flare up

                                    

                                          
requested!
leah has an endo flare up.
Y/N's POV
I woke up to an empty bed next to me, Leah nowhere to be seen. I sat up, all prepared to get up and search for her, until I heard sobs coming from the bathroom. Straight away I knew this would be a flare up that needed managing, and that involved me going to see Leah. I got out of bed, quickly putting my dressing gown on before going to the bathroom and knocking on the door. 
"Leah?" I said. 
No response, just the sound of her sobs becoming louder. 
"Leah I'm coming in okay?" I spoke again before opening the door. I was met with Leah curled up in a ball on the floor, sobbing her heart out. It never got any easier seeing Leah in so much pain when her endometriosis flared up, but as always I stepped up to do whatever needed to support her.
"I can't move." Leah sobbed. 
"Oh angel," I sighed. "Take deep breaths okay? Do you need me to get you anything?"
Leah shook her head. 
"I just need a hug." 
"Well I can definitely do that," I said, wrapping my arms gently round her shaking body. She was sweating due to the panic, and with the amount of pain she was in, I was surprised she hadn't passed out. 
"You can't be comfortable down there babe, let's try and get you back into bed." I said, rubbing Leah's back as she cried. 
"I don't think I can Y/N/N, it's hurting so bad." Leah replied. 
"You can babe, we can do this." I said, reassuring her and taking her hands. I very slowly lifted her up, practically carrying her back to her bed. She winced as I moved her, reminding me constantly how much pain she was in, which broke me. 
I sat Leah down in her bed and tucked her up under the covers. She grabbed a hold of her teddy bear, squeezing it tight to try and control the pain. 
"Now that you're back in bed, do you need anything?" I asked again. 
"I feel sick so definitely no food." Leah replied, calming herself down a bit. 
"Okay, that's fine. I'll grab some ibuprofen and some water for you from downstairs in a second." I said. Leah tried to smile at me, but as she looked into my eyes, I could see that wasn't going to happen, but instead her eyes filled up with tears again. 
"Can you just stay with me for a while?" she wept. 
"Of course I can," I replied. "What's wrong?"
Leah took a moment to try and compose herself, but it wasn't working. 
"Control yourself Leah, this is ridiculous." she mumbled under her breath. 
"What are you talking about bub?" I asked concerned, sitting down next to her on the bed and rubbing her back. 
"I don't even know. I just feel so sad today and the pain isn't helping." Leah cried. 
"You don't need to control yourself at all Leah, you know that. All you need to do is rest and relax, and try to subside this pain, okay? And I am here right by your side through all of it." I said. "Being in pain and feeling sad definitely isn't the best combo, but you're so strong and you'll be okay."
"I'm not normally this bad but today, I don't know, I just feel like all I want to do is cry." Leah admitted. 
"Let it all out Leah, don't bottle any of it up. I'm right here. But if you want me to leave you alone and give you space I will, don't be afraid to tell me to get lost." I said. 
"No please don't go anywhere, I need you here Y/N." 
"Okay. I'm here, and I'm not leaving you. I do have to go and tell Sarina that we're not training though."
"We?" Leah asked. 
"You didn't think I would go to training and leave you on your own like this did you?" 
"Y/N please don't sacrifice yourself and your training for me, I'm not worth that." 
"Leah you've just told me you want me to stay, plus when you're in this bad of a state I was not going to leave you on your own. I'll ring her shortly and let her know." I replied. "And also, you are worth everything. Don't let this shitty endo flare up take that from you."
Leah buried her head in her hands and cried to herself, as I wrapped my other arm around her and hugged her tight. 
"Why me?" She asked. "Why do I have to deal with this? It makes me feel incapable of doing my job, I feel sad all the time and I'm always anxious about when the next flare up is going to come and if it's going to be bad. Every time I get my period I can hardly play because of the pain and then the whole country knows I'm on my period because I don't play. They're all going to think I'm such a wuss because I'm scared, but I'm scared all the fucking time because I don't know when I'm going to flare up. I hate it Y/N, I hate everything and all I want to do is cry."
My heart stopped for a moment. Hearing Leah say all these things stopped me in my tracks, I didn't know what to say to make her feel better because I knew it would make her feel worse, but at the same time I couldn't help but worry I would say the wrong thing and cause her to flip. Instead, I took her hands away from her face and lifted her chin up so she could see me. 
"Leah Cathrine, you are not a wuss. You are so strong and so inspirational to me and so many other people out there. I know it feels like everything around you is crumbling right now, but you are the strongest person I know, battling through every day to keep going and that takes strength, even on the days where you can't quite do what you wanted, you still get up and try. Life is shit sometimes, so if all you want to do today is cry it out, you do that! I will be here every step of the way, and if you want me to talk you through it I will, or even if you just want me to sit next to you, I'm down for that too."
"Can I have a hug?" Leah interrupted me. 
"Don't even feel like you have to ask me. Just hug me if you want a hug, I'm always down for one. Hugs fix a lot of things."
"I feel less scared and anxious when I'm with someone. You make me feel safe Y/N/N." 
"Leah, don't say that or you'll make me cry!" I laughed, trying to push my tears back. 
Leah said nothing, but instead wrapped her arms around me and squeezing me tight. I hugged her back tightly, holding her close to me to make sure she knew she was safe. 
"Bub I need to ring Sarina." I said. Leah nodded, letting me grab my phone off the bedside table, but still kept a hold of me as she began to dry her tears and calm down a bit. 
Sarina: Hi darling is everything okay?
Y/N: Yeah I'm okay. Just wanted to ring because Leah's having an endo flare up and is feeling really low today so we're going to stay off training today. Don't want to leave her on her own, poor girl's been crying all morning in pain. 
Sarina: Bless her, I understand. Have you given her some medication?
Y/N: I'm waiting for a while just as she calms down, but I got her off the bathroom floor so she's comfortable now, just wants to feel her feelings today I think. 
Sarina: That's the best idea. I'll put Millie in charge today. Look after yourselves girls.
I hung up the phone and put it down back on the bedside table, bringing my arm back round to Leah, who was starting to yawn. 
"How's the pain?" I asked. 
"Slowly getting there, I feel sick though." Leah replied. 
"You're okay, just take deep breaths. I'm right here remember." I said, holding Leah tightly as she breathed through the pain, eventually sending her off to sleep.