Recovery

                                    

                                          
Wudu


You coward. You told them what happened to you but didn't have the balls to tell them what you did to them

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You destroyed their life and can't even tell them how 

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Your pathetic 

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Worthless

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You don't deserve them

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You don't deserve Pei, that's why he doesn't love you and never will

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No one ever will. Your damaged goods

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Useless trash

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They'll all be better off with you gone 


I was about to make another cut but felt his hand gently grab hold of mine. "You don't have to do that anymore. I'm here Shu Shi, you can talk to me". I let out a shaky breath. 
His scent was strong. His embrace brought warmth to me and it was so hard to fight against it. Tears filled my eyes and blurred my vision the longer I allowed him to hold my hand. 
"Let it go. I'm here, you're safe". Slowly my fingers unwrapped and gently dropped the blade into his hand. "Thank you, now can I please take care of them"? I nodded. He made his way in front of me, grabbed alcohol and whips, and gently cleaned my wrists before wrapping them neatly. 
"I'm sorry". I whispered. "You have nothing to apologize for, this wasn't your fault". I said nothing. "Were you thinking about Jun Wu"? I shook my head. "Shu Shu"? I shook my head again. "Then who"? He whispered softly. 
"Qingxuan". I looked at him more teary-eyed. "What about them? How did your talk go"? "Good but not good. I told them about what happened to me but not about what I did to them. They still don't know I switched their fate when they were a child". 
"Oh, Wudu". He took me into his arms and held me tight. I wanted to push away from him. I wanted to tell him to leave but I couldn't, all I could do was cry in his arms as he gently rubbed my back. 
"Qingxuan loves you, their not going to abandon you because of what happened to you or what you did". "I lied to them. I hurt them, I had the opportunity to tell them the truth and I still didn't". "They will understand. They'll understand because they love you.
You're the only biological family they have left, they're not going to leave you". "They have someone else in their life. They don't need to depend on me as much". "You're their brother, their older brother. They have a special place in their heart that's only for you, no one will ever be able to replace you in that spot". 
"You can't know that to be true". "I do. You're going to get through this Wudu, I'm going to help you through this. Whatever you need you'll have". 



Don't leave me


























Hua Cheng 


"San Long"? Gege called out half awake as he laid in our bed and I got dressed. I smiled at him before going over and kissing his head. "I'm heading out for a bit, there's someone I need to see". He nodded before drifting back to sleep. 

I promise you your pain will end soon my love 






















I headed straight to The Nether Water Manor and waited patiently for him to come down. Just like gege, Shi Qingxuan was involved in this matter and needed to be comforted.
I could only imagine the turmoil that must be going through their brain added on to the fact that they have to put their trust into someone they didn't trust for a long time. It needs to happen though. The Shi siblings need to heal along with my gege. 



All of this needs to end 


"Hua Cheng". I looked over at him as he walked towards me. "There has to be something we can do"? "I want to help them just as much as you do but don't you think they would want to get rid of him as well". 
"Xie Lian needs to be protected, he's not weak but you and I both know how manipulative Jun Wu can be". He sighed. "You're not wrong". "So what's the plan"?



Word Count: 698