I looked around the airport, still in my car. Julia sat in the passenger seat. "What does she look like?" Julia said as she looked around, despite not knowing her.
I struggled to look through everybody as I answered her. "She has blonde hair that goes down to her chest. Her hair is always in front of her shoulders. She's a little taller than you." I glanced at her as I said it before continuing. "And she has a red purse." I smiled as I thought about it. "She got it at an auction that she brought me to when I was younger. She loved it."
Julia just about jumped out of her seat. "Is that her?" She pointed to someone in the crowd.
I craned my neck to see who she was pointing at before my eyes widened. Right then, I felt a flutter in my heart. It had been so long since I had seen the woman who had raised me. I rolled Julia's window down. "Mom! Over here!"
Helen turned her head in the car's direction. She took a second to find us, however, eventually her eyes lit up as they fell on the car. She struggled with her two large suitcases. Before I knew it, I was jumping out of the car and walking around it to get to Helen.
"Oh, James! You've gotten so big!" Helen let go of her bags, letting one of them fall over, as she opened her arms, welcoming me into a hug. It had been so long.
I wrapped my arms around her and lifted her, gave her a little spin, and then put her back down. She used to do it to me all the time. Helen laughed as I smiled at her. I was surprised to realize that I was already taller than her. "It's been a while, Mom!" She always loved hearing me call her mom. I eventually stopped addressing my biological mother altogether. If I had to talk about her, I would say, "Mother."
Helen brought her hands up to my face to cup my cheeks as she looked up at me. Tears showed in her eyes. "It's been almost 25 years, James."
My eyes widened when she said it. "It can't have been." I did the math in my head. "You're a few years off, mom." I leaned down and kissed her on the cheek before leaning down further and grabbing her bags.
I made my way back to the car, where Julia watched the reunion. I put the bags in the trunk of my car and opened the back door for Helen. I closed the door when she got in and then got in on the other side, behind the wheel.
If I'm being honest, I'm glad that it's been a long time since I've seen them. Not because I have anything against Helen, because I don't. My father was just always on my ass about absolutely everything. Thankfully, when I turned 18, he wanted nothing to do with me and ditched me in Florida as fast as possible. I was lucky that I was already dependant on my own money.
I watched Helen in the rearview mirror as she spoke. She was introducing herself to Julia and telling her all sorts of things that, if I'm being honest, she did not need to know.
Even so, when I looked at Helen, all I could think of was my father. Hell, I love Helen, I do. She was always more of a mother than anyone. Except maybe I wasn't completely over it after all.
_____
I can still remember how it felt. I still remember the fear. I can still see Helen trying to stop him. But even through all of the memories, there is one specific moment that I remember the most.
I cowered in the corner, Norman right next to me. It was the night of his birthday, the first and only time that he had ever visited. Our father was in a bad mood. I guess that's an understatement. He was always in a bad mood, yet this time was excessive.
"Come on, Tae! Calm down, please!" I could hear Helen pleading for him to calm down. To put the baseball bat down.
I always thought it was ironic. The fact that my father's name was Tae. Tae is a Korean name and means "A great Individual." He is anything but. The best name for him would be Dokkaebi. It fits more than anything.
I held onto my brother tight. He was leaning against my side, and I was covering his ears. Blood dripped from his forehead, covering my hands. I wondered at that moment how long someone can bleed from their head without it being life-threatening. I didn't want to know. If I knew, it meant there was a chance that he was about to die.
I could hear my father screaming at Helen. My heart pounded in my chest. I don't know how it started, but I woke up to the sound of my brother screaming. I knew I would get beaten horribly for it, nevertheless, I dragged him away from my father and ran. I was currently sitting in the bathroom with the door locked.
"Are we gonna die?" Norman asked, with large, pitiful eyes. Tears streamed down his cheeks. "I don't wanna die."
I shook my head. "We aren't gonna die. We're gonna be fine." I didn't quite believe it when I said it. I guess I was trying to convince myself as well. I held onto Norman tighter. He was so young. I mean, so was I, except he was even younger.
I could hear my father beating Helen at this point. I whimpered. I didn't want to go like this. His footsteps got louder. This time, I couldn't hear Helen. I heard the door knob jiggle. Norman and I were dead silent at this point. We stared at the door, waiting for him to bust in and kill us both. But eventually, he stopped. I could see the shadow at the bottom of the door. He was still there.
And then I heard crying. My father was crying. "I'm so sorry." His voice trembled and cracked. "I didn't want to be like this."
I felt tears fall from my eyes even more than before. Despite it all, I felt sympathy for him. Then I looked down at Norman and saw nothing except hatred. I wasn't completely surprised. I didn't blame him, yet the fact that he didn't show any sense of remorse for his father at such a young age didn't make sense to me. I would've let him walk all over me when I was his age. So, why didn't he feel that way?
_____
"James? Are you okay?" I felt Julia's hand on mine. Helen was sleeping in the guest bedroom (I know, I'm rich), and Julia was lying in my bed with me. Currently, it was about 11 PM.
I looked next to me at Julia. "Yeah, I'm fine. Why do you ask?" I didn't like lying to her, I just didn't want her to worry.
Julia sat up just slightly, holding herself up with her elbows. "You've seemed off ever since Helen got in the car."
I sighed and smiled at her sadly. "It's nothing. I've just been remembering something from my childhood. I'll be okay again tomorrow. Like nothing happened."
Julia smiled and leaned in to kiss me. I let the kiss linger, cupping her cheek, and leaning in more. I moved my hand from her cheek to her waist and pulled her closer to me.
Julia put her free hand on the back of my head, holding herself up with her other arm. I was careful not to touch Julia in any intimate spots. I didn't want to ruin the moment, especially not without her consent. I loved her too much for that.
I broke the kiss and smiled at Julia. "I love you." Every time I say it, I truly mean it. I think she might be the first person I have truly loved. I've dated people before, except I avoided saying it unless they said it first. But even then, I never meant it. Yet now, I do. I really do.
YOU ARE READING
I Am No Angel
Mystery / ThrillerThree years in an abusive relationship, just for Julia to move in right next to a seral killer, Norman. Talk about bad luck. Especially when she starts dating his brother and decides that she needs to keep it from him. But little does she know; Norm...