Please Forgive Me

                                    

                                          
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"Don't Come Over I'm Heading Out To
The Cemetery Anyways You Can See Me Around Lunch"I Said To Momma Beth Telling Her To Tell Andy I Was Okay I Hung Up The Phone Putting 
My Guitar Strap Around Me Getting 
Everything I Need Heading Out The Room Sitting On The Table 
"Morning Cupcake Did You Sleep
Well?"Emma Asked Me Placing
My Breakfast Down"Morning,I
Slept Fine"I Thanked Them For 
The Food Not Really Having 
Much Of A Appitatie I Took My Antianxiety And Antidepressants 
Out Taking Both Of Them To 
Help Me Get Through The Day.
"Would You Like To Go Anywhere 
Today?Arcades Or Movies?"Emma 
Asked Me Handing Me My Juice Box
"No I Have Plans But Thank You"I
Said And Ate Three Bites Of The 
Food"You Hanging Out With 
Friends?"Lucas Asked 
Every Year On This Day I Would 
Go To The Cemetery And Just Sit On The Grass For Long Hours Straight 
And Talk With Mom And Dad Even 
If It Snowed I Always Went That Is What I Always Did And That Hasn't 
Changed.
I Looked Up From My Plate Seeing 
That Look In His Eyes Like It Was 
Just Another Day"Yeah,Travis"I 
Looked Back Down At My Food 
Wondering If He's Playing Dumb
Or If He Doesn't Really Know What Day It Is"You Okay?"Emma Asked 
When She Notice I Barely Spoke 
"Yeah...Meds"I Looked At My Phone 
Texting The Group Chat That I Couldn't 
Hang Out Today And Was Busy"That's 
Too Bad If You Are Free Come Over To 
My House After Dinner"Andrew Said 
In The Group Chat"Okay,Have Fun"
I Texted Back And Texted Ian I Was 
Okay Already Knowing Half Of Them 
Are At The Court House Early Today.
"Coming"Lucas Said Making Me Look Up From My Phone When He Went To The Door"Marcus Lopez?"The Man Said To Lucas With A Envelope In His Hand I Got Up From My Seat And Signed The Paper Getting The Envelope Already Knowing What's Inside 
"Who's It's From?"Lucas Said I Put 
My Point Finger Up For"One Minute"
And Called Dad"No One Important"I Said And Ripped It Up In Small Pieces Throwing It Far Down In The Trash 
Getting Another Letter From My Tio Sent From Jail It Didn't Surprise Me 
When He Knows Where Lucas's Lives.
"Mijo,I Was Just About To Head Over"
Dad Said I Talked In Spanish Telling Him Not To Come And I Was Okay 
"Tio Sent A Letter This Time Here I
Already Threw It Away I Just Wanted 
You To Know"I Said Taking Still Feeling 
Lucas And Emma Staring At Me 
"I'll Handle It You Doing Okay Son?"
Dad's Gentle Voice Made Me Feel More 
At Peace Just To His Words"I Am,Did 
I Get...Any Letters From The Cemetery 
Again?"I Asked Small I Heard Andy Take A Low Breath Out"Don't Worry 
About Those I'm Not Letting Anyone 
Hurt You Sadie Is Taking Care Of It"
Dad Said In Spanish Warmly.
Every Year My Parents Family Would Place A Stack Of Letters To Me Since Dad Was Very Cautious About Keeping Our Home A Secret From Everyone So My Family Would Always Leave Them At The Cemetery Every Year For Me With The News Paper From The Night They Were Killed The Headline Was
"The Devil In Disguised"They Would Send Pictures Of Mom And Dad As A Reminder To Me With Death Threats Telling Me To Go Kill Myself Or Go Suffer And Rot In A Hole Like Lucas