The moon will sing a song for me

                                    

                                          
Johnnys pov
()
It's late and I'm at the lot. 
Yesterday me and pony hung out and we did today. 
We had a lot of fun but I cant get over him.
I need to.
I feel sick. 
It's for the greater good I keep telling myself.
Theres like a voice in my head saying
You love him and you know it. But you can't let go to the feeling because he kept you alive and gave you a reason to wake up. No matter how much you tell yourself your friendship is ruined because of your feelings. 
"Shit"  I said clutching my hair 
My breathing was heavy.
The voice is right.
No matter what I'll still love pony.
And I don't know how to make it stop.
It's like a river and I'm trying to build a dam. But the water is too strong. 
And I'm weak.
Pony's to good for me. He deserves better.
I got up and thought I'd walk around for a bit.
I'm walking down the road and kick the gravel under my feet causing it to scatter and hit the grass. 
My heart pounds in my chest.
Something's wrong.
My brain is in hyper mode and I'm just listening 
I hear a sound that makes me book it.
I don't know what got into me.
I just ran.
I ran back home.
Well the Curtis house.
I stopped before I got there though.
You're disgusting.
You're a disgrace and you know it. Your I love with your best friend.
You're crazy. 
You're gonna get killed.
You're dead Johnny. 
Johnny cade dead at 15 but no one cared. Cause no one ever cared about Johnny Cade. He was a nobody who was in love with his friend. 
I got dizzy and took steps back from the house 
"Johnny?" I hear a voice say.
It's soda
"What are you doing?" Hes outside with Steve. I hadn't noticed 
"Nothing.."
"Are you ok?"
"I'm fine"
"Johnny you better head inside.." 
"I'm fine."
"Johnny you don't look to good. Go to bed."
I nodded and headed inside. 
I couldn't stand to see pony.
I slept in the bathtub.
I opened my eyes. 
I was under water. I don't even see the surface.
The water is a deep teal.
I can't breathe.
There isn't a thing in sight.
Besides a pay phone.
I swam the best I could down to the pay phone
I rang pony
"Ponyboy! Where are you? Can you help me? I need you pony! I'm lost and there's water. I'm scared pony"
"Johnny- I can't help you. I can't even stand to look at you."
"Please pony. Help me."
"No johnny. I can't help you out of this one"
"please"
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"What?"
"Why didn't you tell me Johnny."
"I was scared"
"But your also scared right now arnt you?"
"What do you mean?"
"Your ok because your talking to me arnt you? Once I hang up... you're dead."
"Your point?"
"You don't live without me. Your life stops the second I hang up this phone. But you didn't tell me not to...
Hang up the phone." 
"Pony.."
"Good bye Johnny. It's for the greater good"
"Johnny?"
"Johnny?"
"Johnny! Why are you sleeping here?" 
My mind was foggy.
I'm drowning. 
I'm drowning with out telling pony.
"Pony?"
"Why are you sleeping in here?"
"I didn't wanna wake you up.." 
"Don't worry about that! Come to bed!"
"Ok, don't hang up."
"What?"
"Never mind."
"Ok.."
He grabbed my hand to help me up and we walked to the room.
He didn't let go.
He held my hand till we got to the room where he opened the door and realized he was holding my hand
"Sorry"
"It's alr"
"Your hand is warm"
"Yours is cold"
I laid down next to him 
It had been a few minutes and I was almost asleep.
He turned around to face me and wrapped his arms around my waist. 
I don't think he knew what he was doing in the moment again.
He snuggled his face into my collar bone causing me to turn a very red.
He slid his arm out from the side facing up.
And grabbed my arm from my side and grabbed my hand.
He interlocked his fingers in mine and squeezed my hand 
He took a deep breath and it sent shivers down my spine.
"My bad" he said 
HES AWAKE? 
My eyes opened and I turned so red it was insane 
HES AWAKE? THIS INTIRE TIME
HE 
HAS
BEEN
AWAKEEE
HES DOING THIS ALL WAKE?
ITS LIKE HE KNOWS AND IS MESSING WITH ME
"Ur good" I said 
"Are you ok?" He asked
"Yeah I'm good."
"Alright go to bed would ya?"
I put my feelings and thoughts aside and fell asleep.
()
A/n
Like ik it's been 15 hours but I CANT WAITT 
THE NEXT FEW CHAPTERS MAKE ME SO HAPPY. I CANT WAIT FOR YALL TO READ THEM
Stay safe and don't get arrested 🫶