Chapter 48

                                    

                                          
DAY
[Dorian and Emma are sitting at table near water, Having picnic date.]
Dorian: All right. To you. A week off. And a break from monster-related business.
"Why are we watching his date?" Asked Klaus.
Emma: Hear, hear. And... [Emma sees bug and screams. Dorian kills it.]
Emma: (gasps) Oh! I detest creepy crawlies.
"Same." Said Caroline.
Dorian: (Laughs) You had a mind-control slug in your brain, but a beetle freaks you out.
Emma: It's a childhood fear.
Dorian: So, have you decided if you're gonna come to the mountains with me for spring break?
Emma: Does it look like I know how to pitch a tent?
Dorian: No, it does not, Miss "High Heels at a Picnic." [Emma laughs.]
Dorian: Which is why I booked us at an inn. Because, you know, psychologically speaking, you wouldn't have worn those shoes if you didn't like me a little.
[Emma laughs and is about to kiss Dorian, but sees lot of cralies everywhere and screams.]
"Let me guess. Another creature." Said Hayley. 
"Yep." Said Hope and Audrey.
Dorian: Let's get out of here, come on, come on. Okay... all right...
SALVATORE SCHOOL-AUDREY AND HOPE'S DORM-DAY
[Audrey is talking on phone with Aunt Barbie💅(Rebekah)]
"Aunt barbie?" Chuckled Elijah.
"Suits her." Shrugged Audrey.
Audrey: Yes, we are okay, Aunt Bex. How are you?
Rebekah: Good. Me and Marcel came back to New Orleans.
"Where were we?" Asked Marcel.
"Spain." Said Hope.
Audrey: I know. Uncle Kol told me last night, but i didn't call, I thought you would be exhaused after flight.
Rebekah: Of course, he did. You two have always been attached to hip. Can you even go on without having your secret talks at least twice a day?
"Someone's jaelous." Said amused Kol.
Audrey: (amused) Is it jaelousy i hear in you voice, Aunt Bex?
Rebekah: (scoffs) As if i have anything to be jaelous of him. [Audrey laughs.]
Kol: (yells) Yes, you have. I'm her favourite! [Audrey chuckles.]
"Damn right, I am!" Said Kol
 Audrey chuckles.
Rebekah: Stop listening on my conversation, arsehole! [Rebekah throws her heel at Kol. Audrey smiles fondly.]
Klaus and Elijah shake their heads at them, amused by their little siblings antics.
Kol: Missed me! [Rebekah throws another heel at him.]
Kol: Missed again!
Rebekah: Give me my shoes back! [Audrey bursts out laughing.]
Audrey: I missed you all so much!
Kol smiles at her.
Rebekah: You should come for spring break then.
Audrey: I'll talk to Hope.
Rebekah: (sadly) Oh. Okay.
"I'm sorry." Said Hope.
Audrey: Don't look gloom. We will come. Even if i have tie Hope up and lock her in the trunk. [Kol chuckles.]
Hope glares at Audrey, who gives her innocent smile.
Rebekah: I would rather if you didn't kidnapp your sister, but... i would be happy if you conviced her to come.
Audrey: I will. Don't worry.
Kol: About that thing you told me few days ago. Is there any news?
"About urn being missing?" Asked Freya.
"Yep." Said Audrey.
Audrey: Nope. I'll tell you if there will be.
Rebekah: What thing?
Audrey: Nothing. We are just creating new spell.
"Fast thinking." Said Kol.
"I could do better." Said Audrey.
Kol: Yes. I wanted to know if she figured out the way to make it work.
"Not believable." Said Davina.
Rebekah: (looks at Kol and Audreys suspiciously) Okay.
Audrey: Okay then. Bye. Love you both. I'll see you in few days.
SALVATORE SCHOOL-ALARIC'S OFFICE- DAY
[Dorian enters Alaric's office. He is wearing diving equipment.]
Dorian: I couldn't find it.
"Looking for urn?" Asked Stefan.
"Hmm." Hummed Hope.
Alaric: 'Cause it's not there.
Dorian: Then why have I done five dives looking for it?
Alaric: I didn't figure it out till now.
Dorian: When's the last time you slept?
Alaric: Oh, man, I will get some sleep when we find this damn urn.
"Fresh mind can come up with better ideas." Said Caroline.
Dorian: Look, you've got to stop beating yourself up about this. I mean, yes, throwing an extremely dangerous magical artifact into the river was pretty stupid.
Alaric: Yeah.
"It's not like you had choice." Said Damon.
Dorian: But the slug made you do it.
Alaric: Slug or not, I am responsible for the things I do, and I have very likely unleashed a new monster on the humans that live outside the gates of the school, so I need to clean up this mess. [Alaric shows Dorian a map.]
