XLV. Hollow

                                    

                                          
"Quicker, Alex. Come on. You can do better."
Ghost stands in front of me, hands held up as I throw my fists against the pads he's holding up. My knuckles feel bruised. Blue. Nearly bleeding. But I push myself further anyway. 
Ghost watches me closely, his eyes sharp behind his mask as he assesses my form. "Good. Keep it up," he encourages, his voice cutting through the sound of my heavy breathing.
I ignore his remarks, not caring so much for his validation, but rather to prove to myself that I'm still capable. 
But as my surroundings blur, and my heart starts pounding faster and faster, Ghost suddenly steps back, his eyes serious. He lowers the pads, his gaze flickering over to my bruised knuckles.
"That's enough for now," he says.
I glance down at my hands, the skin raw and tender from the repeated impact.
With a nod and a held in sigh, I take a step back, the adrenaline still coursing through my veins as I try to catch my breath. 
"Good work," Ace's voice comes from behind. "You're very quick. Really impressive, Alex."
I turn to her, seeing her sitting on the bench against the wall. I offer her a smile as I walk towards her, sitting down on the bench too. "Thanks." 
She smiles, and I can feel her eyes burning into the side of my face. "Are you doing okay?"
I sit back, letting my back hit the wall and feeling the bandages covering my wounds shift slightly. I've been doing okay, I think. My wounds are healing decently, and I've shifted my focus towards the upcoming mission. 
However, I know her question wasn't about that aspect, and my eyes quickly find their way to who she's asking me about. Soap finishes off his final set of heavy weighted squats, the sound of the barbell hitting the rack echoing through the gym. 
"Yeah," I say. "I'm doing fine. It's better this way."
"Is it?"
I glance over at Soap, his expression unreadable as he wipes sweat from his brow. 
"Yeah," I reply, the word feeling hollow on my tongue. "We shouldn't have started it in the first place. It was stupid. It would've never worked. I know that."
I don't look at her, but she doesn't answer immediately. "I appreciate your dedication to your job," she says after a little bit. "But I'm speaking from experience when I say that sometimes the best relationships aren't easy."
I turn to look at her, a half smile on my face. "It's different." 
She shrugs, the corners of her mouth raised and the apples of her cheeks with a slight blush. She looks so sweet, like she'd only ever want the best for everyone. Like she's so happy to just live. If it weren't for the fact that we have multiple killings on our hands, one might think she's the most innocent person alive. 
"Alex," Soap's voice pulls me out of my mind, and I turn to look at him. "You ready?"
"Yeah," I tell him before turning back to Ace. She's now looking at me with a knowing look, I immediately shake my head. "No. It's not like that."
"Hmmm," she mumbles, her smile growing even wider. "Johnny's been taking good care of you, hasn't he?"
"He has," I raise my brows, "and it's just that. Nothing more."
"Whatever," she dismissively waves her hand. "Let a girl dream, alright?"
I chuckle, shaking my head in disapproval this time. "Not happening," I mumble before getting up, leaving her sitting on the bench alone.