~ Anxiety ~

                                    

                                          
It started off somewhere with someone for everybody. School, family conflicts, love life, stress, or maybe all. How do people counter to that? And how worse does it get? To the point you take medications? To the point where you find a vantage point for all your problems? Drugs? Addictions?
Everything is too much for everybody to the point that they react differently to protect themselves. Little things trigger you, little words affect you, little gestures traumatise you, and little jokes offend you. It gravely inflicts you to the point you lose control over yourself that you need to be by yourself. 
Everybody lies, including myself. Although i never lie until you ask how i am doing. The feeling of being by yourself calms you that you feel like apart from yourself, nobody would understand you. All the voices in our heads get loud and you wish that you could calm them down. 
Am i that weak? Am i that vulnerable? That my very own thoughts go against me to bring me down when i need it to fight for me. Especially when both heart and mind are in a constant battle against eachother till they both give out and let whatever it is to take over me. Lead me to a place that i thought i never could be in. Making me wish that i grew happier. Making me wonder if it ever ends. The torture of words, the torture of insults, the darkness of my soul, and the very end of my sanity.
                                   ~ scars ~