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B E L L A






Life is cruel. We already know it. We just need to adjust to it. Things not always turns the way we want or the way we wanna see. You'll be happy one moment and then sad the next. And this cycle can go on and on until every tiny pieces in you screams at you- to let it go. 
Just let it go..
But, we hold on to it. We clutch that part of us that doesn't wanna let go. All because of the people we love. A great feeling yet the most dreaded if one completely and utterly swim in the ocean of love. 
And I did. I'm swimming in it. With every cell in my body, every fibre in my being and I let it consume me.
I, Bella Raghuvanshi is in love with Mahir Raisinghani.
And I realized that when I was scared to lose him. The thought of him being with someone else clenched my heart painfully and I couldn't breath. I tried.
But, I couldn't. 
Love is a warm feeling in a winter, a fluttery feeling in the spring, soul clenching sensation in the rain and-then there comes the summer, a soft embrace in the water. I felt it.
But, with it I'm feeling the agony of consequences that comes with it. Love is a gift and every gift comes at a high price. I'm paying it.
Sometimes the truth is in someone's eye and when you look into them you'll know exactly what you're looking for.
I left Mahir not because he was going to be the father of my sister's child. I saw the truth in his eyes when I was leaving. I believed him. I believed every word he said.
But, that's not all I wanted to hear. I wanted him to tell me how important I was in his life. I wanted him to tell me no matter what happens he'll be with me. But, when I looked into his eyes they're j-just empty.
I couldn't find myself in there and that's the reason I left. I had a hope that it'll go back to normal, that we'll get through this but what happened today just proved how delusional I was.
I was trying to save a relationship when there was nothing to save. Today just proved my point. 
This morning, I received a package and it was the divorce papers send by him. His name was written on the sender's and not to forgot his sign was on the papers. He already planned everything out. 
He knew she was gonna come back.
"Ma'am?"
My chain of thoughts broke when the nanny stood infront of me. I let out a deep sigh and looked down the milk that spilled all over the kitchen counter.
"Sorry, I'll just clean it. Can you see if Pari's awake?" I asked softly and she nodded leaving. I have been staying at Isha's for the past few days. I didn't know where to go and I certainly can't go back to my house. As much as I love my sister, I just couldn't be in her presence. I was angry and upset and g-guilty.