Hanni
Kim Minji.
In many eyes she was considered a creation of the devil, weird, or a threat to every girl in the school. I knew that staying far away from her was the right thing to do, as I wouldn't be associating myself with anything that was influenced by the devil.
But how could anyone hate and discriminate such an innocent heart who's trying to fit in a society that's turning their backs on her.
It wasn't her fault that she was born with an unwanted condition, or that the condition influenced her decision making of who to fall in love with.
In my eyes, she was sweet, gentle, kind hearted, soft spoken, and genuine. She had a smile that could brighten anyone's day. A part of me doesn't really understand what this feeling towards her is, but a part of me knew it was wrong, very wrong.
"Hey, Minji." I said as I sat next to her on the bench, her eyes focused on the painting that reflected her broken soul. "Hi, Han." She greeted back as she gave me a slight glance and went back to her painting.
"How's your day so far?" I asked as I leaned a bit closer, trying to get a better look at the painting. And Minji without second thought, stopped what she was doing and gave me the painting.
"It's alright, I got yelled at by Ms. Park for the project, that I did do and presented to the class." She said, I could hear it in her voice that it upset her.
And she was right to feel that way, it's so unfair how teachers at our Christian school treated her so unreasonably. Like come on, she's only a girl who's trying to be something in life.
"I'm sorry." Was all I said as I looked at her painting, I could feel her eyes on me and it made me a little nervous. Sometimes I couldn't read her like I would others.
"You're the only nice person to me, Hanni." She said and there was this hint of sadness in her voice that had slightly broke my heart.
I may follow the teachings of the Bible line by line, but it never meant that it would blind my judgment of someone. Minji was amazing, and someone who follows the Bible line by line like I did.
I turned to look at her, her eyes looking back at me with gratitude. I'm her only friend, the only person besides her parents who she can rely on, it shatters me knowing how alone she probably felt before me in her life.
"Minji, we've been through this conversation before. In my eyes you're just a human being like me, and you don't deserve being treated the way you are, no one does besides those who commit a sin, like murdering one of their own should be treated that way. For them to be treated like monsters to what we call our society." I said, her eyes looked away from me, drifting back down to the painting.
Minji's a good friend, better than any other friend I've ever had, she's honest, and a very good person.
"Yeah, but I'm a sin, Han. What would happen if your parents find out that you're friends with me? That would destroy them and take you away from me. I'm nothing without you." It was something in the way she said the last part that made my heart do a little skip.
"You're no sin to me, Min. What even makes you a sin? The fact that you like your same gender? Or because you were born with a different body part? Or maybe both things at once? I accept you for who you are, Min. And that's the truth." I said.
And by the looks of it, Minji needed to hear that from me.
Sometimes I thank the lord that no one comes to my secret place with Minji, which was in the backyard where it felt like a small paradise just for us both with the water fountain in the center, along with the birds and flowers surrounding us. The beautiful green grass that shinned with life all around us.
It was our little escape from the world and the people who dared to make assumptions of Minji and her intentions on me. Minji is better than them anyway. How could they possibly think that Minji wants to take advantage of me? She would never.
Minji isn't a monster, unlike them for having those awful thoughts in mind.
Minji only let out a faint smile as she looked away from me completely and looked up at the sky, like she always did when she felt conflicted. But she looked so pretty doing it.
I gently placed the painting beside me on the bench and scooted closer to her. Carefully, I leaned my head over until it was placed on her broad shoulder.
Minji only placed her head above mine, letting the comfortable silence and scenery take over us.
I will never be able to explain what it is that my heart feels when Minji is around me. We both say we're friends but what are these unspoken feelings inside my chest for? Why did they feel so wrong? Why were they bigger than my values and morals? Why did they hurt this way?
I had so many questions, but none could be answered, at least not now.
Being close to her like this brought me that intimate connection that I craved so much to have with a romantic partner and that scared me. I could feel that sinking feeling in my chest once again as I thought of what my feelings towards Minji meant.
And just how much damage they could cause to me, her, our family's, and to the views on us.
"We should probably head back now, lunch will be over soon." Minji said causing me to snap out of my thoughts. I lifted my head to see that distant look in her brown eyes as she looked at me.
I stared at her, her beauty being so breathtaking. She's beautiful and people fail to see that, and I'm proud to say that I'm the only one who does. Even she herself doesn't see it.
"Why do you always look at me like that? I'm nothing special." And at that moment, I really wished I could smack her. "Shush, you are special." I said as I gave her a playful glare.
Minji didn't say anything more as she grabbed her painting, not realizing how close it made us be. Her closeness making my breath halt. I could feel her body warmth radiating from her and surrounding me with a warning flash.
I could feel her looking at me, her eyes glued on me. And the feeling inside me was consuming me as I looked in to her brown orbs that reflected the same feelings I felt.
She gave me a shy smile as she backed up. Oh god. Maybe there wasn't much thinking to what it was that my heart was feeling for Minji. What would be the odd that Minji feels the same?
Maybe I'm going above my head for thinking that, but am I wrong? And if she did, it would change everything completely. For the best or for the worst. And at times I didn't know what to think.
Despite my fears of committing a single mistake, the feelings inside my chest that seemed to burn in flames were stronger. They overwrite my morals that I've learned since I was just a little girl.
I looked over at Minji, who now had one of her hands extended as she stood waiting for me to grab it. "Let's go to lunch, or else we won't be able to grab anything and you'll be hangry for the rest of the day." She said with a slight teasing smile, I could only smile back at her as without a second thought I grabbed her hand and let her aid me to stand up.
She was going to let go of my hand but before she did, I tugged on it and pulled her towards me. Letting my head bump against her chest as one of my arms wrapped around her waist and gave her a hug. Minji slowly but eventually wrapped her arms around me and I could feel myself melting in her arms.
She was my safe place, and I was hers.
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