Double-Edged Sword

                                    

                                          
*Note* This chapter provides insight into Gaara's thoughts and feelings of the reader up until now. This is a bonus chapter and doesn't have to be read but I would recommend it.
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It had been years since Gaara last saw someone that intrigued him in the slightest...who knew that person would turn out to be the childhood friend who broke his heart...
He certainly didn't...he just thought you were some wild girl with a temper. After all, the first time he saw you again you were trying to punch some red-headed boy in the face. You certainly made quite the impression. In fact, your actions sparked his bloodlust...he wouldn't mind meeting you and that Uchiha in battle. 
As it would turn out, he did encounter you in battle...he remembers it vividly. How could he forget? That was when he found out that you were (YN) Fennikusu...(YN)...the girl who stood by his side when he needed it most. You healed his wounded heart...you were what Yashamaru said was the cure to a broken heart--love. He loved you. You made him feel what it was like to not be in constant pain...you healed his broken heart.
Gaara was woefully unprepared for the double-edged sword that is love though...Yashamaru never told him about that...he never told him how love could heal but also destroy...he never told him how it could leave one more broken than they started... of course he didn't tell Gaara this...why would he? After all, Yashamaru broke his heart too but you...you were the catalyst. 
He spent most of his time with you and then you just left without so much as a goodbye. To rub salt in the wound, you even said goodbye to his siblings but not him...how could you do that? You always told him that he was your best friend...you even said you loved him...but that was all a lie wasn't it?! You lied just like Yashamaru...
These thoughts tormented Gaara throughout the rest of his childhood...they fueled him to find his new purpose...killing--That's all he lived for now. It was the only thing that made him feel truly alive...and he had wanted to kill you. In fact he was going to, but your necklace saved you. It was what led him to discover your true identity. 
At first, he thought you were impersonating (YN) but one look at your face disproved his initial thoughts. He'd recognize your face anywhere. Sure, you looked older now, and the baby fat on your cheeks was mostly gone but you still had those bright (EC) that never dulled despite your circumstances...he tried to forget you and what you looked like... He tried. He tried so hard to destroy all of the memories but you still haunted his thoughts. He hated it and he hated how much it hurt to see you again. It had been you all along and you didn't even say a thing... 
You cried as you tried to explain yourself but he didn't care...he just walked away. He couldn't bring himself to watch you like that. He was too hurt and angry that he was hurt...why did it still hurt? He didn't know and it enraged him...so he simply avoided you. He barely spared you a glance. The only time he watched you again was during your battle with Saito and even then he tried to block everything out. He could care less how your battle went but he would be lying if he said he didn't bat an eye when you collapsed to the ground from blood loss...he remembers all the blood...all of your blood staining the ground and for once the sight of blood made him feel nauseated...
After that, he didn't see you for a while...not until you interrupted him trying to finish what he started with Rock Lee...you were either brave or stupid to intervene but you did anyways...he just wanted to kill. He needed to satisfy his bloodlust and you stood in his way...He should have killed you for getting in the way but he didn't. He thought about it..he really did but then memories of your unconscious body covered in blood flashed through his mind and he stopped. He couldn't bring himself to do it...