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Danielle's POV
After getting Taraji to calm down by talking about her wedding, I let her take a relaxing bubble bath while I cleaned up all the broken dishes in her kitchen. Being alone with just my thoughts to accompany me gave me the chance to reflect on the fact that she was going to kiss me. Even though I didn't give her the chance to, I knew it was going to happen. I don't know how to feel about the fact that she always turns to me in an intimate manner when she's upset. Maybe it's not me she's turning to, but sex in general. She blacks out, wilds out, and then reaches out for physical affection every time she's hurting. It's unsettling and it makes me question our friendship. I know that I'm a sex bomb, but I know that Taraji isn't attracted to me. At least not like that. I don't know how to explain our dynamic. It's like she's more comfortable being completely vulnerable with me than she is Fantasia, and it makes me feel bad for my friend because I don't know if she knows. I would never try to purposefully come between them, but I'm always being pulled into the middle of their messes, and I'm usually being pulled in Taraji's direction. It's...weird and unnerving to say the least. Now I'm left to wonder if I should tell Fantasia about what almost happened. Is there anything to tell if nothing happened? Would I be betraying Taraji by telling Fantasia? Would I be betraying Fantasia by not telling her? Fantasia already feels like I'm closer to Taraji than her, and I don't want to give her even more reason to feel that way. Maybe that's why I jumped in front of that bullet for her, to prove a point. I don't know what I'm saying or what I'm thinking. My mind is a storm of confusion right now. Does Taraji just see me as a substitute for Fantasia? Is that what it is? Is that why she seeks comfort in me when she doesn't want Fantasia around to see her break into pieces? If I asked her all these questions, would she tell me the truth? Would she run from me? It's hard to know, and I'm too afraid to ask. I'm the self-proclaimed number one supporter of Tarasia, so why am I even thinking about this? It feels like Taraji is always putting me in a tough spot, but I can't abandon her. I just wish that I could talk to someone about this, but I don't even know what to say about it. I can't talk to my husband and I can't talk to Fantasia. I could talk to my therapist, but she would only tell me to talk to Taraji about how I'm feeling, and I have no idea how I'm feeling.
I was sweeping the last piece of glass into the dust pan when I heard the doorknob turning and clicking. Fantasia walked in, her eyes scanning every inch of the area. Her eyebrows bunched together in curiosity and confusion when she noticed me. She hugged me, but I could tell by the expression on her face that she was internally questioning the purpose of my presence.
Fantasia: Hi, Dani. What are you doing here? Where's Taraji?
Danielle: She's upstairs taking a bath. I'm assuming you found out what happened?
Fantasia: Yeah, her mom told me. Did Taraji call you?
Danielle: No. I was just coming over to talk about you guy's wedding, and I walked in on her having a breakdown. She still hasn't told me what triggered it, but I know that it has to be bad. Listen, I'm not saying this to hurt you, but I'm not sure if she wants you here right now. She told me not to call you.
Fantasia: I don't care about that right now. I'm not going to abandon my fiancé in her time of need.
Danielle: You don't need to force yourself on her. She's not gonna be receptive if you come at her like that. I think you should respect her wishes.
Fantasia: And I think you should back off, Dani. You're our friend, but Taraji is my woman and I don't need you to tell me how to handle her. I appreciate you for being here to keep her safe, but I can take it from here. You should get back home to your husband your daughter.
Danielle: What does my husband have to do with anything?
Fantasia: I don't know Danielle, you tell me. Why would you only come talk to Taraji if you wanted to talk about OUR wedding that involves us both? Now you're here telling me that I should leave my fiancé's house in her time of need. What's that all about? Do you want her all to yourself?
Danielle: What? You sound ridiculous, Fantasia. I'm trying to be a friend to both of you and give you some fucking advice. I don't even want to entertain the bullshit that you're implying. I've done nothing but support you guys from the beginning, and as a married woman, I take that very seriously. You really think I have feelings for Taraji or something crazy like that?
Fantasia: It sure seems that way. Every time I can't be there for her or she doesn't allow me to be there for her, you're always around her.
Danielle: Because I'm her friend-
Fantasia: I know that she kissed you before.
Danielle: That was months ago and you know that it didn't mean anything!
Fantasia: I don't know shit, Dani! I don't care if it was years ago, it still happened! Now here you are once again. You weren't even going to call me.
Danielle: Because Taraji begged me not to-
Fantasia: It doesn't fucking matter! She's my fiancé, not yours!
Danielle: Lower your damn voice, Fantasia! The last thing Taraji needs is us fighting over something as baseless as this! We disagree a lot, but the one thing we can agree on is our love for Taraji. The only reason why I haven't checked your ass like I want to is because I'm just as much your friend as I am hers, if not more. Do you not see how stupid this is? This isn't the first time you've accused me of trying to break you guys up and I don't like it.
Fantasia: I'm accusing you for a reason. I don't want you at the wedding.
Danielle: What?!
Fantasia: Are you deaf, bitch? I don't want you at our wedding. I don't trust you anymore. You want what I have, and I can't have that.
Danielle: Fantasia, why are you doing this? This doesn't make any sense.
Despite how angry I was and the fact that I just wanted to lash out at her, all I could do was blink back the tears building up in my eyes even though they began to fall anyway. Perhaps this is my karma for not telling Fantasia the entire truth. Even more so, I'm not being completely truthful with myself.
Taraji: What's going on? What's with all the yelling, and why are you crying, Dani?
Fantasia and I both looked towards the stairs to see Taraji walking down them, looking refreshed with a clean face and dressed in a grey lounge set. She looked between the two of us, Fantasia fuming and me crying. As much as I adore and care for them both, I'm starting to wish that I never got involved with them.
This chapter was inspired by @anonymously1CH pointing out the complex dynamic between Taraji and Danielle.
