it, 'explains why you haven't been kicked out yet, huh?'
i was telling the genuine truth. if he did get the scores everyone thought he did - he'd be kicked out of the school.
people don't pay attention to tom's genuine personality, they pay more attention to how he looks, his whole 'playboy' persona and the list of girls he has on his left and right.

'oh, whatever.' he snickers, pushing me on the shoulder a little bit. i would've retaliated, but this time i chuckled a bit.
i find myself suddenly pulling his hand, dragging him inside of my dorm, 'whatever you want, come in. i'm bored.'

he smiles, i smile along with him.

crap.

what am i doing?
this man right here?
he's hit me before, he's pushed me up against a tree and tried to bite my neck.
he's evil, why am i inviting him inside of my dorm?
why is this man so alluring...
gosh.

i wish i knew.

he drops on the couch, causing me to raise my eyebrows and cross my arms. 'making yourself at home, i see?'
'your dorm actually, you invited me in.'
i push him by the shoulder just like he did with me, 'oh, shut up. show me the work you've done.'
'in a bit,' he sighs, 'what were you saying?'
i sit down beside him in a classy manner, 'what do you mean what was i saying?'
'when i was going to come through the door, you were saying something about gustav and apologizing.' he put his elbows on his knees, man spreading.
'oh.' i immediately feel nervous. i know it's the right thing to tell tom, but should i really?

what if tom doesn't believe me?
what if he tells gustav, bill and georg that i'm a liar?
i don't want to have a bad reputation.

'uhm...' i hiss, rubbing my neck.

fuck it.
i'll be a good person for once.
i turn my body to his direction, 'well - i saw something i don't think i should've seen.'
'like what?' he questions.
i sigh, rubbing my elbows up and down, 'i saw...' before i can continue - i just .. don't feel ready enough to tell tom anything... i feel bad - but then again, it's my feelings, 'i'll tell you when i'm ready, okay?' i tilt my head, trying to get his reassurance.
he looks confused, or even dumbfounded. maybe even a little annoyed since i just left him on a cliffhanger, but i can tell he's brushing it off right now.
'yeah, okay.' he rubs his hands together, his response made me smile in relief - i can save all the sad sappy shit for later.
~

honestly now i can't hold it in anymore, i just want to tell him so bad.
i don't really know if he loved eva or not and none of that is my business, but to have her cheat on him isn't okay.
that slut.
and for gustav to just brush things off so quick with nothing to explain?
gosh, i hate both of them so badly right now.
i just need a break from life, honestly.

'so since you did most of the work, and i did a lot - i think we could put it together.' i say, pointing at his work knowing damn well what's going through my head.
'yeah, that'd make sense.' he says, pointing at his work and then my work. then he just stares at me for a brief amount of seconds, looking like he's inspecting me piece by piece.
'uhm...' i stutter out, 'why are you looking at me like that, is there something you want to say?'
'is there something YOU want to say?' he immediately replies back, 'it seems like you've got something on your mind, can't you just tell me?'
i put my lips together, rubbing my cheek. i want to tell him but something in me stops myself from doing so - probably all my combined anger and rage i have for this man.

'look tom, if i tell you this you have to believe me, okay?' i lean my head in a bit, making sure he can hear me whisper.
he nods slowly, 'yeah, okay then.'
i sigh - i'll just say it all at once...

'look, i know you love eva, and you're dating her at the moment - but today i saw gustav and eva together.' i gulp, making sure he's listening. then, i continue.
'i was going to gustav's dorm since he told me he wanted to tell me something, but i don't know exactly what it is. then, i heard his voice and her's, saying they didn't want to tell me something .. then i heard them starting to kiss.'
tom's smile - well not really a smile, i don't know what it was but something about his face conveyed his sudden shock.
'then, when eva mentioned me - he stopped and i heard his zipper zip up. he ran out the door and saw me, then we started arguing.' my voice crackles a bit.
he puts his lips together but then speaks, 'and then what?'
'and now me and him are over, but i knew it was eva since she came out after. she also made out with my ex on my birthday, that slut.' i mumble the insult under my breath.

i look down for a moment - but when i look up, tom has his head down as if he's reminiscing what i just said. i feel so bad, i want to hug him but that'd be really awkward for the both of us.
i put my hand on his shoulder in a comforting way, 'gustav said he was going to tell you.. but..'
he interrupts me, 'that doesn't make it any better - she was my girlfriend, and he was one of my best friends...' his breathing deepens but it also quickens, and he starts to blink even faster than before.
my subconsciousness takes over and i immediately raise his chin, 'tom, it's going to be fine, okay? i know how you feel, i loved gustav and i used to love eva as well. it felt so weird seeing them together.'
i can feel his shoulders start to raise up and down less, and he catches the rate of his breath pretty well. 
i smile, 'feeling better? i can make you water if you want.'