Alaric: Look, I've been searching for things outside the ordinary. Sandstorms, locusts, scorpions... and then all of a sudden, this attack that happened to you. Dorian, these are mini plagues. 
"What do you think? What creature is causing all this?" Asked Hayley. 
"I don't know." Said Elijah.
Dorian: The river must've swept the urn downstream. And these plagues are a harbinger of whatever monster's come for it.
Alaric: Mm-hmm.
Dorian: Ten bucks I know what it is.
Alaric: I'm way ahead of you. Now, if my theory is correct, the urn is here. [Alaric points at map.]
Alaric: It's a man-made reservoir. 
Dorian: A dam. Which would have trapped the urn.
Alaric: Exactly. So pack your flippers, Dorian. We're going on a road trip.
Dorian: But I was supposed to... skip my mountain getaway with Emma and help you fight evil.
"Ooh. Awkward." Said Damon.
Alaric: Hey, listen, man, I'm really sorry to harsh your romantic weekend.
Dorian: (Sighs) Don't worry about it. I'll just invite her to come with us.
Alaric: (forced smile) Sure.
SALVATORE SCHOOL-DAY
Kaleb: You want me to go where?
Alaric: Maple Hollows. It'll be fun. You're the one who didn't want to go home for spring break.
"He's trying to get mediator." Said amused Marcel.
Kaleb: That's 'cause my family's crazy, man. It's the same thing every year. A barbecue, a game of spades, and then my uncle's throwing hands. Do you think I want to trade my family drama for yours?
Alaric: I think you want unsupervised time to feed on humans.
Kaleb: (laughs) Okay, so now we get to the real. You still don't trust me.
Alaric: Right now? Not as far as I can throw you. Look, MG doesn't need any negative influences while I'm gone. So come with me. All you have to do is follow my rules.
Kaleb: There's rules now?
Alaric:  Yeah, they're simple. No using vampire powers... and absolutely... no using vampire powers.
Audrey snorts.
Kaleb: Look, I do this, you'll get off my back?
Alaric: Nothing would make me happier.
Kaleb: (Sighs) All right. Whatever. But... if we're going to some Podunk town, you know, we can't roll up in that slick-ass Salvatore bus. We got to stay low-key.
Alaric: I'm one step ahead of you. 
ALARIC'S VAN-DAY
[Alaric is driving car. Kaleb is sitting in passengers sit.]
Kaleb: Dr. Saltzman, this van is very... white of you.
Marcel snorts.
Alaric: It's retro.
Lizzie: It's a gas-guzzling atrocity on wheels. [We see Dorian, Emma, Lela and Jed sitting in the back. In the sits in front of them are sitting Josie, Audrey, Hope and Lizzie.]
"Whole Salvatore school is going?" Said Damon.
"Jed wanted to fight creatures with us and the most of the students went on spring break, so Lela didn't want to stay in school and her aunt was busy." Explained Audrey.
Hope: (sighs) I brought snacks.
Audrey: So did i.
Lizzie:  Oh, sweet. Did you pack them before or after you decided to FOMO your way onto our trip?
Hope: Like I'm gonna let you guys chase Malivore creatures without me?
Lela: Technically, all of us forced our way into the van.
Audrey&Jed: Confirmed. [Audrey gives Lela and Jed her snacks.]
Lela: Thanks. [Audrey and Hope share Hope's.]
Lizzie: (to Hope) I would've thought you wanted to spend the break canoodling with your hipster boyfriend.
"I will never understand why you are dating that thing." Said Klaus. Hope and Audrey look at Klaus amused.
Hope: Sorry for wanting to protect the outside world from my mistakes.
Audrey: (confused) What mistakes? If Malivore want to cause apocalypse it's his own fault, not yours or mine.
"Audrey's right." Agreed Freya.
Hope: You know, there's currently an urn on a river cruise spreading plagues across America because I thought a unicorn was cute. It's called accountability. (To Lizzie) Maybe there's a bracelet for it.
Some laugh. Caroline glares.
"Go Hope!" Cheered Kol. Hope smiled at him.
Jed: (amused) Buuurn!
Lizzie: Or maybe you just wanted to ruin yet another Saltzman spring break.
Hope: When have I ever ruined a spring break?
Alaric: Girls? We're gonna be in this classic automobile for six hours, all right? So, no bickering.
Audrey: Then teach your daughter manners and when to shut her mouth. It would be great job for whole human kind. Definetly greater than anything you have ever achieved. [Jed snorts.]
"I live for Alaric bashing." Said Davina. Audrey grinned.
