J: 12 Right?

                                    

                                          
JAMES POTTER
"Why do you do this to me?" 
For the last few hours, that one question has occupied all of my thoughts. In truth, I have no idea why I act the way that I do; all that I know is that he's never far from my mind. I even made an attempt to persuade myself that he must have mixed up a love potion and secretly added it to my drink.
Since three days from now is the final day before everyone heads back to their homes, the headmaster awarded points to each house in the great hall. Just outside of the courtyard where we usually hangout by the lake. 
As usual, Sirius expresses that Regulus doesn't ever stop talking about Snivellus and that even though Snivellus claims that they're not an item, he discovered that they bought matching wand handles at Hogsmeade together. Peter thinks that's romantic and adorable and even jokes that he might get a brother in law instead of a sister in law. Remus doesn't engage in their conversation, and nor do I, but I'm definitely listening.
I get nervous and apprehensive about the exchanges in Sirius's and Peter's jokes as I see Lily angrily storming out in the courtyard. I'm staring at Severus, studying his actions as he tries so hard to convince Lily to listen to him.
"There's your brother-in-law, Padfoot," Peter teases.
With a laugh, Sirius prods Peter to shut up.
"I get to be the best man," Remus remarks,
Waiting for me to join in the laughter, I angrily yelled out to Snivellus.
Without my instruction, they all yelled Snivellus in contation right away.
"Snivellus"
                     "Snivellus"
                                            "Snivellus"
I walk up to them, give Lily a friendly smile, and then use the Impediment Jinx to cause Severus to trip and fall, disarming him with Expelliarmus so that I can inspect the wand's handle.
The handle is etched with BLACK, with Slytherin's house colors. This infuriated me as I start to shake at the realization that he had been lying to me when he said that Regulus wasn't his type. Given that they share the same dorm room. 
Why do they have similar wand sleeve handles if they aren't boyfriends? 
                                             Has he been sucking his dick? 
                                                                   I require answers.
"Need me to wash that mouth of his, Evans?" I ask.
Lily says that nothing can make up for what he called her, tucking the side of her hair behind her left ear. I used Scourgify to give him a pink soap bubble mouth wash for calling Lily a Mudblood, and for sucking someone else's dick when he already has me.
Severus got up during Lily and our little conversation, retrieved his wand, and used Sectumsempra to sever my face. I was so angry that I cast Levicorpus, his signature spell, on him and turned him over so everyone could see his undies. My friends and I made fun of him as he was publicly humiliated and turned upside down as Lily joined in. 
                                            "Snivellus"
                      "Snivellus"
"Snivellus"
The chanting grew louder.
"Who's up for me removing Snivelly's pants?" I declare aloud.