Chapter 7

                                    

                                          
Zayn wakes up to a loud beeping sound echoing in his ears. "Shit." He hears someone mutter before the beeping abruptly ends. 
Zayn slowly opens his eyes to find himself wrapped around Liam. His arms are wrapped around Liam's torso, head on his chest and one leg thrown over Liam's legs. He can also feel Liam's arms tightening around him softly. 
Zayn lifts his head resting his chin in the centre of Liam's chest, to find Liam looking down at him. "Morning." Liam says, his gravelly morning voice sending shivers down Zayn's spine. "Sorry about the alarm, but I have to go wake the boys up." 
Zayn nods and pushes himself up, sitting all the way up as Liam stands up and heads for the door. "I'll be right back." He calls over his shoulder. 
Zayn nods to the empty room before beginning his hunt for his phone. He finds it quickly, tangled in the sheets at the foot of the bed. He opens it, expecting to see something from his mom or sisters. 
After an incident like last night, one of them usually checks in to make sure he's doing ok. At least to make sure he's not dead. But there's nothing. 
They don't care. Zayn thinks as tears prick at the corners of his eyes, threatening to spill over. He quickly blinks them back as Liam walks back into the room. 
"You need clothes for school today, yeah?" Liam asks, heading for his closet. 
"Yeah." Zayn says, his voice barely above a whisper. He fails to keep the tremble of tears out of his voice, and Liam picks up on it. He turns around quickly and walks over to the bed. 
"Z, why are you crying?" He asks, sitting down in front of Zayn on the bed. Zayn just stares down at his locked phone. 
"I thought my mom or sisters would have texted, wondering where I was, but they didn't. They don't care." Zayn whispers, tears falling freely down his face now. He feels it as Liam's hands come up to cup his face. 
"Z, listen to me. Your mom and your sisters love you. Your home life is very complicated, but I know them and they love you so much. And you have so many other people who love you. Louis, Harry, Niall, me." 
Zayn can't help but dwell on Liam's choice of words. 
Love? Does Liam love me? No, don't be ridiculous. Zayn does his best to block out the voice, focusing his attention back on Liam. 
"And we would all do literally anything for you, Z. You may not have your mom and sisters right now, but you'll always have us. Especially me. I'll always be your family." Liam finishes and Zayn wastes no time in tackling him, wrapping his arms around Liam's neck. 
Liam lets out a surprised squeak as they fall backwards onto the bed, caging his arms around Zayn. "Thank you. You'll always be my real family." Zayn whispers in his ear, smiling to himself. 
He yelps as Liam squeezes him tightly, rolling over so that he was holding himself over Zayn. Their faces were only a few inches apart. "I'll always be right here." Liam whispers, his hand comes up to brush the tears off of Zayn's cheeks. 
Zayn presses into the touch slightly, staring up at him. At his dark chocolate eyes. At his hair that was still messy from sleep. And his lips. Zayn's eyes linger on his lips. 
The only thing Zayn wants right now is to be able to kiss him. To show him the love that he has for him. To give Liam back the love he'd been showing Zayn since they were 6 years old. 
Zayn watches as Liam's eyes drop and linger on Zayn's lips, leaning down slightly. Then, suddenly, Louis comes bursting into the room. Liam practically jumps off of Zayn, moving away, and Zayn sits up. 
He doesn't like me. Stop being ridiculous. He jumped away from me as soon as another person was in the room. Zayn lets the little voice in his head take over his thoughts until Louis suddenly starts talking. 
"We gotta get going soon. You know it stresses Harry out to be late." Louis says, leaving the room as quickly as he had entered. Liam moves quickly over to the closet, ruffling around for a moment. 
He comes out with a pair of black skinny jeans, some old band t-shirt and a red flannel. He hands them to Zayn and steps away awkwardly. "I'll let you get dressed. Just meet us downstairs when you're done." He mumbles and heads for the door. 
Zayn just sits there for a moment, listening carefully as Liam's footsteps disappear down the stairs. Zayn moves quickly over to his school bag that he leaves at Liam's and digs around for a moment, before coming up with what he was looking for. 
His razor. 
He walks quickly to the bathroom and locks the door behind him, taking a seat down on the edge of the tub. He rolls his sleeve up and lays the razor against his skin. He takes a deep breath and moves the blade in a slow line, creating a thin red line across his wrist. 
He marks himself 4 times down his arm, giving each one a reason. 
For making dad hit me. 
For making Liam take care of me. 
For wasting Liam's time. 
For being stupid enough to think that Liam loved me.
He lets the cuts bleed for a moment, letting the words ring in his head, unable to tear his eyes away from the marks on his arm. After a minute he grabs a piece of toilet paper and presses it down hard against his arm until the cuts stop bleeding. 
He buries the red stained paper in the bottom of the trashcan and dresses quickly. The sleeves of the flannel are long enough to cover his hands, so the cuts aren't visible. Zayn goes back out into Liam's bedroom and slips the razor back into the bottom of the bag. 
He pulls the bag over his shoulder and heads downstairs quickly. He walks into the living room, head down, avoiding eye contact with the 4 other boys in the room. 
"Ok, awesome, let's go." Louis announces, heading out the door, not acknowledging anything wrong with Zayn. Harry and Niall hang back for a second to see if something's wrong, but Liam waves them on. 
Zayn moves to follow them, but Liam grabs his hand lightly. Zayn flinches at the movement, not meaning too, but he sees the hurt in Liam's eyes. 
"Zayn, can we please talk about this? I need to explain." Liam whispers, pleading, but Zayn just shakes him off. 
"You don't have to. It's fine." Zayn says, staring at the floor now, avoiding Liam's eyes. Zayn moves towards the front door, and he feels Liam follow him. 
Niall, Louis, and Harry are already piled into the back of Liam's car, so Zayn slides into the passenger seat. Liam gets into the driver's seat and throws the car into drive, pulling out of the driveway and heading towards school. 
The silence in the car is heavy.