Freaky Flight Attendants

                                    

                                          
There she was in her boarding the plane. When I first saw her eyes, I felt like I was getting a preview of paradise. Her long hair flew through the wind. Oh my God ma'am, slap me with your boarding pass, strangle me with your hair and then later tie me up with your seatbelt. I want to be yours.
Passenger: Ma'am, aren't you gonna help me find my seat, you're holding up the line.
Flight Attendant 1: Oh, right!
She takes her boarding pass.
Flight Attendant 1: Carla Simms, Seat 3A, economy - broke *** *****. She thought. Over there.
She said pointing to an aile seat.
Woman: Thank you. 
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Flight Attendant 1: Dear passengers, thank you for flying with What The Actual Hell Airline. The plane will be leaving in 30 minutes. Please turn all phones off unless you are taking my number. Also fasten your seatbelt as demonstrated by Lucy here. And if  you still don't get it 3A feel free to demonstrate on me until you do. 
Passengers: (confused) The fuck is wrong with this lady. 
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Flight Attendant 1: Ma'am, may I interest you in some water, coffee, tea, or soda. 
Old lady in 3D: Water, thank you. I heard a rumor that the airplane water is not safe for drinking. I heard that it can fly. No ordinary water can fly. Rain falls right, not fly. I don't want water.
Flight Attendant 1: So, soda?
Old lady in 3D: Tea would be nice, thank you. 
Flight Attendant: (thought) The shit I have to put up with everyday. Here you go.
Old Lady in 3D: Thank you. 
Flight Attendant: You're utterly most welcome.
Next Seat, 3A.
Flight Attendant 1: May I interest you in any of our beverages?
Carla: I'll have a coffee please. 
Flight Attendant 1: So you like it hot? 
She said her eyebrows raised, looking and sounding like a pervert.
Carla: Excuse me?
Flight Attendant 1: Would you like an iced coffee or hot coffee?
Carla: Iced, thank you. 
Flight Attendant 1: Here you go.
Carla: Thank you.
Flight Attendant 1: You're utterly most welcome. 
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*Ding Dong*
Flight Attendant 1: Seat 3A. Yippee, I'll go. 
She walked over to Carla. 
Flight Attendant 1: You called? 
Carla: Yes, may I have a blanket please; it's cold. 
Flight Attendant 1: You're cold or do you not want me to see what you are doing while looking at me?
Carla: Huh?
Flight Attendant 1 : Did you know that two naked people can get each warm faster than a blanket?