I

                                    

                                          

Apo's Pov.
How many years since I became like this? How long has it been since I fall in love. How long will it take for me to realise that I'm just a bed warmer and not his lover? He'll be able to look at me differently or he will turn around and walk away?
"Wait, Mile where are you going?" I ask him cause as soon as we finish releasing our heat he stands up and put back his clothes. 
"Oh we have a band practice today for the concert next week." He said. 
Mile Phakphum Romsaithong he is a actor, singer and a ceo he is also mu best friend since elementary and because we are neighbours. Mile is two years older than me and he is my senior too. We work in the same network but he I focuse on acting meanwhile him while being an actor he also build a music label and pursue his love on music. 
"Aren't you going back to eat dinner?" I ask but he just ignore my question and wave me goodbye. 
"All the time." I sigh and decided to get up to take a shower. 
By the way I'm Apo Nattawin Wattanagitiphat. I'm an actor you might wonder why I don't call him Phi? 
Well its started three years ago. 
"P'Mile you are drunk P'Gift will get mad cause we have appointment tomorrow." We're at the bar right now after celebration of finishing the series. Both me and P'Mile our the lead actors it was a BL mafia series and there the tension between starts.
"No, Po I can handle my alcohol you know." He confidently say but the next second I knew he was asleep. 
"Huh you really did know how to handle your liquor." I said as I face palm myself. 
I slowly help him up and put his hands around my shoulder we have the same direction so I present myself to drive him off my co workers also know about that and I really don't drink so I prefer going home and keep myself entertain while watching my favorite series.
When I arrive at his house I help him walk up the stairs and lay him down. I was about to go home when he suddenly held my hand and pull me down so I'm now on top of him. 
"Don't go yet please, I don't want to be alone." he said. He looks like a dog begging for his owners attention. 
I stayed there for a while cause I don't want to disturb him anymore. 
"You look so much handsome when you are asleep P'Mile." I said as I stroke his hair
"Your future partner will be very happy and lucky to have you as there boyfriend or husband, but you know what I was really jealous of your future partner cause all this time I want you to want and love me like how I love and want you." Why can't it be me? 
I thought we was awake and It sacred me that he did hear what I just said but to my relief he was just adjusting himself. Then he started to talk to his sleep. 
As his lips moves my eyes keeps on following them and without thinking I slowly close our face gaps then kiss his lips the lips that I been wanting to be mine but it will never be. 
I might have kiss him a several times in filming and workshop but this kiss won't count as fake as those cause here am I kissing his lipa genuinely and passionately. 
I was about to stop but I felt his lips moves and there our first night starts.
"Ah-Hm Ah f*ck you are so tight!" he said as he push through me.
"Ah Mile, please ah ah slow down." I beg cause it was our first time.
But he didn't listen. Slowly he push in and out. The pain was unbearable at first but little by little the pain became pleasure ever kiss and every trust he does brings me to heaven.
But as soon as he finish I heard the most painful thing I don't really wanna hear from him.
"I love you---" He said another person's name, not me and it will never be me. 
After that incident I left him early in the morning my body aches like crazy but I want it. I step inside a cage without an exit. 
After that night the lust grew together with my love for him. It was unpleasant cause all he care about is to release himself when he was with me unlike before. We eat, drink and even shop together freely but now all he care about is his image and his lust. 
I don't want it to be honest but my heart keeps on saying I should continue and wait until he feels the same way as me but my brain always say the opposite, it wants me to quit and try loving somebody else that can also love me the way I do. 
~Back to the present~
As I was taking a bath my phone suddenly rang. I quickly put on a towel to check who is calling only to find out it was our manager. 
"Hello P'Gift." I greet her. 
"Hello Po. I was just going to remind you about Mile's Birthday event next week. Didn't you say you are going to surprise him?" I decides to surprise him this time but maybe it's much better to keep it the way it is. 
"Ah Phi I think, I won't do it again thi time. It's better to keep things as they are." I said. 
"But Po everything is settled now." P'Gift said but my decision is finale. 
"Proceed on doing it Phi. Why don't you ask Linn instead isn't she the new on screen of P'Mile at his new series?" After our first series a producer gave Mile a new opportunity but the story is not BL so they partner him to Linn at first I thought he was going to decline the offer cause we are also set to have a new series but he agreed and I think our series won't start at all. 
He seems to enjoy Linn's company more than we are together. Seeing them on screen during the interview I can see how different it is when it was me. 
Many fans say the we look cute and he adore me so much cause he keeps on looking at me when I'm talking but I know those stares are not meant to be sweet cause I can see that his eyes are full of lust. 
"Apo you're the one who did the event right and why are you bringing that b*t*h here?" P'Gift actually knows about all the things happening to me and Mile but Mile didn't know that. 
The event was actually planned by me and I let P'Gift contact his fans to join the event but no one knows it was me even Mile. 
"Oh come on Phi you know why." I said and laugh dry. 
"No I won't invite her. Instead I will just brought him the cake to blow. I'll be your representative Apo." she was really sweet. 
*******
Hello readers!!! I hope you enjoy this story just like how you enjoy the other stories. 💚💛

PS. This story will start after Red string of Love is done hehe. I hope you enjoy it love you all so much. 🤟❤️