thirty-two.

                                    

                                          
Loki's POV
Thor refuses to speak to me. But it's fine. He'll get over it. Just like he always does.
Maybe we could throw a festival, or put together a feast, or maybe I should just give him the fight I know he wants. 
Because I can't bring back Heimdall, I won't. He knows that I killed my father, and he knows that I have taken his place. He knows I lied to Azeli about everything... and that's the only thing I care about. 
Is keeping her out of this. Away from me, away from my deranged wife, away from everyone who is after her... 
I knew from the second that I heard my father tell Thor about Azeli that I had to do something. I just had this feeling that I still can't decipher. I've tried to analyze my actions and figure out what feeling I acted on, but I still can't make up my mind. 
It couldn't have been love because I didn't even know her, so that cancels out. 
Did I want to protect her? Did I want to save her from the grips that Thanos had on me? That my father had on me?
Or did I want a distraction before I was sent to spend the rest of my days in Asgard's dungeons? 
Or was it power? Did I want to make her fall in love with me so I could use her to my advantage?
What was I thinking?
I should have just left everything alone. That's why I left. I didn't know my true intentions, I couldn't understand what I was even doing, so I did the only thing I knew how to by tricking my way out. 
I am such a coward. 
I can't face any of my consequences. 
I left my wife, I allowed myself to be Thanos's puppet, I hid with Azeli so I wouldn't have to face my father, I left Azeli, I banished Heimdall because he knew too much, and I sent Azeli to Natenheim and broke the BiFrost because-
WAIT!
Forget cowardness, I am foolish!!
I was so blinded in rage that I sent both Heimdall and Azeli to Natenheim!! I broke the BiFrost so Thor wouldn't go after her, but is there another passage for her to leave? Or Heimdall?!
What if they cross paths?! I must have been out of my mind!
I felt my heart start racing and I quickly stood up from my throne. Oh no, oh no...
I materialized myself into Heimdall's dome and swiftly touched the stone pedestal, thinking about Azeli. 
My eyes grew wide when I saw her falling down an abyss. She was soaking wet, completely covered in blood, and her face was blank, expressionless. That got me worried. 
My mind started racing until she emerged from the black hole in the sky and started falling face first. I watched helplessly as she watched the tree line grow closer and closer, and as I reached my hand out to her in the vision, she hit the top of a tree. She fell down, branch after branch, twisting and turning, her face distorted in pain. 
After what felt like forever, she finally hit the ground and was motionless. 
I didn't have any time to react at the scene before I heard two sets of footsteps behind me. I quickly morphed into Odin and turned around to see the two very last people I wanted to see. 
Sigyn and Thelion strode up to the staircase and stopped at the bottom. 
She laughed. "We know it's you, Loki. Nice try."
I gave her an incredulous look but morphed back into myself, except I wielded my helmet and the Odinstaff. 
"What are you doing here?" I hissed at them. "First Nyota, and now you two."