Chapter 42

                                    

                                          
It was almost time for Tim's therapy appointment. They got the girls settled down in the living room while they were on the phone.
Lucy: "You ready?"
Tim: "Yeah, but I'm scared that you'll learn things that you didn't know. I'm scared you'll leave me when you hear them."
Lucy: "I'm not going anywhere. I understand you have your own baggage, I have my own too. You'll never scare me away." She kisses his forehead. Lucy was sitting up with her back rest on the backboard, while Tim was cuddling her with his head on her chest. The phone rang and Lucy picked the phone up.
Lucy: "Hello, Lucy speaking."
T (Therapist): "Hi Lucy, I'm Sarah and I'm here for the appointment with Tim and I'm assuming his with you."
Tim: "Hi."
T: "How are you Tim?"
Tim: "I've been better."
T: "You're wife briefly explained everything over text and I have read your file. Let's start with your childhood and then your time in the military." Tim explained to the therapist about his childhood and his time in the military. Lucy held him tight as he was explaining, she couldn't believe what happened to him in the army and it explained some of his scars. She sat their not wanting to interfere as it wasn't her life that this happened to, so she just listened.
T: "I'm so sorry you had to go through all that Tim. Let's briefly talk about your ex wife." That's what he did and they spoke about it.
Tim: "That was when I fell into a dark pact, holding out hope for her to come home which never happened. But during that time I meant my new rookie, who saved me in so many ways which I am forever thankful for her."
T: "Was this your wife?"
Tim: "Yeah. At the time, although I was annoyed she stood up to me and challenge some of my decisions. Looking back now, she was right."
T: "It sounds like Lucy has always been there for you no matter what."
Tim: "She is one of my best friends and I know I can freely speak with her without getting judged."
T: "Okay, I know these will be harder to talk about. Lucy was kidnapped after going on a date with a guy that was actually a serial killer." Tim held onto Lucy tighter.
Tim (tearing in his eyes): "That is one of the hardest days of my life. I blame myself for pushing her towards, later on she told me it wasn't my fault but part of me feels like it's my fault."
T: "I did speak to your best friend Angela Lopez about this as well, she mentioned how you were during the search."
Tim: "Yeah. I felt like I was punched in the gut when I found out Lucy was taken, I called Angela because I couldn't handle it. I was in a bad way, I wanted to hit the street and kick down doors as I just wanted to find Lucy." Lucy never knew any of this and couldn't believe how hard Tim was taking the her abduction. Tim then explained the goose chase him and Jackson went of to find her.
Tim: "We all arrived at the property after he was shot. John brought out the live feed of the barrel, you couldn't even tell whether she was breathing or not. We were search the open desert for an hour when I saw something shiny in the distances. I picked it up and it was Lucy's ring, I kicked the dirt around trying to her the bang of metal." Tim paused for a second.
Tim: "I started to dig the dirt away with my hands, everyone ran over after I called out and help. We got her out, I had to perform CPR and it was scary. I was worried that we were too late, but when she started coughing relief floored over me as she was alive. I held her close while she cried and didn't leave her side." Lucy had tears in her eyes as she heard every word he said about the ordeal.
T: "That sounded hard on you, I amuse Lucy knew about all of this."
Tim: "Yeah, I'm pretty sure she does." Tim looked up to see Lucy with tears in her eyes.
Tim: "Baby, you okay?"
Lucy: "I didn't know how much you struggled with that whole thing, I knew part of you would but didn't realise how much it effected you. And I do know that you would be the one to find me, no matter what." Tim tightens his hold on her.
Tim: "Sorry I didn't tell you. You moved on and didn't talk about it so I never mentioned it."
T: "Tim did you ever get nightmare about this?"
Tim (softly): "Yes, I had terrible ones for the first two months and then then weren't as frequent but they still happened."
T: "Okay, with this I want you to sit down with Lucy and talk it out with her. Explain everything to her about how you felt, then I know she did therapy for this but I want you to ask her about her experience. Allow her to tell you how she felt in this whole ordeal."
Tim: "Okay, I can do that."
T: "Now let's move onto your kids, Coco and Emily." Tim tells her the whole story and explained everything to her from the moment he met the kids to when they were taken to hospital. Lucy brought a hand to stroke his head while he was talking about this.
Tim: "My girls are my whole. I'm so grateful for Coco and Emily. All of our daughters are my world, I love them all so much."
T: "Ok, how are you feeling after talking about everything?"
Tim: "I feel so much better."
T: "Okay that's good. Now we will address your panic attacks. What I want you to try, you might need Lucy's help with this; when you are panicked I want you to list five things you can see, then list four things you can hear, list three things you can feel, list two things you can smell and list one thing you can taste. Having a second person to ask you the above is very helpfully, I don't want to disappoint you but I would like you to have a month off from work. We will do twice a week check ins."
Tim: "Okay, I'll do anything to get better for my girls and my beautiful wife. In that month, will I need someone to stay with me or not?"
T: "Not necessarily, but I do believe for you having someone with you will help. Do you want to have someone stay with you and do you know who? As I can inform your captain about it."
Tim: "I would like my wife Lucy to stay with me. She's my everything, I would feel better with her here for me."
T: "I'll arrange it. I will message you both for the next appointment, have a good day."
Tim: "Thank you." They hang up, Tim stayed laying on Lucy's chest.