48. 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘥𝘰 𝘸𝘦 𝘨𝘰 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦?

                                    

                                          
this is a double update! read 47 first!!!
"What's going on inside that head of yours?" Rafe asks, kissing the top of my head. 
After we eventually climbed out of the water we made our way along to the nearest beach. We both realised that it would be sensible to dry off a little before attempting to socialise with strangers. We've been lying on the sand, my head resting on Rafe's chest as he slowly grazes his fingertips up and down my arm. 
I have no complaints about the way we've spent the last hour, pretending that the chaos of what Singh and his men put us through never happened. I'm assuming that they're still looking for us, which I suppose makes it a stupid idea to be lying on this beach, making ourselves sitting ducks. 
But as long as I'm beside Rafe, I know that I'm protected. After what went on when we escaped Singh's house I realised that he would risk everything to protect me. 
"Hey, what are you thinking about?" Rafe repeats, squeezing me closer. 
"You," I smile, gazing up at him. 
"What about me?" He smirks, brushing a loose strand of hair out of my face. 
"Just you," I reply, nestling my head against his chest, "What about you? What are you thinking about?"
"You," He laughs under his breath as I roll over, resting my chin on his chest, "And how lucky I am to get another chance at us."
"I wonder what your family will make of it," I sigh, watching the smile on his face drop, "We don't have to talk about them, if you don't want to."
"It's fine," He assures me as we slowly sit up, Rafe moving me so that I'm sitting in between his legs with my back to his chest, which I think is partly so that I don't see his facial expressions, "We're doing the whole open and honest thing, aren't we?"
"What's it like where you and your family are staying?" I whisper as he runs his hand through my hair, combing my hair out of my face. 
"Quiet," Rafe sighs, taking my hand in his and kissing my knuckles as if to delay the conversation, "Dad's not been well since we arrived, he's in a coma."
"How do you feel about that?" I ask, avoiding the intricacies of Ward's physical health. 
"It's tough, but I've stepped up, the way Dad needs me to," He tells me, "Can I ask you about the island? You didn't talk about it much at Singh's."
"What do you want to know?" I ask, running my fingers up and down his thigh. 
"What did you do? It must have been boring being there for a month," He replies, reminding me how far from his reality Poguelandia is. 
"We survived, we'd hunt, forage, cook, eat, build shit, sleep, repeat," I explain, still wondering whether Kiara has reunited with the Pogues yet. 
"Did you enjoy it?" He asks, and honestly I'm not entirely sure where I stand on that. 
"I didn't hate it," I huff, focusing my gaze on the waves lapping against the sand, "But there were moments where I'd close my eyes and imagine I was at home in my own bed, well I suppose it's not even my bed since my parents kicked me out."
I've barely pondered my parents since we landed on Poguelandia. The last time I saw my father he kicked me out of the house for using drugs and not agreeing to go to rehab. Would they have treated my absence the same way that they treated Maggie's? Have they continued life without me, as though Maggie has always been an only child? As though I never existed?
"You didn't tell me that your parents kicked you out," Rafe replies instantly. 
"It was because of the coke," I sigh, "The fact that I was clean and have been since the overdose didn't mean much to them."