Epilogue

                                    

                                          
 LUKE | 1 week in prison.
CRIMINALS must repent for all their wrongdoings, they say. I don't believe that. What I believe is that nobody in this world is good. We are all bad, but society's judgment isn't fair enough to have the will to admit or even accept the fact that we, the so-called bad guys, are just as bad as they are. 
I was born an innocent child with the nature of being loving and kind. All I wanted was acceptance and love from the people around me, especially my family. But did you know what they did to me? They turned me into becoming one of the villains of this city's great history, tagged with my father's ruthless legacy. 
As bad as it may sound, I will never regret everything I did. They were the ones who killed me ever since I was a child. Worse is that I'm still alive, yet it always felt like I had already died years ago. I was just trying to be my own hero because nobody ever stood up for me, but they've always seen me as the villain who's hungry for blood and violence. Well, they were wrong, I wasn't. I was also a victim, but when I did what they did to me, I became the bad guy. 
Tears somehow managed to escape from my eyes when I recalled the memories I had as a child.
"Dad, do I also get to play in the playground just like Liam? I'm the top student in my school."
"I don't care, Luke. Liam is doing better than you, so just be thankful you still have food on your spoon. Now, go back to your room because for fuck's sake, I don't want to see you here!"
"But he's only a home-school student. I'm smarter than him, Dad!"
I can still feel the pain of that ten-year-old Luke who was slapped by his father just because he wanted to play the same way his twin brother got to play with. You know what's worse? He could've received a simple 'no'.
"Can I have some of your ice cream, Liam? That's too much for you to finish by yourself. Besides, we're twin brothers, right? I think it's nice if we would share and eat that together."
"Luke, did you forget? Dad doesn't want me to share what's mine. He said this is only for me and I can't share it with you."
"I won't tell father you gave me ice cream, I promise."
"But I will tell him you said that."
Could you imagine the pain of a child who only wants ice cream, yet receives the greatest betrayal of his life? And his twin brother was the one who betrayed him, take note of that.
Malinaw na malinaw pa sa memorya ko lahat ng nangyari at ginawa sa akin mula pagkabata ko. Palagi kong tinatanong sa sarili ko kung hindi ba ako mabait na bata para saktan at parusahan nang gano'n. Hindi ako nawalan ng pasa, latay, at sugat sa katawan ko. Sa tuwing sinasaktan ako ng sarili naming ama, unti-unti akong namamatay kahit pa sa susunod na mga umaga ay gumigising pa rin ako. Sana nga namatay na lang ako. Sana napatay na lang niya ako, pero hindi, kaya mas lalong masakit—dahil hindi tumitigil ang sakit.
Dahil sa pagmamahal ng ama ko sa kakambal ko, ako lang ang pinag-aral niya sa labas dahil mas gugustuhin niyang ako ang masaktan ng ibang tao kaysa si Liam, at iyon ang nangyari. Anak ako ng mayor pero ni isa ay wala akong naging totoong kaibigan. Lahat ng masasakit na salita na mayroon ay narinig ko. Wala siyang ginawa para ipagtanggol ako. Pero kapag kapatid ko ang may kasalanan, sa akin pa rin ang sisi at parusa. Lumaki ako sa paniniwala na mali ang maging mabuti dahil ang sarili kong ama, kahit anong gawin ko, kahit naging mabuting anak ako, hindi pa rin naging mabuting ama sa akin.
I got no one but myself. And when Vlad spread the rumor that I'm a sexual abuser, that was my turning point. That was when I told myself it was time to stop being good and kind. So I became the villain. I planned everything from then. And halfway my plan, I met Detective Danica and found out that my father trusted her, and she was in a secret relationship with Sejean. That was the reason we became allies, we were all hating over my father.
Yes, I killed my twin brother and I don't regret it. Honestly, I felt free when I killed him. The grudge inside me suddenly disappeared along with his death. And my father, I saw Vlad took away his life but I didn't feel anything, not even a bit of sadness. I was. . . happy.
So, can someone ever tell me if I was the bad guy all along? Or I was just one of the victims nobody had ever seen? But that doesn't matter now. I'm contented with what I have done, and now, holding this rope is somehow peaceful. I have done my purpose. I'm done with my life.
In no time, I saw myself hanging inside a prison cell. But this isn't the end of me. This is the end of all the pain I have endured ever since I was a child. I have finally committed—I'm proud of myself. And after that, the only thing I can remember is me, gasping for the very last time. But if had a chance, I would've given myself a prestigious award called Murder of the Year.

THE END