It was the day after my 18th birthday, of all days.
I hadn't seen the two of them for months, nearly a year. It's my birthday, I thought, my 18th. I should visit my parents. That's what people do on birthdays, visit relatives, spend time with family. What harm can one dinner do?
'So how is school going, Maya?' My mum asks, as always.
'It's pretty good. We've finished all the content now, it's just revising and practising for exams from here.' I answer, on autopilot.
'And you'll be staying in school for study leave?'
Here we go.
'Not exactly, no.'
'What does "not exactly" mean?'
'Well, I'm actually flying straight from here to Sakhir. The first round of the season starts in a couple of days.'
My parents look at each other, confusion written across their faces.
'My racing.' I clarify. My mum snaps her head around sharply.
'You're not serious, Maya.' She says, incredulously, 'You can't have time off school at this crucial point in the year.'
'Well, I have to, really.' I argue, 'I've got a good chance of winning races this year. I might even be able to secure a move up...'
'I can't believe you would prioritise winning races over your studies!' My mum cuts me off sharply, 'These exams should be the most important thing for you now. They are what will get you to uni and uni is what will get you a career.'
'But I already have a career!' I shout back, 'My career is in racing. That is where my priorities are!'
'Racing! A career! What progression is there in racing? What money is there in racing? How do you expect to live on a driver's salary?'
Her ignorance makes my skin burn and my fists clench.
'What progression is there?' I try to explain, 'Mum, if I do well in this season, I could get a move up to F1! I could be racing against the best in the world! I could be representing women in motorsport! There are literally millions of pounds up for grabs! You'd know all of this if you bothered to take the slightest bit of interest in what I do.'
'Millions of pounds for the successful ones.' She counters, 'You really expect me to believe that you will get up into that bracket?'
'I'm already up there!' I scream, 'I've been up there for years! You just couldn't give a fuck less about me, so you haven't bothered to watch me get there!'
'Per favore, non gridare a tua madre, Maya.' My dad cuts in softly, Please don't shout at your mother, Maya.
'E tu non sei migliore di lei!' And you're no better than she is, I round on him. 'Rimani in silenzio mentre lei mi aggredisce, ancora e ancora e ancora,' You stay quiet while she attacks me, again and again and again.
'Vogliamo solo il meglio per voi.' We only want the best for you.
'No!' I slam my hand down on the table, 'You want what you think is best for me. That's not the same thing! I have an opportunity to make a living, be successful, at something that brings me happiness, but you can't - won't - be happy for me because it wasn't what you wanted me to do with my life! Now, I'm grateful for every opportunity you've given me, everything you've paid for, every door your money opened for me. But I'm not going to let you now slam those doors in my face!'
'We paid for you to have a hobby, Maya!' My mum yells over me, 'This racing thing was only ever supposed to be a past-time! Your main aspiration has always been academics, a career, real passions and goals! You have to give up this stupid game now!'
'Well I'm very very sorry, but you wholly misjudged me!' I stand up from the table, leaving my meal unfinished, 'I'm not the person you thought I was, and I won't give up racing for you, no matter what you do. I'm an adult now, you have no legal control over me or obligation to me.'
'Maya, Siediti, per favore,' my dad tries. I ignore him.
'Fine then,' my mum gets up too, waving her hands at me, 'Go! Go race, if it means that much to you! But if you walk out that door you won't be getting anything else from us. The money will stop, schooling will stop...'
I cross to the door before she's even finished speaking.
'...You won't have any communication with us. If you call, we won't pick up. Is that what you want? Think about it carefully, Maya, because if you walk out that door you won't ever be allowed back!'
On that I turn back towards them, taking one last look around the room before staring my mum straight in the eyes. I pronounce each word clearly and slowly.
'Thank fuck.'
I slam the door behind me.
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Note: Hey! A little insight into Maya's childhood there. There'll be other bits and pieces through the story too. I think I have her general character pretty well set up now, so I'll dive back into the story next xx
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