CHAPTER SIXTEEN: ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇs ʙᴜᴛ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʟᴇғᴛ

                                    

                                          
Vegas drowned himself in alcohol, drugs and senseless one night stands at Hum bar. His anger issues worsened, his depression, and even his physical health.
He fucked up, he fucked up so bad and his only beloved ran away for good. Before it was a misunderstanding, now he's good as dead.
If he could only turn back the time, if only he didn't raped Pete. 
His obsession, his love - was the poison that intoxicated him.
Vegas wakes up, sweating and screaming as Pete's cries for help and mercy echoes in the four corners of the wall. 
He sees blood, he sees people snicker at him and all the people he's killed came back as the  demons, hunting his thoughts.
It was not their words or how horrible their bodies looked that made Vegas lose himself, it was Pete.
Pete hated him and pushed him away. 
Pete was scared, and everytime he tries to reach out, he falls into a hole, he keeps asking for help, he keeps crying out to Pete.
To save him...
To forgive him...
Pete, I'm sorry!
The same cycle continues, the same dream hunts him. 
This is my karma. 
This is what I deserve.
This is my karma. 
This is what I deserve.
This is my karma. 
This is what I deserve.
This is my karma. 
This is what I deserve.
This is my karma. 
This is what I deserve.
"FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! ARGHHHHHH!", he smashes his head into the bathroom mirror until cracks formed, smashing into tiny pieces.
He picks them up and wounds himself.
"RED. BLOOD. RED. BLOOD......"
"PETE.... PETE BLEEDING... PETE HURT...", he murmurs to himself and sees Pete in the shattered glass.
He then remembers Pete. 
Pete whose always annoyed at him but smiling at others.
Pete who loves curry.
Pete who cuddles tightly and gives him kisses.
Pete who always understands him.
Is his heart shattering the same way? 
Is Pete missing him?
Does he miss his scent?
Because Vegas misses everything about Pete, Vegas misses who he was when he was with his precious boyfriend.
Pete was the only one who shared his pain and never looked at him as an inferior being, Pete loved him and his flaws...
Vegas stares at his hands, caresses them as Pete once did. 
Pete loved me, and I harmed him with my hands.
He laughed, he laughed so loudly with his tears falling.
I don't understand me! Why?! 
Pete understand me! 
He hid under his bed and cried and he slowly reaches for the pocket knife.