Crackfic: Fever dreams.

                                    

                                          
Name: Fever dreams/ Smoking crack with Jesus.
Requested by: BatteryRoach
Note: Happy birthday, Roach! Here's the crackfic you requested. (It acedentally became a real crack fic.. Im partially high) I really hope I don't forget to post this on 2 May. Enjoy your birthday present!
Warning: As you saw from the title, Jesus will be used.. in a.. odd way. Just like god.. and also Iruma will be a hippy. Also theres drug use, smoke use, and more that you'll see, a lot more.
I don't think very religious people will like this chapter. I doubt those people are in a demon fandom but still, you're warned.
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Just a few hours ago, I was fast asleep in my bed and now, what happened now again?
I turned to look at the gigantic statue of me built on the school grounds, standing there with pretty, fabulous rainbow painted nails, a blunt in my mouth and sunglasses on my face while I posed in a rock star pose. The faces of demons drawn under my statue were all snorting lines of coke and drinking Yeager meister. I prefer Heineken though.
Underneath the statue I could make out a few faces of people I knew, also stoned, in more ways than one because theire statues. I could vaguely tell Asmodeus's mother with whip, Kalego being roasted on a stick.. and is that Jesus Christ? And why is the guardian of CutThroatValley kissing a gigantic dinosaur plushie that looks vaguely like Kiriwo? I looked at it, confused, my head still spinning wildly. 
"What the hell happened Yesterday?!"
While asking that, my grandpa, who I didn't know was standing behind me, layed his hand on my shoulder. I looked around, flinching as I saw both my parents standing there. "You're going back home." He said with a stern look on his face.
"Wait what?!" I screamed out.
Seriously what happened?! Lets go back to when I woke up ya? Ya?! WHY AM I SAYING YA?! Gosh.. anyways, lets go back a day, because I have no idea what happened at all!
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A day before.
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I slowly woke up from my sheets, feeling, new, refurbished, like I had a good sleep. However, little did I know something was very, very wrong. I'd have become a hippy overnight! 
I gladly strolled out of bed, stretching and doing yoga while singing songs, smiling. I was almost a true angel that day, because when I decided to stop meditating and brushed my teeth, I looked in the mirror, seeing something utterly bizarre. I could almost make out two pairs of little wings attached to my back!
While watching myself in the mirror, I wanted to change back into my usual self, before not giving a crap and dressing up in the most green outfit I could find. Blue was so depressing after all, but green is the colour of life! Of happyness! Of the leaves and all that is good! Oh, what am I thinking.. the colour blue is splendid too! Its the calm and quiet, the water and the wind. 
I shook my head and turned around. I wasn't feeling like myself at all, I was feeling filled, grand. It was weird, but weirdly comfortable, so I just moved on to the living room. I opened the doors, smiling widely. I waved nonchalantly, greeting the two of them and sat down onto the floor for my second dose of meditation. 
I could feel the chi entering my body, the bad karma's leaving the soul and I could smell a faint scent of soup! Soup? I immediately snapped out of my meditation. My god.. oh lord, Jesus! That devil has made me snap out of my meditation by tempting me with earthly delights! How could he? Well, I can't be mad, that goes against everything I stand for, peace above all!