6

                                    

                                          

 Safety is your top priority nowadays. It had been something simple in the past, most of the time easy to do if you followed some precautions. Like don't go outside alone at night, don't go into sketchy places, don't trust strangers, don't get into big white vans, etc., etc...
        With your situation though, it was a lot harder. Your life was like a game set on 'Hardcore' mode 24/7. It was exhausting being afraid all of the time. But what were you scared of? If you came forward, you wouldn't die.
        You sat in your bedroom, sprawled out in bed staring at the dark ceiling. Glow-in-the-dark star stickers clung to the ceiling, ones you had put up with your mom when you were in seventh grade. When you had been in hiding, you counted them thousands of times. You had lay in this bed hoping and praying that you would wake up and it would have all been a terrible nightmare.
        Now you were laying there thinking about what would really happen if you came forward. You began to wonder if you would really be treated as horribly as your dreams showed you. Because what if you were actually treated like a person? What if they just took your eggs and left you alone in some confined house where you could have whatever you wanted? 
        You felt a burning sensation start in the pit of your stomach. From what you had read about scientist's attempts at trying to make embryos start developing and grow without a woman, had been unsuccessful because of one thing: the disease. Despite all women being able to contract the disease dead, the virus still was alive. Scientists said that it had been living without a host, but that it wouldn't live forever and they had no idea how long it would survive without one. So, whenever they got female embryos to start growing, the virus would kill them. They were also not wasting time trying to grow males because they were unneeded, after all the embryos would only last so long and without any women able to replace them, humanity would be doomed. 
        It made you guilty. You were the answer. Your eggs would probably be resistant since you were. But really, all of those women died a horrible, painful death. It's not like you were going to die, you would come nowhere close to dying if you came forward. What were you so scared of anyway?
        Rape.
        It would be a small cost compared to what they went through. Your actions now would save humanity! Why were you just sitting here letting yourself go to waste when you could be the hero who sacrificed her body and soul? You could be like the heroes you see in books and movies who would give themselves up for the greater good, even if they knew it would hurt. 
        You couldn't.
        You were too scared.
        You weren't a hero.
        In your mind, you had a small sliver of hope that everything would go back to normal, that it was all just a dream. You hadn't woken up yet, you could still not comprehend what was going on. The dire need for you. 
        You sat up in your bed pushed the blankets away and stared at your body. Hate seared up inside you. You hated your body.
        Not because you thought you were fat, ugly, or disgusting, but rather that you had breasts and womb.
        That's what made you so fucking horrible.
        Your hands curled up into fists and you punched yourself where your womb would be. You punched and you punched until your fists were burning. The hatred for the world and yourself turned out the pain. No tears dampened your eyes, but a fire of fury burned in their (E/C) depths. 
        You were a coward for not wanting to sacrifice yourself.
        Your body and mind worked against you.