The Feeling of Guilt (Outsiders SMP)

                                    

                                          
C!Owen is so fun the write, I'm sad I actually finished it-
Major spoilers for Owen's entire Outsiders POV
(Cross posted on my Ao3 account, Azzy_Wazzy)
Owen watched Apo's body land in the water with a splash, its blood painting the water a familiar crimson. The moment Owen finished disposing of Ap... no, the demon's body, he'd been overcome with a strange feeling that he couldn't identify. He instantly pushed it to the back of his mind, he didn't have time to focus on such mundane things, he had to plan on how to rid the Clearing of the three remaining demons that plagued it. 
Owen washed the blood from himself best he could, picked up his spear and made his way out of the god-forsaken maze. What should have been a peaceful and victorious march back to the Clearing was plagued with thoughts of Apo and the strange feeling washed over him once more. He didn't want to think about the demon, his smile, the joy in their- its eyes whenever it had been around Owen, its love for fishing and how happy it had sounded just an hour ago when it had reunited with Owen. It didn't matter, Owen never really felt anything for the demon, it was just Apo's manipulation, it had to be... but if it wasn't, Owen had simply been guided by his subconscious to learn about the demon so he could kill it. Whatever the explanation was, the two had never been friends.
Owen began to hum as a distraction as the Clearing entrance came into view. It was a song he vaguely remembered his mother singing to him as a child.
"There will come a soldier, who carries a mighty sword..."
***
The javelin collided with Guts, making a satisfying crack and they fell limp. Owen unceremoniously retrieved his weapon from the body and used a rag he had brought down with him to clean the blood off of it. As he did so, the feeling he had felt earlier washed over him again, but he shook it off. Glancing at Guts' body he let out a sigh, their body was far too large to dispose of in an unnoticeable manner. Owen eventually decided that he would leave it down here, maybe use some of its flesh as bait to get what he needed for Rasbi's trap. The thought of his plan for Rasbi caused a sinister smile to form on his face as he began to climb up the rope to the upper level of his home. 
Her family's feeble attempts at creating peace had been what landed him in this hell hole, and he would make sure Rasbi suffered and he would take pleasure in it.
***
Owen sat in the corner of the cave grinning at Rasbi who had recently 'dropped in' ; she let out a cry of pain as the bamboo spikes punctured her body and blood began to leak from the wounds. They looked up, glaring at their soon to be killer and stopped when her red eyes met Owen's orange.
"Ah, nice of you to drop-" Owen paused, realizing how cliché that sounded, "Never mind."
Rasbi silently glared at the human.
"Oh come on, aren't you the least bit curious about all this? About me? About why we're here?" it didn't make sense, why weren't they reacting? "God knows I've been waiting to pick your brain," he continued, "...You're a difficult thing to get a hold of Rasbi."
"If you plan to kill me, just do it already," the demon finally spoke up.
Owen let out a sigh, "Well you're no fun at all, besides, I'm not going to kill you," He went on, explaining how the toxins that coated the bamboo spikes that had impaled Rasbi. Rasbi's angered expression faded to defeat.
"Where have you been?" Owen wondered aloud.
"...Hiding."
"From Me?"
"From anyone," They responded, "All of you, I couldn't be sure which one of you was trying to kill me."
"Oh? So, you knew one of us would, how long for?" interrogated Owen.
"A few years, Something told me I wasn't safe, like there was... a snake in the grass."
"Hm," he responded, "Interesting. But, you didn't know who?"
"Does it matter? I do now," She said darkly, probably mustering what strength she had left to glare at him.
The two continued on back and forth for a while, Owen explaining that they were never really friends, "After all, a butcher doesn't keep his flock safe because he wants to see them die of old age, does he?"
Another pause.
"Do you know why you're here?" Owen asked.
"No... all I remember is I-..."
"Go on, say it," Owen grinned.
"I- I chose to come here," Rasbi finally admitted, and Owen stood up, smiling as he taunted her.
"Yes! You did, didn't you? You did. Isn't that insane?" He continued, "How we're all villainous individuals, and yet you're here... out of choice. Do you know why?" Owen waited for a response before letting out an amused gasp after she didn't respond, "You don't? Demon, you do spoil me."
"You can't get away with this," Rasbi growled in response.
Owen sat back down, a satisfied grin on his face, he continued to ramble on before pausing, pulling out a knife, "May I ask you something?" he didn't wait for a response, "Were I to shove this through your eye, do you believe that would be poetic or self indulgent?" He stood back up, crouching down to Rasbi's level. He heard them murmur something, he leaned in so her mouth was parallel to his ear.
"For the kingdom... and my sister," and before Owen could react he heard the sound of bamboo cracking as she ripped off a spike and shoved it into his shoulder. Owen stumbled backwards as he slowly lost consciousness, however before it all faded that peculiar feeling returned, washing over him as he blacked out.
***
Of course Owen survived the whole ordeal, thanks to that potion he'd been given so long ago, the poison had simply knocked him out and he had managed to make it out scot-free. 
Since then he had decided to be more thorough with his planning, right down to the smallest most minute detail. He had sat on the ledge over the maze, pretending to cry over that... thing he had once called a friend, and it came, Krow had tried to comfort him, offer Owen a few kind words, and he had used this opportunity to strike, he lead it into the maze, pretending it was one final search for Apo, eventually they ended on the ledge Owen had been leading them to. It was an isolated part of the maze, no one would accidentally stumble across them, his other reason was that it led to the reservoir of water and if anything else failed, he could simply shove the demon off the ledge and it would drown. The two had fought, Krow had been sloppy and its combat was mediocre compared to Owen's highly sophisticated training. He had easily won, chopping off an arm and a horn before tossing its dying body into the water.
So why the hell did it come back?
The lava had been rising and the remaining Clearing members had been planning their escape when it came. Barreling into Owen and clawing at him, Owen had instinctually shoved the demon off of him as he scrambled away, clawing his way up the nearest tent and resting at the top as everyone had shouted, confused as to why Krow had attacked him. It eventually escalated in his attempt to shove an old torch through that thing's eye. Afterwards the rest of the Outsiders turned on him, they couldn't see the demons for who they truly were, they were vile, monstrous creatures, and yet they left Owen to die in the cell for simply riding the world of the disease that is the demon race. 
And that brought Owen to where he was now, still gripping the metal bars of his cell, staring at the door Magic had left through as tears streamed down his face. He was alone, Magic hated him, she had left him to die in this god-forsaken maze. The feeling he had been pushing down overpowered his senses as the lava came closer, nibbling at his feet... and finally he could recognize it.
Guilt
Owen regretted everything, why had he killed Apo? Why had he killed all of them, Rasbi and Guts? The Princess and Agarci and every helpless demon? As those thoughts rushed through his mind, the former general was finally enveloped by the heat of the lava as his screams echoed through the cell. There was no bouncing back, Owen would suffer the consequences of his actions and meet the fate of so many before him,a painful, lonely, death.
Credit to Owen and Rasbi for Rasbi's death scene as I basically just transcribed it from Owen's video, dialogue and all-