that shadow figure...

                                    

                                          
it's 6 in the morning, i'm in gustav's arms instead of his lap.

as i tried to make myself cozy on his couch, he unknowingly wrapped his arms around me.
it comforted me.
but as much as it did, i can't handle myself right now.

you can't keep questioning yourself if you're not willing to find your own answers.

i made those own words up in my head, and they've been circling in my mind. i've been getting no sleep lately.
i've also been looking worse lately.
i used to have clear skin. maybe 1 or 2 pimples, but nothing more than that.
i've been breaking out in pimples, my eyebags have grown and my body looks frail.
my skin has also been a lighter shade recently - i've been really cold, and my fingertips have also somehow started to hurt ...
and this is all because of stress.

i feel gustav's fingers trickle around my neck, but somehow - it doesn't scare me...
'delilah?'
'gustav.' i chuckle.
'delilah! oh my gosh...' he immediately jumps up as he realizes i was in his arms, i laugh a bit, my voice groggy.
'seriously, gustav? you didn't even notice?' i say in between my laughs.
he crosses his arms, 'you could've told me i was hugging you!'
i roll my eyes, 'oh whatever, calm down.' i get up, and ruffle his hair. his blonde hair's so fluffy, i've been waiting to do that ...
he follows me up, wondering what i'm doing.
'what are you doing now?' he rubs his eyes, his energy somehow doesn't change from when he's tired to when he's awake, it's kind of adorable.
i answer him while boiling the water, 'making coffee.'
'what are YOU doing, gustav?' i smirk.
he shrugs with a smirk on his face, 'i don't know, delilah. you're the one in MY dorm, aren't you?'

i roll my eyes, watching the boiler steam go up. i pour it into my mug, where my coffee powder is.
somehow only now, i realize what happened last night. i turn over to him, a serious expression on my face. he's right behind me, and as he sees my serious expression - he immediately reciprocates.
'something on your mind?' he tilts his head.
i spin my mug around in a circle, 'big. something big.'
'talk to me then, delilah.' he crosses his arms.
i sit on the counter, deciding that right now - i'm going to voice out everything to him.

'gustav. i feel like i've been just out of my mind recently.'
'do you want to know what happened yesterday, why i was really out of school?'

i give him a moment to say yes or no, he just stares at me blankly - but still listening.
'alright well, don't call me crazy - please.'
'but...'
'i saw something.'

i shake my head, correcting myself.

'didn't see it.'
'but i heard it.'
'i don't know what it is.'
'i'm not going to leave you hanging for any longer.'

i sigh, getting myself ready to tell him. i admit - talking about it right now is giving me goosebumps.

'something was in my apartment. i don't know who it is, or even what it is. it was just there, making noise.'
'as i was standing in the middle of my apartment, ready to defend myself with a knife inhand - it whispered in my ear.'
'it said, 'i love you.' '
'and .. don't attack me for this - but .. it sounded like ..'
'bill.'

as i look up, i finally see his dumbfounded expression.
'gustav, are you okay?' my breathing gets a little heavier, worried.
i can't tell what emotion he's feeling right now. it's like it's clear, but not clear at the same time. it's pissing me off that i can't tell...

suddenly, something just tells me...
he might know something about it.

GUSTAV'S POV

i stood there, arms crossed and leaning on the opposite counter of the counter she was sitting on.
i listened to every single word she said, her voice was so serious - so i had to take this serious as well.
but her last few words ...
her last few words really caught my attention.
'as i was standing in the middle of my apartment, ready to defend myself with a knife inhand - it whispered in my ear.'
'it said, 'i love you.' '
'and .. don't attack me for this - but .. it sounded like ..'