He pulled her close once she recovered. They didn't even bother to put on clothes, he hugged her and she gladly accepted. They were silent for a while, but her breathing was a warning to him that she wasn't sleeping. He was debating whether he should ask or wait for her to open up, it didn't take much when she spoke.
- I am fine. In truth. - She leans on her elbow to look at him and pulls the blanket to cover herself when the cold of the room begins to hit her naked body. - She can't get to me so easily, not anymore. - She smiles at him and kisses him. - But I won't deny that her words about Hank left me thinking, I don't want to believe it, because I know she's manipulative, but I have so many questions.
- We can do a DNA test.
- Jay... - she says in an angrier tone. - I don't want you to do that.
- And I want you to have the answers to your questions. I can't stand you torturing yourself for not knowing, much less being mistaken.
- Maybe I prefer to be deceived.
- But it shouldn't.
- Let's not start. - She walks away from him irritated.
- Actually, I think we should. Erin, if you have doubts you shouldn't be left in the dark wondering if it can or can't be.
- Maybe I don't want to know. I don't want to because there is a possibility that my life would have been different, that the only person I trusted my entire life could have deceived me, I don't know if I could handle that Jay, can you understand me?
- I can, but I still don't agree. Erin, are you going to live with this doubt?
- Why do you want to know so much? You always insist on going against my wishes...
- This is not true.
- No? When Jimmy showed up, I said I didn't want you to check his finances and you did, I told you not to do the DNA and you did, so what if I want to close my eyes? What if I don't want to know? -she says, raising her voice a little, frustration and irritation clear in her tone and Jay wasn't far away.
- Because I love you, I can't stand to sit by and watch the people you should be able to count and trust lying to you, you don't deserve to be deceived Erin. It's better for you to know whether or not he's your father than to live a lie any longer.
- What difference would it make? What's done is done, I'm not going to go back in time and have a better life just because I discovered this. Quite the contrary, if he was really my biological father, I don't know if I would be able to forgive him, so the only difference it would make was that I would lose him.
- So you prefer to live a lie, wondering if he is or not? - Jay questions.
- I don't fucking know, I don't know. - she says and passes her hand over her face holding back the tears and Jay takes a deep breath.
...
After a week and a half, she had an idea, walked out of her office and looked at her team. They had just finished a big case they had caught, she smiled at them.
- Do you know what I realized in the almost five months that I've been here? - Lindsay draws their attention as they were focused on paperwork. They look, not knowing if they should respond or where she was getting at, but they all watch her, believing that she would continue anyway. - You are so boring, we are so boring. We work together every day, sometimes we take on heavy cases and at the end of the day we each go home, not even asking ourselves how the other is doing, unless he was almost shot. Furthermore, I watch you from the office and you are always focused on work, even when you have nothing to do. The team I remember used to have a marble tournament, tease each other by arranging a fight outside the district or some kind of joke. We are a family, I don't see invitations to Molly's, to games, to the gym or whatever and if we are going to work together we have to be a family.