Chapter Thirty-One

                                    

                                          
Chapter Thirty-One
- All of this silence and patience, pining and anticipation -
April 7th, 2023
April 6, 2023
How many nerve-wracking life events are enough for one weekend? 
Do three make the cut? 
I feel like it definitely does! 
Just hours ago, I was the happiest I could be, nervous in all the best ways about the upcoming shoot and meeting May, but then Tree called with those annoying news. I don't know how long we actually spent discussing our statement; only that it felt like hours. 
I trust my people unconditionally, and I'm convinced Joe himself is to blame for this leak. Obviously, we're not putting that out, though! 
I'm curious to read the draft Tree is working on. I insisted she'd make sure to include that our breakup wasn't dramatic or anything and how we simply grew apart. She said something along the lines of 'Your relationship has just run its course' or whatever, and I really liked that one as well. I can only hope it'll be enough damage control and it doesn't get dirty when it hits the tabloids tomorrow. 
Given that Joe, or at least someone close to him, totally ignored our agreement to come up with a mutual statement in a few weeks has me on high alert though.
Oh damn, this could get really messy real quick. 
It certainly doesn't help pull focus for the video, but this won't be the first time for me to work under pressure either... It's going to be fine. 
We're going to do a couple scenes, they'll turn out amazing, I'll head back to the hotel and... And then I'll meet May there. 
It hasn't completely sunken in yet.
Also, and I know this isn't fair, I am afraid she'll stand me up again. I don't actually believe she'd make up such a story, but the overthinker in me wants to yell at her for chickening out, and I feel horrible for even considering it was just her way of getting around meeting me. 
Guess I will get clarity soon enough, after all. 
That's, however, not going to be the end of it. I'm still not too sure on how to break the truth to her, and I can't even begin to imagine her reaction, but I do know that I want her to look at 'me' the way she looked at 'Taylor' the other night. The short glimpse I caught of her in front of the stage almost made me stop functioning, and I nearly messed up my lyrics... But I won't bother you again with this, as I think I've written it out in great detail a few days back. 
Yep, just checked. Three pages IS enough gushing for a week, haha. 
But Lord, she's beautiful; how could I not fill entire books about her and everything she does?? 
Anyway, I'll have to get going. 
Wish me luck,
Taylor. 
~~~
Allie: 'Just got to the hotel and 
thought I'd check in to see if 
everything's going well. Can't wait 
to finally meet you, but at the same 
time I'm a wreck. SO nervous!
xoxo'
I smile at my screen as I read her text. I can't wait either, even though I have been shaking in anticipation for hours now. It's a mystery how I haven't passed out yet. 
To calm myself, and hopefully Allie as well, I decide to call her up before I need to get on the plane. Seconds later, an amused giggle echos through my speaker, making me smile, instantly more relaxed by the sound of her voice. 
"Hi," she hums. 
"So this really is happening?" 
"I guess it is." 
"Just wanted to tell you in person how excited I am. My flight will take off soon, but honestly, I don't know how I'll survive it."
"And why is that?" 
"Everything and nothing? I'm all over the place; I can't concentrate, Allie. I'm trying to picture what it will be like to finally see you, but I can't. I try to imagine what it will belike to hold you, but it's impossible. Hell, I don't even know what the right way to greet you will be. Handshake? That's way too formal! A Hug? I might not be able to let you go again. Or do we just kiss right away? What if I won't be able to say a single word, like, at all?"
All this bursts out of me in barely ten seconds, and I would've gone on if it weren't for her interrupting me. 
"You're cute when you're freaking out."