Dirty

                                    

                                          
TW: MENTIONS OF SA AND ABUSE
As we made our way back into the bedroom, Taehyung stopped me before I could even think of sitting on the bed. "Wait," he said, his tone firm. I turned to him, puzzled by his sudden interruption.
"You're still dirty," he pointed out, gesturing to the dirt and grime that clung to my clothes. "what's with your obsession with keeping the bed clean?" I furrowed my brows at him. 
"It's called basic cleanliness." He rolled his eyes. He then paused and stared at me intently. "Did you dress your wound today?"
 I sighed, feeling a mixture of embarrassment and annoyance. "I thought you were going to do it for me," I muttered, feeling like a child being scolded by a parent. Taehyung shook his head, his expression showing disapproval. "you're so irresponsible," he scolded. I rolled my eyes at him and made my way to the bathroom, "fine I'll do it myself."  He followed after me, "I never said I wasn't going to do it for you." He chuckled leaning against the door frame.
I turned around to face him, "Can you please leave the bathroom? I want to take a shower." I asked my voice low and almost pleading. He stared at me intently before backing away and closing the door behind him. "Call me when you're done." 
I stood under the shower letting the water droplets cascade on my body. There was something off about me- there was this feeling deep in the pit of my stomach that made me feel physically sick. I knew this feeling- I was scared. After so many years away from them, I found my way right back to the life I tried so hard to escape from. 
Stepping out of the shower, I wrapped myself in a towel and stood in front of the mirror trying to avoid making eye contact with myself. I took out the first aid kit and released the towel. Taking the previous dressing off the wound caused me to wince in pain. Taehyung hearing me groan in pain burst into the bathroom and I quickly covered myself up with the towel. He sighed came over to me and lifted me onto the sink, I flinched under his touch, earning a weird look from him. "Didn't I tell you to call me when you were done?" He scolded as he tried to remove the towel but I held it tightly. "No, it's fine I can do it." Taehyung tried to remove the towel again but I held it even tighter, "I will do it myself."  He directed his gaze towards my face. He had concern and annoyance etched into his expression. "Are you going to let me help you or not?" he asked impatiently, his tone laced with frustration. "I don't understand why you're being so difficult about this."
"I just... I don't want you to see me like this," I mumbled, my voice barely above a whisper as I avoided his gaze.
Taehyung scoffed, his arrogance shining through as he rolled his eyes. "You do realize that I've seen you naked plenty of times before, right?" he said with a hint of annoyance. "It's not like I'm going to be shocked by what I see."
His words cut through me like a knife, a reminder of the countless times I had been vulnerable with him. But this time was different- I was waking up from my slumber, and I couldn't  possibly let a man stare at my body. The wound I had ran deeper than any physical injury, and I couldn't bear the thought of him seeing me so vulnerable to him.
"I know, but..." I trailed off, the words catching in my throat as I struggled to find the right words to explain. "It's just... I don't feel comfortable, okay? Can't you just respect that?"
Taehyung sighed, "I will respect that but I can't let you treat your wound poorly." He tried to reason with me and paused to think before speaking, "I promise I will not stare at your body and you can trace patterns over my tattoos," he suggested softly, his voice breaking the silence between us. I stared at him with widened eyes as he took his shirt off.
He lifted my hand and placed it on his abs, and for the first time, I wasn't focused on his abs. I marvelled at his tattoos. He had a full sleeve that extended to his chest and singular tattoos on his torso. There was a tree of what seemed to be a sakura tree. It had black petals that were falling from the tree. As each petal got lower, it transformed into a drop of blood. I was so immersed and intrigued by his tattoos that I did not feel Taehyung using the antiseptic on my wound.