Chapter 7 - Grief

                                    

                                          
POV: Vander
              I sighed, leaned back in my chair, and rubbed my hands over my face.
              Talking about Shan drained me of my physical and emotional energy. It had only been a month since her passing, and my heart still constricted painfully every time I thought of her.
              It was painful to see the qualities Shan had in Dina even more.
              Dina was very much like her mother.
              Kind.
              Compassionate.
              Loving.
              But also...
              Fierce.
              Vicious. 
              Wild.
              Dina had two sides to her that complemented one another and as she grew older, they only complimented each other more. Now she was going to have access to her magic and the beast that lay withing her soul which would make her even more formidable. 
              I pity the fool that would choose to go against my Dina.
              I chuckled at that thought.
              I wanted so badly to see what Dina could do and accomplish, but I have no idea if I'll last that long. The people of the Lanes are growing more discontented with each passing day. The massacre at the bridge only fueled others flames. 
              Sevika's especially...
              I know she will turn on me at some point down the line...
              It hurts my heart to think about one of my long-time friends doing something like that, but the hardened woman had only one driving force.
              And that was to make the Nation of Zaun.
              That was the only thing that mattered to Sevika.
              We might have had similar goals right now, but that could change in the future...
              "I'm getting too old for this shit." I said aloud.
              "Yeah? You and me both Vander You and me both." A voice said back to me.
              I blinked and found that Benzo had somehow come into the office without me hearing him.
              I smiled tiredly at him and waved him over to have a seat.
              "So? What did our deal old friend Sev have to say now? Same old bullshit?" Benzo asked as he sat down.
              My hands moved from my face to my temples because I could feel a headache coming on just thinking about Sevika and mines argument.
              "Yes, same old, same old." I replied.
              "Do you think she is... trustworthy anymore?" Benzo asked nervously.
              "Right now? Yes. In the future? I'm not sure." I answered, brows furrowing in thought.
              "You would think Sev would care for people she grew up with." Benzo spat. "We all want the same thing. I don't know why she wants the option where we have all out war. Didn't she see how that turned out a month ago? Sometimes I think our friend doesn't really care about her 'goal.' Sometimes I think the Lanes broke her and now she doesn't care about anything... I see that coldness in her eyes, and it makes me shiver. I don't want to think that Sev would do anything to us, but..." Benzo ranted, trailing off.
              "Some people have it better than others. Even in the Lanes." I replied.
              "Don't you think I know that?" Benzo replied. "I was there that night. I held her in my arms as we watched that house burn down." 
              I remember that day.
              Sevika running to his half clothed, cuts all along her body, face black and blue...
              I was so very angry when I saw the state of her.
              I knew who did it.
              So, Benzo and I paid the bastard a visit, but we were too late...
              We might've been too late for her mother, but we could finally end Sevika's torture.
              I stood there, gas in hand, and watched as their house went up in flames.
              I could hear the cretin screaming out, but the three of us watched on...
              "It was the best thing we ever did for Sevika, but she changed that day. She was also one of the toughest people I knew, but she grew... emotionless after that." I said, fists clenching and unclenching.
              "The hate she has for Piltover will get us all killed if she doesn't do it first." Benzo stated bitterly.
              "We can only wait and see old friend... We can only wait and see..." I said as I closed my eyes and thought about why I was still a figurehead in the Lanes.
              I needed to be a pillar of the Lanes long enough for my children to grow up and be independent. 
              Everything depended on them, and I hated it.
              Dina would be a good leader and fighter.
              Vi would be a good fighter and support.
              Claggor would rebuild the Lanes into something more.
              Mylo be a figurehead if he got his head out of his ass
              And Powder would fuel the Lanes innovation.
              All of my children could do great things, but that was only if I didn't allow Sevika to get the future she so desperately wanted. I knew I had a few years left, but I also knew she was gaining support and fast. She was turning to people who didn't care about the common people. She was looking for a figurehead who would champion her cause.
              I was still hoping Sevika could see reason and get the help she needed.
              Said help was not at the end of the bottle and it was not at the brothel she went to excessively.
              I could feel a tear slip down my face.
              I didn't know what to do.
              Everything was slipping through my fingers.
              I feared that I would lose everything I cared about.
              But I wouldn't go down without a fight.
              I may not use my gauntlets to solve every issue, but I would defend my family with them and reunite with Shan if that was what it took.
              What greater way to show you love someone than to lay down your life for them?
              I would do it in a heartbeat for the people of the Lanes.
              And I would do it without thinking for my children.
              "Van? You alright?" Benzo asked.
              I opened my eyes and wiped the stray tear that had fallen.
              "I'm not, but when did we ever have luxury to be?" I snarked.
              Benzo chuckled.
              "How right you are Van." Benzo replied. He turned to leave but stopped right at the door and turned around. "Ashanti would be proud of you Vander. I know she's cheering you on." He added then walked through my office door.
              "Thank you... Thank you..." I whispered as more tears started to spill over in greater number.
              Here in my office, I grieved Ashanti for the first time.