CHAPTER TWELVE
It was a bloodbath. I've never seen so much red. All of us sat at the front of the house, looking identical to one another in our graduation caps and gowns.
There was a man on stage, standing at the podium, talking about paving the road to the future. But I couldn't think about what was ahead when the past wouldn't let me go.
My ribs were starting to get sore from carrying the weight of her words; it was just a matter of time before they cracked completely.
It had been weeks. But I was still there, sitting at that desk like I had never left, my mind replaying our conversation over and over again.
The hurt cut deeper than anger; it was betrayal. I could feel it making a home in my wounds, keeping them constantly exposed.
I wasn't living anymore. Just existing. Moving through the motions. A body without a soul.
"Who even is this guy?" Aiden whispered.
Nathan did end up saving seats for the boys. In the same row as me and Avery. "I don't know. Some alumni. I think he's an attorney or something now."
Everyone in the theater was silent. Except for the two of them, who thought nothing of their hushed conversation happening on the other side of Avery.
"I'm coming back in twenty years to give a graduation speech. When I'm successful and I've got it all figured out," Aiden said, "but I'm not gonna do all this. I'm gonna keep it simple."
"Something like—Listen, it's rough. But you got it."
Nathan laughed. "That's good. I like that."
"And I'm gonna be a household name too. So everyone's gonna be like, What! There's no way! How'd they get him?"
I bit the inside of my cheek. Aiden didn't even have to try. His arsenal of wit could keep peace across the nation.
Avery didn't find him as funny. She kept her knees facing me. The expression on her face stuck in a constant state of disgust.
Then Jackson chimed in, "They should've made you valedictorian."
"I know. They're just scared of my potential, that's the only reason they didn't."
There were a few others who took the stage after our guest speaker for the evening. None of them were nearly as entertaining as Aiden. But they all gravitated toward a similar message.
Be brave. Work hard. You are the future. And all of that was great to hear, but I didn't feel any more prepared to take on the world than I did before.
Things were changing. Faster than I could keep up with. What if I miss the person I am right now? Because who knows how much longer I get to be her for?
I looked over at Avery beside me and wondered if it was inevitable. Maybe everything will expire eventually.
Over the last few weeks, I've tried to convince myself that it doesn't matter anymore, that if Julian was above the terms and conditions of our arrangement, then so was I.
I could always feel myself reaching for the words. Avery deserved the truth. But the truth never came out.
Maybe I wasn't ready for it to be over. Maybe I was savoring a part of us that didn't exist anymore.
After the speeches ended, the time for tonight's entertainment finally came.
Don't get me wrong, getting out was the light at the end of the world's longest tunnel. But I guess when imagining this part of my life, I always figured I would feel different.
And now I was about to have the freedom I've always wanted, but I had no idea what to do with it.
Row by row, people I've—involuntarily—shared a decade of my life with were now headed for the stage, like cattle off to the slaughter.
The audience roared with applause all around us. Like the gladiators, victory was the ultimate goal. But our competitor had the upper hand.
Could anyone successfully conquer the unknown?
"You're gonna clap for me, right?" Avery turned to me. Half the rows were now empty. Our turn was quickly approaching.
I nodded, my eyes glued to the stage. The air didn't hint at rain. But water started drizzling from the sky. It was the good kind of rain—the kind that you didn't feel the need to run away from.
The amphitheater kept us dry. Rain surrounded us. I could smell it dampening the concrete.
And before I knew it, Jackson was striding beneath the golden spotlights. Followed by Aiden. Then Nathan.
I wish I could've done my walk with Avery. But unfortunately, that wasn't how it worked. Her red hair looked the way stained glass did when it found the sun.
She made it look easy; I could only hope I looked as effortless as her. My foot hit the steps. My heel somehow sounded beneath the frenzy of the crowd.
The last eighteen years of my life were over, slate wiped clean. The rest was up to me.
If I hadn't already known the hour was late, the warmth from the spotlights would've been able to convince me that it was early afternoon.
For the first time in weeks, my lungs could breathe.
Thunder cracked. Lightning struck. Like the world was sharing in my heartache. Reassuring me that they had witnessed the injustice I suffered."Congratulations." I barely heard the man with salt and pepper hair say. He shook my hand. I had no clue who he was.
I moved down the line and shook more hands, each of them strangers who congratulated me on my success.
"Thank you," I said to the final man, who wore a suit that looked way too expensive for the middle of nowhere.
He handed me the red diploma cover, and I turned for one last glance at the audience. Everyone was standing, clapping, rain pouring down behind them. It was a view I would carry with me for the rest of my life.
We were instructed to gather at the theater's balcony at the end of our walk. That way, the crowd could embrace us for as long as possible.
I found Avery a few rows down, sitting with all three of the boys. Everyone was buzzing with excitement.
Kids started pulling their caps off and throwing them into the air. This is what I imagined people meant when they said they felt like they were on top of the world.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you this year's graduating class!" A voice boomed into the microphone.
Julian might have left me shattered. Wandering the last few weeks in a soulless purgatory. But at this moment, I had never felt more alive.
Eighteen © Wordstothewise ™ 2024
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