CONFESSION

                                    

                                          
"I swear I've never met anyone more stupid than you! You sacrificed your love for your brother and now you look lifeless because you miss your ex girlfriend who is now your brother's wife! What the heck of a daily soap this is! Idiot!"
Sush could clearly see the pain and suffering on his face and wanted to help him out in any way. She had arranged that meeting to let him speak out everything so his heart could feel lighter.
"Bygones are bygones! Ragini is happy with your brother. It's no revenge, no regrets for her now. She had moved on and it's high time you follow her steps too and forget your past with her. Stop making yourself suffer so much. Just look at yourself, you look like a corpse!"
Sid had been holding his cup of coffee for half an hour, without taking even a single sip. He continuously stared into his coffee and said nothing. Sush held his hand and demanded him to look at her. 
"Listen, I'm here for you! Just tell me everything, from the scratch. Let your heart out and express whatever you're feeling- grief, anger, regret, anything. Sid, trust me, everything's gonna be fine once you let it all out!"
Sid looked into Sush's eyes and confessed, "It's all my fault. My cowardice led to the current situation. Sush, I'm such a loser! I hate admitting it but, I messed it up. I don't even have the right to cry or repent. I'm a selfish jerk."
Sush still had her hand pressing Sid's to show him her will to listen and stay beside him. He finally had someone he could share his feelings with. He could sense genuine care and sympathy in Sush which he greatly appreciated. He decided to listen to her and squeeze out everything he had been feeling for the past month, even though he knew she would hate him after listening to his full story.
"It was not a sacrifice, it was an escape from my responsibilities. Rags thinks I sacrificed her for my brother, you think my love for my brother overcame my feelings for Rags, but that's not true. The truth is that I'm a coward who was not ready for any kind of responsibility," said Sid with tears falling down his cheeks. 
This confession by Sid was unexpected for Sush but she decided to listen to it all before responding in any way. She nodded and made it clear to Sid that she was all ears to him.
Sid continued, "When Rags told me about our marriage, I was perplexed. I knew I was not ready but her excitement, her enthusiasm made me feel that whatever was happening was good as we loved each other. The day she called me to inform about the misunderstanding," he paused and looked at Sush for approval to begin again and when Sush nodded, he continued, "I took a sigh of relief."
The moment the final words came out of Sid's lips, Sush stared at him in disbelief and let go of his hand. The look of disappointment was prominent on her face and Sid sensed it, however, she refrained from making any comments before he speaks out everything.
"I felt like a burden was lifted off of my head and I felt lighter. I'm ashamed to admit but I was happier to know that I was not being loaded with new responsibilities rather than sad to know that the love of my life was getting married to another man and that another man was none other than my own brother and that we'll live under the same roof forever after they tie the knot."
"I was in the escape mode where I forgot all of my love for her. She cried before me, she was ready to clear the misunderstanding, but I denied her my companionship. I betrayed her trust and made lame excuses because of my incompetence and selfish nature."
Sid concluded by saying, "I guess only my death could allow me to escape this guilt and shame."
What Ragini and Sush had assumed a sacrifice was actually an escape. Sush was speechless and her sympathy for Sid had totally vanished. Her mind was a whirlwind of millions of perplexities and questions. She had so much to ask yet nothing came out of her mouth as she had no idea as to how she should begin. 
After calming herself down by breathing properly for a few seconds, she asked, "You've been wearing this long face due to your guilty conscience?"
Sid shook his head and then said, "Because I love her and watching her with another man breaks my heart. Because I regret my foolish actions. Because... I miss her."
Sush glared at the tear drops on Sid's hands. She was annoyed and angry at him but a hint of care and sympathy was still there. She knew he regretted but his words made her despise him too. Sid had his head on the table while he cried his heart out and his sobs melted Sush's heart. She was a friend to both, Ragini and Sid. Ragini had gained her happiness and Sush assumed that it was Sid who needed her help right now. She believed that Ragini would agree with her. In fact Ragini herself had asked her to talk to Sid instead of her and let him know that she wanted him to forget about her and move on. 
Sush patted Sid's head and said, "Cry as much as you want today and let this suffering end for good."