he smiles back at me, making me a bit surprised.
i never thought me and him would be in a moment like this, where i was comforting him.
where we both had the same problems.

i then go and get up to get a cup of water, but he then lowly chuckles, 'water won't help, but sure.'
i pour the water in the cup regardless, 'oh, why's that?'
'i'm a full vampire, i don't need water.'
'are you sure?' i question him, bringing the water, 'i don't know - you seem pretty human to me, and plus water's refreshing, just have some.' i go and sit back down, pushing the cup in his hand.
he rolls his eyes with a smile, 'fine whatever.' his response makes me giggle, it's kind of funny how quiet the room is and then there's just the sound of him sipping up the water.

~
'so, why'd you invite me in again?' he asks, laying on the couch watching television, it's 1 am right now and we both aren't that tired.
'invited you in, what are you on about?' i sit lay down in the opposite direction of him, still looking at the television.
'i just wanted to know if you got your work done, i don't know why you invited me in.' tom looks my direction, 'i didn't want to come in, but if you feel that comfortable with me then you can just tell me.' he teases me yet again with a sarcastic tone, 'then we can be best friends.'
'ew no, you're not even my friend.' i kick him softly since he's in the opposite direction of me, then i get up - reminding myself to wash the dishes.
 'you're anything below being my friend.' i mumble under my breath, not intending for him to hear as i walk off.

but boy, was i wrong.
it seems that he heard me though because he immediately responds, 'what did you say?'
'nothing!' i immediately say back, but i can't hide my smile.
'right...' he sounds like he's in 'defeat' - making me relieved.

until, i can hear him running up to me.
my eyes widen and i immediately put the dishes i'm washing down, yelping as i see him bolt towards me and i put my hands up in defense.
he picks me up, dropping me onto the couch.
'what did you say to me, huh?' he laughs, trapping me.
'tom! that hurts!' i can't help but laugh as well, trying to kick me off.
'then, tell me!' his hands aren't touching me, and neither are mine - but our bodies are really close together, and we don't even notice...
'you're a psycho! i said nothing!' i exclaim, we then roll over causing each other to yelp - next thing you know ...

i'm on top of him.

ON TOP OF THIS MAN.

my back is arched, i'm wearing a tanktop with shorts and my hair falls in front of my face. i push it back, me and him still laughing.
until we realize the current position we're in.

SHIIIIITTTT.

'oh my goodness.' my eyes widen, i want to get off but i feel trapped. i don't know why or how, it's ME that's on top of him.
'holy shit.' that's all he manages to say, we both look embarrassed but we also can tell that we're both taking in this very moment right now.

i can't help but just examine him from above, gosh what have i gotten myself into? again - i feel trapped right now, and i don't know why.
i just can't get off of him.

or do i just not want to .. ?

we look at each other, we both know we could get up from each other or push each other off - but we just can't.
are we connected?
no, no we aren't.

then i take the 'mature' approach, and get up.
'sorry.' i mumble and gulp.
he immediately reassures me, 'oh please - don't be sorry! i was the one that caused us to roll down on the floor.'
i chuckle, 'well you're a dumbass.'
'i know you are, but what am i?' he laughs, making me push him.

he is a dumbass.

~

'look, we have school tomorrow, you need to go.' he's outside my door, and i lean against my doorframe, yawning.
'well, i'm not tired - and you're the only one that's awake.' he complains.
'then go to bed.' i roll my eyes.
'i'm a vampire, i don't need to go to bed.' he retaliates, trying to trick me.
'then go call your other friends, get THEM to get up since they're vampires.' i look at him with a displeased yet amused smirk.
he mumbles, 'crap.' making me laugh.

'alright, shoo.' i push him away, looking at him smirk. i smirk back before shutting the door.
i internally start screaming as i shut the door and lock it, i fall onto my couch.

what's wrong with me?
why was today so unusual?

how did i invite a guy in my dorm knowing very well that that's the guy that tried to bite me.
how did i find out that the guy i trusted most was making out with my best friend?
how was i meant to know that me and my friend would get in a car crash?
how was i the one to be at the school nurse for a head injury but eliana was the one in the hospital with a mere hand injury?

i rub the bandage on my head as i think about my injury, all this thinking is making my head hurt.

how do i even feel right now, happy, sad, mad?
i guess i'll just have to wait and see.