Alaric: Audrey!
Lizzie: You--
Audrey: (interrups) You sure you want to challege me, Saltzman? I'm not my sister. I eat girls like you on breakfast.
"Kinky" Said Kol. Audrey roll her eyes fondly.
Jed: Kinky! [Audrey throws food at Jed.]
Audrey: You know what i meant! 
Hope: It would help if it wasn't a thousand degrees in here. I'm burning up.
Lizzie: You're burning up? Now, that's ironic. 
Hope: What does that even mean?
Lizzie: Don't play dumb. I see you. I see right through you.
Hope: I don't know what you're talking about.
Lela: What happened to playing nice?
Lizzie: Over. Done. I'm getting back to me. I am who I am. Right, Josie? [Audrey and Hope share annoyed look.]
Lizzie: Josie? [Josie takes out headphones.]
Josie: Sorry?
Lizzie: Josie, you cannot leave me alone with just them for company.
Josie: Well, I get carsick if I don't listen to music. [Josie tries to put headphnoes back, but Lizzie stops her.]
Lizzie: Josie! [Lizzie and Josie start arguing and since Hope and Audrey are sitting in middle they get involved, too.]
"This trip gives me PTSD." Said Audrey. Hope chuckles.
Alaric: Girls! [Arguing continues.]
Jed: This is so fun. 
Lela: Mhm. [Jed and Lela are eating chips and enjoying the show.]
"I love Jed and Lela." Said Kol.
"They love you, too." Said Audrey.
"I know them?" Asked Kol.
"Duuuh. You know my whole pack." Said Audrey.
"I get how Rebekah felt." Muttered Freya.
"You know them, too. I introduced them to all of you." Said Audrey.
Alaric: Girls, there is no reason to be tense or awkward, okay? Now knock it off. We're gonna get through this together. God help us all.
"They will need that." Said Caroline.
Audrey: Amen or whatever.
Kaleb: Woot. Road trip.
ALARIC'S VAN-DAY-LATER
[Alaric has music on.]
Hope: I'm boiling.
Lizzie: I'm freezing.
Audrey: Worst road trip ever. [Lizzie turns to Hope with smirk and hits her in the arm.]
Lizzie: Punch buggy.
Dorian: Okay, sandwiches. [Dorian gives sandwitches to everyone.]
Alaric: I'll do a sandwich.
Lizzie: Dad, did you only pack meat? [Alaric is given sandwich.]
Alaric: Thank you.
Kaleb: J-Just baloney?
Alaric: I told you, it's meat. [Lizzie hits Hope on arm again.]
Lizzie: Punch buggy, no returns.
"Why is she doing that if not just to start fight." Said annoyed Hayley.
Alaric: (singing along with radio)  bottles of beer on the wall
bottles of beer
Josie: I think I'm... [Josie takes the bag and retches. Others start making disgusted faces and yelling.]
Audrey: Bloody fucking hell! I hate this trip! 
"The worst six hours of my life." Said Audrey.
"You are so dramatic." Said Hope.
"I'm not dramatic. I was forced to spend six hours locked in small space with Saltzmans." Said Audrey.
Alaric: Get it in the bag!
ALARIC'S VAN-DAY-LATER
Lizzie: Are we there yet? [Josie retches again. Audrey, Hope and Lizzie start yelling again.]
"Your faces are so funny." Laughed Kol.
Alaric: Oh, Lord! In the bag, sweetheart.
ALARIC'S VAN-DAY-LATER
Lizzie: Are we there yet? [Hope has her head placed on Audrey's shoulder, Audrey has her head on Hope's and they are sleeping.]
Mikaelsons smile at Mikaelson twins.
[Emma checks the map.]
Alaric: I'm not lost.
ALARIC'S VAN-DAY-LATER
Alaric: (sings along with radio) bottles of beer on the wall
bottles of beer
You take one down, you pass it around 
bottles of beer on the wall 
"He has terrible voice." Said Kol.
Alaric: Oh, yeah. Keep up, guys. [Others are singing along, while Kaleb and Audrey look done with life.]
"You look like you have been through hell." Chuckled Freya.
"I did." Said Audrey.
ALARIC'S VAN-DAY-LATER
[Josie is playing on guitar and singing.]
Josie:  My heart brought a little song for you 
So won't you take a listen and dance with me to the rhythm? [She is placing guitar down and nudges Kaleb's seat, while doing it.]
Kaleb: Whoa, could you not?
Josie: I'm sorry.
ALARIC'S VAN-DAY-LATER
Lizzie: (disperatly) We there yet?
Alaric: Yes! [We see they passed the sign. Alaric stops the car.]
"Finally!" Said Damon and Kol.