Rüya died...

                                    

                                          

This is what I imagine happened between the ending of episode 32 an the beginning of episode 33, when Alaz tells Yaman: "Rüya is dead." The beginning of episode 33 was very unsatisfying for me, so here's what happened in my mind.

"Rüya died." Alaz says in a serious, too  serious tone while lowering the phone he was just talking to. For a moment that sentence and it's meaning doesn't register in his mind. But his body knows: Yaman feels a tear drop down his cheek. Dead?  That makes no sense whatsoever. Not even ten minutes ago he was talking to Rüya on the phone. Dead?
"Dead? What do you mean dead?" Yaman manages to utter through the shock. Instead of answering his urgent question, Alaz just stares at him with tears building up in his eyes. That's not good. Yaman thinks, scratching off the possibility of Alaz doing the worst possible prank on him. At the same time his adrenaline starts running high, his heartbeat rises and panic starts to take over his senses. 
Yaman jumps up from his seat and slaps his palms on the table. His gaze is digging into Alaz's face as he tries to get answers out of his brother before he loses his mind. "What do you mean Rüya died?! I was just talking with her on the phone! Who called you? How would they know that, Alaz!? Look at me!". 
Yaman's shouting finally makes Alaz focus on the situation again. He looks at Yaman's trembling form, eyes filled with panic and tears. "It was... Çağla called me... She was in a panic. I think Rüya fell off a cliff. I'm not sure how. It was really high..." Alaz manages to say, recalling the phone call he had just received.
If Yaman was panicking before, now he is in anguish, everything suddenly feels real. "What cliff, what were they doing at a cliff? This makes no sense!? Where are they, we need to go there, NOW!" Yaman yells, losing his sanity little by little. He starts half running out of the building towards  the car. "Let me drive, you are in no shape to drive safely!" Alaz yells, following Yaman out.
Yaman doesn't answer, but throws the keys to Alaz. Alaz calls Çağla again, to figure out where they were. Yaman couldn't hear what they talked about, all he hears is the beating of his heart in his ears. He taps his fingers on his thighs to channel his anxiousness somewhere. "Where are they!? Did she call an ambulance? Tell her to send the location to them immediately." Yaman says, trying to be rational, even though he feels anything but. 
"Yes, she called for help. I got the location from her, let's go." Alaz says, starting the car. As they are driving, every minute feels like an hour. Reality starts to sink in: Rüya, his Rüya, has fallen off who knows what cliff. This makes no sense! She would be okay, right? She can swim. There's no way she actually... Yaman shakes his head and presses his palms to his cheeks, slightly slapping them to make sure he is awake. 
"She will be fine, right? Alaz, why did you say she is dead? That's not possible, I was just on the phone with her!" Yaman tries again. Alaz just glances at Yaman with a face full of pity. "I'm not sure, Çağla just said it like that..." He tries to explain. 
"Why would she say that!? Rüya will be fine, she is the strongest woman I know!" Yaman half shouts, trying to convince himself as much as Alaz.  His brother just hums in response, stepping on the accelerator more. 
Even though Yaman doesn't want to let his thoughts go there, he sees flashes of news headlines "A young woman was found dead in the water after a great search effort", paired with a horrifying mental image of a pale body being revealed at the morgue. Those thoughts drive him crazy: Yaman feels bile rising up his throat, blood draining from his face, heartbeat rising even higher and tears flowing down his cheeks. No, no, no... Not Rüya, not like this... She will be fine, she will make it.
By the time they reach the cliff, Yaman's head is pressed down, his hands cupping the back of his head, elbows leaning on his thighs. Two seconds before the car had stopped, Yaman opens the car door and runs out. "RÜYA! RÜYA!?" Yaman shouts as he is approaching the ledge. The police is already there, trying to guide him further away from the edge. 
Yaman can't be stopped though. Not now. Not in this situation. "RÜYA!!!" he shouts, and stumbles on his knees, the severity of the situation settling in as he looks down the impossibly high cliff. He tries to get even closer to the edge, crawling. "RÜYA!! Can you hear me!?" His efforts are stopped by two police officers, who hook him by the armpits and force him further from the ledge. "What are you doing!? SHE IS THERE!? WHY HAVEN'T YOU FOUND HER!?" Yaman shouts frantically, trying to free himself. 
"Yaman, I know this is a difficult situation, but please, try and calm down. Our men and the rescue team are doing their best to find her. The last thing we need is another person falling down to find." The police chief says in a rational tone. "RÜYA IS DOWN THERE!" Yaman doesn't want to listen, and continues to struggle against the hold of the police officers. He is turning and squirming until his gaze spots someone. Çağla .
Now he has another objective: finding out what the hell happened here and how was it possible for Rüya to fall down. He rises his palms in surrender, and relaxes his body. The police officers let Yaman go carefully, still making sure he wasn't going to run to the ledge. Yaman stands up and starts taking huge strides towards Çağla, who is sitting at the back of the ambulance. 
"Çağla!" He yells half way to the ambulance. Çağla's head shoots up with a deer in the headlights -look in her red rimmed eyes. "Yaman, I'm sorry, I couldn't stop her!" She mumbles. Yaman's fierce eyes are locked on her, and she has nowhere to hide. 
"Çağla, tell me what the hell you were doing here, how Rüya ended up on that ledge and why she fell. NOW!" Yaman is shaking in rage, eyes squinted with tears falling down his cheeks and hands squeezed into tight fists by his sides. Çağla got startled, and could not keep her gaze on Yaman. She felt too ashamed. 
"We were driving from the hospital... Then she received a phone call... She parked the car here. She took a walk while talking on the phone. I didn't follow her all the way to the edge. She seemed upset by the call, and started crying after hanging up. I was worried if something bad had happened. Then she started approaching the ledge. I got worried and started running toward her. I shouted at her, but she just looked at me and said something about you, and how nothing mattered anymore. Then she... She... She threw herself down there!" Çağla says, tears streaming down her face. 
Yaman looks at Çağla with disbelief and a pit forming in his stomach "You... you are saying she jumped off because of.. because of the phone call? She said my name?". Suddenly Yaman feels light headed again, a loud buzzing sound in his ears. That can't be it...It's...It's MY fault...
"I don't know everything happened so fast! She jumped maybe a minute or two after the phone call. I was so shocked I called Alaz..."Çağla explains, not being able to look Yaman in the eyes.
Yaman's breathing becomes labored as he starts walking back towards the police. There are a thousand thoughts trying to enter his mind at the same time. His eyes become glazed over as he stares at the sea. She did this because of me. Because of what i said to her on the phone... She is in the water, alone and cold because of ME. 
"Rüya..."