Chapter 22

                                    

                                          
Back at the refreshment station, I found myself engaged in a conversation with Evan as we were both enjoying glasses of fresh lemonade. We talked about my past stints in various children's homes. He didn’t know that I was fabricating this story as we went along, but seeing as I had no past, I had to establish something. This scenario just seemed to make the most sense. Evan was in the middle of talking about his passion, baseball. “So, I’ve pretty much been playing baseball my entire life. I can play pretty much any position. I throw a mean split finger fastball,” he said, as he put up his right hand in the shape of a claw, meant to mimic his grip on the ball when he made that pitch. “You know, I had tryouts earlier this summer, and I made the junior varsity team already. And I’m just starting my freshman year in high school this fall!” he continued. I replied, “Yeah I know that, that’s awes…” “Wait,” he interrupted. “How did you know I made JV?” “Oh crap,” I thought to myself. I was busted. I had to think of something quick. “Yeah, I already knew. I was talking to your mom about it earlier. She told me all about your baseball career. She’s very proud of you. She can tell you’re very passionate about the game,” I said. “Wow, thanks for letting me know. I had no idea,” he replied. “So was I just wasting both of our time telling you about all my baseball stories when my mom just told you everything about it already?” I nodded no. “No, I enjoy hearing you talk about it. I think it’s really cool, and really impressive that you made junior varsity already. I’m proud of you as well!” I replied. “Wow, thanks Olivia!” he said, beaming with pride. “When I play my first game, you gotta come out and watch me and cheer me on!” “I’ll be there!” I replied enthusiastically. Feeling that he’s exhausted the topic of his baseball career, he turned the focus over to me. “So, I know we talked about this the other night, but what’s your story? Tell me a little bit about yourself,” Evan said. I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t really have much of one. I had a pretty rough childhood, bouncing from different protective care places. I mean, it wasn’t all bad. I got to play games with some of the other girls, but it never felt like home. I didn’t have a family to go home to, and I didn’t really have too much time to make friends and develop relationships. I mean, any time I got to know anyone, they pretty much disappeared. Either they went to a different place, or a foster home, or were adopted.” Evan gave me a puzzled look. “I just have one question,” he said. “You were in these foster homes for so long, why did it take you so long to get adopted? You’re really nice, and super cool, and I don’t understand why no one would want to adopt you.” I shrugged my shoulders again. “I don’t know, I mean I interviewed some people that were trying to adopt me, but I guess I was being really picky. You know I do have a say in who adopts me. If I don’t like the couple, they can’t just force me to go home with them.” “Right,” he replied. I know I didn’t have a past, but I was getting kind of tired of making up stories to describe a past that didn’t exist. It was just easier to focus on the present. “I’m just glad Meredith came around. She’s been the best thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life. I’ve never been as happy as I am now.” I said to Evan. “Yeah, she’s great. You’re lucky to have her as a mother,” Even answered. Mother. Mother. MOTHER. That word echoed in my head. How did we get here? I know what happened, but I still didn’t understand it. Ever since the change, Meredith pretty much had become a mother figure to me. I don’t know what other role she could play, given the circumstances. It still felt weird actually hearing people refer to her as my mother. Despite it all, Evan was right. I was lucky to have her in my life. Just then, music started to play across the ballroom, and Chloe came running in toward me, followed by Stella and Meredith. “Livvy!” she shouted affectionately toward me. “Dance with me, Livvy!” “Well, who could say no to that?” I replied. I looked back at Evan, who gave me a wink and gave me an approving nod. I took Chloe by the hand and took her out to the dance floor. Chloe was extremely energetic. I couldn’t keep up with her, I just kind of danced along the best that I could. “Wow Chloe, you’re really good at this!” I said to her. “Thanks!” she said. “I’ve had LOTS of practice!” I laughed playfully in response to her. “Oh, I bet you have,” I replied. I looked back at Evan again. I don’t think he took his eyes off us the entire time we were dancing. He had a big grin on his face. I continued to dance with Chloe for a couple of songs, then when the last song was over, she gave me the biggest hug. “I love you Olivia, you’re the greatest!” My heart just melted. I absolutely adored Chloe. She was such a little sweetheart, and so much fun to be around. I really had a newfound friendship with her, one that would only grow through the years ahead, as we would both grow up together. Chloe ran to her mom, bragging very loudly about her new best friend. Evan approached me on the dance floor in the middle of the next song. “Olivia, would you like to dance?” he shouted over the loud music. “Yeah, I’d love to!” I shouted in response. “Let’s dance over there,” I continued, pointing to the far corner of the dance floor. I really didn’t want Meredith or Stella to see us dancing together. I was really trying to avoid any awkwardness. “Good idea,” he replied. I could tell he felt the same way, maybe just not for the same reason. Even and I danced playfully on the far end of the dance floor. “I’m sorry that I’m not really good at dancing,” Evan said. I replied, “You’re better than you think you are.” I looked over and saw that Meredith, Stella, and Chloe had gone somewhere else. As far as I knew, they were out of sight. “They’re gone now,” I said to Evan. Evan smiled at me warmly. I noticed that he began to dance closer to me. I went along with it and started to move in closer to him in response. “What am I even doing?” I thought to myself. I really liked Evan, but I still felt uneasy getting closer to him. I didn’t know how Meredith would receive it if we started dating. Plus, I wanted to distance myself from my past around him. Not that he would ever believe me if I were to tell him how I got here. Despite that, I was starting to feel very relaxed around him. “Maybe I do have a future with him,” I thought. Then I thought about what might happen if things didn’t work out between us. If that happened, with as much time as we spend with Stella and her family, I wouldn’t be able to avoid him. Just then, the current song ended, as it transitioned to a slow ballad. Evan took my hands and whispered into my ear, “Don’t worry, I’ll lead.” I instantly got goosebumps all over. I felt butterflies fluttering in my chest. As the slow dance progressed, I followed Evan’s lead. He held my left hand out, while putting his left hand softly on my hip. I would never admit it, but I all at once fell smitten with Evan, although I sensed that he could read me at that moment. I had a feeling that he felt the same way about me. As we continued to slow dance, I felt our bodies getting closer together. I felt myself falling for him. I laid my head on his shoulder as we continued to sway with the music. He brushed my back tenderly with his left hand. I felt chills down my spine. He whispered into my ear, “Olivia…. I’ve been meaning to tell you this, but I feel a special connection with you.” I gazed into his eyes as he gazed into mine. I feel like I could see forever into his eyes. “I do too,” I replied. He brushed his cheek against mine as he whispered in my ear once more. “It’s weird,” he said. “I feel like…...I feel like I’ve known you my whole life.” Suddenly, I jumped back, startled with the moment. “He didn’t just say that,” I thought. “No, no, no, no, this can’t be happening,” my own voice continued to ring in my head. He was getting way too close to my past. Way too close for comfort. I began to panic. My palms were sweating, and my heart was racing. I felt absolutely frightened. I started to cry. “I’m sorry, I just….I just……” I cried, as I stormed out toward the ballroom exit doors. “Olivia, wait!” Evan shouted, as I ran through the crowd of people. As I ran to the exit, I looked back and saw that Evan had gotten lost in the crowd. I ran full speed out into the hallway, looking for a place to hide. A place I could be by myself. I ran to the closed café that we gathered at a few days before. I sat on a bench in a dark corner, curled up into a ball and cried into my knees.