Chapter 17

                                    

                                          
~Maya~
"Fuck this shit," I grumble before I take another shot. The cold liquid burning the back of my throat as the travels down my food pipe. Tears sting the corner of my eyes and for the seventh time during the entire day tears flow down my face. 
I wipe them of with the back of my hand, and fill myself another shot of tequila shot. I sniffle as I let the drink work its magic. I've officially let myself pathetically rot today, the only time that I would be this low. I am sporting some black sweatpants and shirt that molds to my upper half. My blonde hair is tied in a messy bun that has been in this position for two days now. I haven't even done my skincare, or brushed my teeth or anything. I have been sitting, eating and sleeping in the same position. I am crouching in front of my table with my legs close to my chest, my head thrown back on the couch. My phone dings with a notification and I watch as Mia sends me a myriad of texts.
Mia: Come on Maya, let's talk.
This message came two days before, when I left acting but hurt after learning about her whole ordeal with Landon King. 
After I dragged her out of the party, Mia confessed everything about what happened at the party and about her little (not at all little) rendezvous with Landon. I was shocked that she hid such an important thing from me, because Mia has never hidden anything from me. I thought we were best friends who always shared things with each other but then watching her hide something so important, it give me an insight how things would be when Mia finally learns the truth about our past.  
She would no longer need me to share things with, she would have other people, namely Landon King, who has offered a truce between the Heathens and the Elites just to court my sister Mia. Something about me makes me feel bitter not because Mia might find someone to share her pain with in the future, because if someone as evil as Landon can manage to court someone as angelic as my sister, then why can't I accept Ilya's offer and go out with him?  
I am pretty sure I am not as evil as Landon is, a person who considers his siblings as his possessions and not actual human being. That psychopath is no different than Killian, if not worse to be honest. If Killian can find love, so can I. But the thing is I am not like them, I ruined my twin's life, and I cannot laugh freely, sing happily pretending as if I didn't.  
I cannot pretend that the reason my family will be scared after finding out the truth is not me, I can't pretend as if I am not a villain. Because I am.  
Mia: Come on Maya, don't ignore me like they are. I need you.  
This message came the exact same day, after a few hours when I didn't reply to the message and continued to drink the shots after shots. It got so bad that I had to vomit my guts out till nothing came, then continue to rot in bed for hours as I slept. Then after waking up, I continued to drink, but this time changed the poison of my choice from vodka to tequila.  
Mia: I miss you, Maya. Please answer the phone.  
This message came after I ignored her hundred—no exaggeration here—literal hundred miss called while I was sleeping peacefully after vomiting my guts out once again.  
I'll be honest, reading that she missed me made me feel so much better that I cried again but they were tears of happiness. The reason she didn't came to see me is because I am not in our apartment, and neither am I in the mansion. Right now, I am living in the studio apartment, I brought for myself after my panic attacks started to become more often, and I was afraid Mia would find out about them.  
Mia: I know I should've told you about it, I am sorry, please? 
After that I called her and told her that I was fine, I was just feeling a little low, and because my voice was raspy, she believed it. I told her I had flu, and would be fine in one or two days and am right now as we speak partying at one of my fake friends' places. I also told her that I forgive her for the who Landon drama, even when I wasn't mad at the first place.