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Taraji's POV
I stared at the shiny, rose-scented bubbles nearly spilling over the rim of my bathtub, seeing my reflection in them. Vanilla candles lined the rim, the lights were low, and "Saturn" by Sza was flowing from the speakers. I laid my head back and closed my eyes, sinking under the water slowly. It's so quiet down here. Nobody can reach me. Nobody can hurt me. It's just me, the water, and Sza's pretty words that are speaking for me while I feel like I have no voice. I've screamed and screamed, and now I have nothing to say.
Life's better on Saturn Got to break this pattern Of floating away Find something worth saving It's all for the taking I always say
I could stay here all day. I don't feel angry anymore. I don't feel anything. Feeling nothing is the best feeling in the world. My life would be so different if I didn't possess emotions, emotions that I express so strongly and fiercely because I don't know any other way. I know that my peace won't last, but to know that I have it, even if it's just for a little while, means everything. I know that hell is waiting for me outside of this bath tub. I almost kissed Danielle, and she's downstairs cleaning up the mess that I made even after I commanded her not to. I hope that she doesn't feel used and or abused by me and Fantasia. I feel like we sometimes take her for granted, and we just expect her to deal with anything we throw at her. That's a lot for anybody to handle. I don't know why she's still friends with us. We're so complicated and hard to read. I feel like the only people in the world who can understand us is us, but where does that leave Danielle? I don't know why I seek her out so much for comfort when Fantasia is my rock. There has to be a logical explanation, but what if it's too scandalous and painful to face?
I came back up for air when I heard yelling downstairs. The sound of Fantasia's airy, southern belle voice screaming above Danielle was unmistakable. I sighed heavily, reluctantly getting out of the tub. I drained the tub and dried myself off, washing my face really quickly before throwing on a cropped grey sweatshirt and matching shorts. I disconnected my phone from the speaker on the bathroom counter, gripping it in my clutch as I slowly walked downstairs. The scene that I happened upon was both alarming and perplexing. Fantasia looked pissed and Danielle was crying. My heart instantly broke for her. There's no doubt in my mind that she's crying because of Fantasia.
Taraji: What's going on? What's with all the yelling, and why are you crying, Dani?
I looked between the two of them as neither one of them were saying anything. Danielle looked off to the side, wiping her red eyes as she folded her arms across her chest. When I reached out to touch her shoulder, she jerked back from me as if she thought I was going to hurt her. I don't know what has gone down between her and Fantasia, but I wish that I would have come down sooner, because maybe then I could have stopped it.
