A Broken Heartstring

                                    

                                          
Idiot.
What was he thinking?
Alejandro laid down on the couch with a deep sigh, running a hand through his hair. Shivers ran through him. It was cold, but that was the least of his worries. 
The door shut to Noah's bedroom quickly after they entered the apartment. After the writer had pulled away from Alejandro's near kiss, they hadn't made eye contact for the rest of the night. Straight back to the car, and silence all the way home. Not like the comfortable, welcoming silence that usually occurred when the two simply enjoyed each other's company. This was different. The air was full of tension, so many words unspoken and feelings hidden. 
Alejandro couldn't even focus. He was so embarrassed, upset at Noah's rejection, and worst of all, ashamed of himself. How could he have just leaned in so carelessly? The spanish man didn't know how the bookworm felt of him, and the worst part was that he could of just messed up their whole friendship. The friendship he had worked so hard to build up once more.
And now it was ruined.
He needed to stop overthinking. It wasn't ruined. That was what Alejandro tried to convince himself anyway. His only option was denial, and useless hope. It hurt him hard, filled him with dread as his false reassuring thoughts fell into a deep abyss, useless to his current state. So much for being an optimist. He had ruined everything.
Alejandro took his time to consider everything. If Noah was going to isolate himself, he may as well take advantage of the time alone. Despite the Indian boy's cold demeanour, he wasn't actually a cruel person. He would give Al another chance, let him stay. But this had been a choppy confession of his feelings, and chances were, things wouldn't be the same. It could be awkward forever, and Alejandro might only have one option. Leave and forget this ever happened.
But after working so hard to be more mature, separate from his family and spread his wings like that, would that just be the lowest thing to do? His thoughts faded back to his time on Total Drama. Behind all that flirty, perfected masquerade was immaturity. After realising his mistakes, gaining that sense of self-identity and really starting to gain independence, running away would be the shitty thing to do. The immature thing.
He would have to face this, he knew it. Maybe he could forget these feelings, if Noah didn't like him back. He could sort it out with him, go back to being good friends with the boy. After all, it would solve Noah's strange hesitation to his advances.
Wait. Alejandro paused, his brow furrowing as he sat up from his lying position, a new thought coming across in his mind.
Something wasn't adding up.
A person who wasn't interested wouldn't act like this. Noah wouldn't get nervous like that. And it hadn't just been tonight, either. His mind recapped, slowly piecing things together. The time where they had fell back onto the bookshelf. Noah had blushed, getting nervous. He also then proceeded to have a panic attack. All the times they had accidentally or on purpose touched in a borderline romantic way, Noah had gotten nervous. But not in an average, crushing way. There was something going on here that Alejandro couldn't make sense of, despite his usual emotional awareness.
It was quite possible, the Spaniard realised, that Noah did feel something. That his feelings weren't completely one sided. So why did Noah not let it happen?
He knew damn well when somebody took an interest to him. Despite his immaturity back years ago, he could tell how Bridgette, Lewshawna, Courtney and even Heather had felt. He could sense Harold and DJ's worries, and he was always right. He knew Noah felt something.
Alejandro just had to figure out what was holding him back.
And fix it.
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