I ran.
I ran and I ran and I ran until my feet buckled under the pressure.
I lay on the ground for hours, feeling nothing but the cold numbness from the snow melt into my bones. The ache in my throat had now extended its claws to my stomach, growing big like an oak tree. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe.
'There's only so much I can take,' is what I thought when I first fought that night with Maeve.
'There's only so much I can take,' is what I thought when Natasha and Ryder stripped me off of my dignity before the world.
'There's only so much I can take,' is what I thought when Damian did what he shouldn't have done.
'There can't be anything worse than this, right?' is what I thought when my two best friends twisted the knife for the final time.
I was being rhetorical but somehow, the Universe seemed to be convinced I wasn't. Everytime I believed that it couldn't get any worse, the Universe took it up as a challenge to prove me wrong.
That it indeed could get worse.
And as I closed my eyes for the final time, all I hoped was for eternal salvation.
___________
Unfortunately, when I woke up, I was still I.
And this wasn't a nightmare.
It was reality.
The beeping of the alarm beside my bed made the ache in my throat grow ten fold. What was happening? Where was I?
"Oh good, you're awake."
I heard an unenthusiastic voice echo beside me and I turned my head instinctively and found my mother with a solemn expression.
"Mom, what happened?"
"You fell unconscious in front of the gates is what happened." She said, pouring a glass of water. I extended my hand over to grab it from her but she gulped down its contents in one go.
Slowly retracting my hand, I stared at my palms as she continued, "Your dad found you in that state while returning from work and got so worried. He suggested we go to the doctor to check for hypothermia but I said no."
"Why?" I asked, hurt evident in my voice.
"Why?" She glared at me. "Your sister's tennis match is today. We can't afford to spend the day in the hospital."
Ofcourse, it was Maeve's big day. How could I possibly ruin it with my existence?
"I've prepared food. It's in the kitchen. Just reheat it and don't forget to take the medicine for fever in case you feel hot." She suggested, getting up from the chair but I grabbed her coat from behind. My eyes welled up. I needed her in the moment. I needed my mother to comfort me and tell me that it was all going to be okay and that I wasn't wrong.
But all she said was, "Just don't be a nuisance to the housekeeper. She'll come at 11. Stay under the duvet. It's nothing serious, you'll be fine."
And without a kiss goodbye, she retraced her steps out of the room, slaming the door behind her, leaving the nuisance all by herself.
_______________
As I poured myself a cup of lukewarm water and gulped down the content in one go, I felt a strange sensation cross me.
