Prof ain't that bad

                                    

                                          
Okay now that escalated pretty quickly that also in the wrong direction now what should I do , should I do sit ups and say sorry or should I just lay on his feet and say sorry and not leave till he forgives me . I should calm down first and keep my mouth, mind, heart everything shut and react rationally. To make things worse all my mind did was "eotteoke jinjja " in different actors voices. My brain is not braining what should I say to him that won't make him more angry. My mind said don't stand there looking dumb atleast say something anything comm'on you can do it , you have to do it , have you lost it.
Then all I said was "eotteoke jinjja".
Prof Robin looked at me a little worried he might have thought that I desperately need psychiatric help. Maybe I do need it. Again I opened my mouth as everything was slowly settling in that I won't have help for my thesis and won't learn anything if he lets me go I can't let that happen that's not why I came here. I started spiralling again thick tears started forming in my eyes. If I will have to do his household chores to get him back as my mentor or if he wants to call me donkey in front of everyone he can but I can not let him get rid of me that easily. 
I started crying like a small kid and whining saying SORRY Sir it won't be ever repeated again sir please don't let go of me . Please sir I cannot do a thesis without any help sir please help me sir I  take back everything that I said before sir you can call me whatever you want to call me sir . Tell me anything you want me to do sir I will do it no questions asked sir. Please! Please! Pretty please! Sir. 
Before I could say anything else he came in front of me with a glass of water and told me to shut up before I change my mind and stop crying, drink this water. 
I dared to ask you won't abandon me right ?
He looked at me and said are you crazy or have you forgotten that I am your professor also drink this water first and wipe your tears. Go and wash your face over that basin in the corner. Do you need me to step out or anything?
I said no in a small voice I was afraid he will not forgive me if he goes from here I gulped the water in my hand and washed my face over the sink my face had turned red actually maroon as I have a dusky skin tone.
I took a deep breath and went in front of him with my head laying low. He asked me to sit besides him then said listen to me carefully and don't take it in a wrong way and don't ever tell this to anyone else. I nodded my head into yes still looking down.
He said look at me when I am talking to you I looked up I couldn't understand his gaze was it loving no way caring maybe .
He said I don't call you AIR 5 because I want to tease you or anything its because I admire you for that , I don't want you to forget how much you have fought to come here in OMFS being an girl it is not easy to come here I understand that , you shouldn't forget that or take that into your head as the journey ahead is not easy it never was it never will be I am there to help you don't get distracted easily. Other important thing is you are not a kid anymore you can't cry on simple things that someone teased you or shouted on you , you can't be weak if you want to stay in OMFS you need to be strong you are not a kid anymore . Do you understand?
My jaw was hanging low my mouth wide open I never expected this conversation to turn this way. I never knew this was his intentions behind those words he was thinking for the betterment of me and all I did was victimize myself and paint him devil. 
I said yes I do understand sir I took it in the wrong way I am really sorry sir I won't repeat this mistake again sir.
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