Chapter 13

                                    

                                          
Penchant learns that I've started to raise a dragon, as I read the letters that they send us giving their congratulations. And one day, the leader of Penchant visits our home. 
The middle aged lady with graying hair is called Miranda. She appraises Mist with wonder in her eyes. "I know we like to have our mentees stay independent," she says. "And I was going to let you become a bit stronger before inviting you to a boss raid. But our parties have been begging to see your dragon. So will you join us for our raid tomorrow? We plan to head to Boar Wood to hunt the Spore." 
My debate with my party members lasts a total of ten seconds. Mist wags his tail and excitedly licks his lips, his tongue going everywhere. With a bit of fear in my heart, I say to Miranda, "We'll go. We've always wanted to hunt our very first boss." 
Miranda smiles at the dragon who looks more like a hyperactive cat at the moment. "Boar Wood is one of the most dangerous dungeons in Halo Island," she says. "Be prepared to fend off monsters for quite a while before we stumble upon the boss." She provides us four scrolls that will transport us to Boar Wood, then reminds us to stock up on potions and repair our armor and weapons. She wants us to meet one hour after sunrise at the entrance to Boar Wood. She leaves after a stare-off with Mist, which she loses on purpose with a little smile and giggle. 
That lady seems pretty powerful too, Mist comments, before asking me whether we have any more bacon. 
The next day, I wake up to Juno's snores. I squint in the barely-there glow of the sun, studying the planes of his face. Outside, Mist stumbles across the floorboards. He probably debates against banging his head against my door and asking for more food. 
I get dressed and continue to watch Juno. He's turned into quite the father as well, always watching out for the dragon. I nurse a bit of guilt—of neglecting my party members when Mist has turned into such a big part of my life. I have to make it up to them. 
"I won't... I won't..." Juno mumbles in his sleep. He pauses for a few seconds. "Just hold me." 
He flips over on the bed, facing me, as his eyelids flicker through his dream sequence. 
"But that's not who I am...." His voice cracks on the third syllable, and my heart hurts for him. 
Have I been neglecting Juno? I didn't get to ask him more about his history, about what haunts him. I feel like I trauma-dumped all of my past with the Following on him. Have I not been a listening ear in return? Guilt runs through me. It laces between my fingers as I kneel down beside Juno's bed. His breath comes fast and stilted. 
He rests somewhere between two nightmares, and I can't help myself. I draw nearer. I make out the pores on his face, some of the clogged ones near his nose. I study the hairs of his eyebrows, the wispiness of his lashes. He turns even closer to me, as if sensing my presence. If Mist could read my mind, he would see all kinds of alarming thoughts. 
Because isn't this relationship between me and Juno just a friendly one? Between two party members? 
Over the past months, I have been wishing for more. It eats at me like a guilt, gnawing through my stomach and going so far to make my bones feel brittle. I've tamped it down so much, told myself that it was nothing. That it would amount to nothing. There's no point. 
But right now, looking at Juno in the barest hint of morning, I feel something different. I lean forward. I wrap my arms around the rogue when he says one more time, "hold me." 
And even though he might startle, I use my softest touch. I realize I haven't had many embraces in my lifetime, but this one feels real. Juno, in the throes of sleep, holds me back. He stops his muttering. His breath brushes past my ear and kisses my neck. He holds me with a strong grip, like with the same strength he might have when holding a weapon.