Getting up in the late afternoon, she stretched and let out a big yawn before heading right to her little studio room to paint something that came to her in a dream: a cabin in a forest.
It was the most at peace she had felt in weeks, in her dreams. By the time she was halfway done, she heard the front door open breaking her out of her trance. She had zoned out for half of the day. Rather than calling out to Morgan, she let him walk by the room and head to the bedroom to check in on her, which led him to retract his way to the studio room.
"Laney?"
"Yeah?"
The door opened revealing Morgan in his hunting attire, something she had never seen. He looked good. Taking it in, she watched him slowly unravel his top layers of clothing onto the studio floor.
"You slept through today" he pointed out as he shoved off his jacket and peered at the painting.
"Yeah guess I was tired," she shrugged, "Kill anything?".
He nodded, "Killed a turkey or two but there wasn't much out there today".
She nodded before refocusing on the painting in front of her, which she had now lost motivation for.
"Are you mad?"
She turned around to face him, "No sorry just a lot on my mind".
"Want to talk about it?" he sighed.
It was a pain going through the same constant conversations and dealing with the pressure from the outside world as well as their internal world which consisted of Katie and Josh, unfortunately, two people they hadn't heard from still.
She shook her head and he nodded leaving the room and closing the door for her. But she wanted to tell him, she just didn't know how or what to even say. What was she supposed to say?
Hey, I'm really tired of the drama in our lives from Katie and Josh. This is becoming a lot for me and I need to figure out a way to step back. It's not you, it's me. I'm scared of you getting thrown in jail. I'm mentally getting detached from everything around me.
She couldn't find the words, so she knew it was better to say nothing at all. She didn't want to break up with him, but she needed a way to take a step back which was difficult considering they lived together and he now provided for her. Airing it out to a therapist would mean her private internal thoughts and high-profile relationship would be at risk of being put on blast, despite a confidentiality agreement, she never trusted therapy.
Confessing to a friend jeopardized the same issue as admitting to a therapist. So she only had herself. There was no other way to view it. Leslie wouldn't understand because her son is her son and not her partner, plus she didn't even comment on Morgan's shenanigans to him, at least not that she knew of. Her own mother would take Morgan's side, especially after Penny decided to marry up in status, alleviating the financial burden. Knowing Laney would be set for life seemed all that may matter, at the end of the day to her mother, Laney was a second thought these days.
These second thoughts were normal in every relationship except when she was living with him. There wasn't a point of return exactly. Things just naturally escalated the way they did. But as Morgan mentioned to her, there was a heavy price that came with him: physically, emotionally, and mentally. It was summed up in one word: fame.
He had opened up to her about how fame was his greatest accomplishment yet his greatest opponent. It had allowed him to be materialistic and provide for his parents and himself without worrying about bills like his mom once did. But it made him lose friends, privacy, and sometimes himself. Love was one of those things he was either all in or all out and Laney was not going to let that wall around him crumble due to her.
