@gabbiemarshallswsife
"Are you sure you want this?" Jan (Robert) asked me for the hundredth time, "We love having you here."
"I'm sure, you've not played me since my red card three weeks ago, because I'm 'too violent for the game' so I'm going to move somewhere that would actually give me time and let me play. This isn't the club for me right now."
"Look why don't you think about it for the rest of the sea-"
"No." I interrupted, "I'm not getting anywhere here, you don't let me play and half the team is still giving me the side eye because of my red card nearly a month ago, I need a fresh start."
"It was a pleasure having you here."
"It was (definitely not) a pleasure being here."
With that I got up and left the room, feeling nervous but excited. Nervous for the new chapter and somehow telling Celin that I'm going to be leaving, not just the club but England.
I'll only be around an hour or two plane ride but it's still going to be like that for months at a time.
After a couple minutes I found Celin hanging around nearby, she waited for me as she knows my contract was running out and wanted to be the first to know what happened.
I think Biz thought that I would renew, little does she know.
"Hey Cel."
"Hey babe, what's wrong? You look sad or more worried to be honest." She laughed a little obviously thinking I was overreacting about being 'worried.' Just then it began raining but I stayed where I was, maybe rain helps with the nerves?
"Um... about the contract." I paused and after no longer than a second of me not talking Celin began.
"You took a new deal right?" She asked, she definitely looked more worried on her side now. I stayed quiet, not sure what to say. I don't want to upset her but it's been done, my agent called Barcelona and I will be moving to Spain, I can't stay here now.
"Your leaving aren't you."
"I got an amazing deal in Barcelona, I get to play for one of the best teams in the world and they offered me a 4 year deal, it was a no brainer. I'm not happy here, with the play time anyway and we can still talk all the time it won't seem like I left." I rambled on but this time it was Bizet's turn to be the quiet one.
With nothing else said she turned and walked away, getting in the car we both came in and driving away leaving me in the hammering down rain, alone. I sighed before turning my gaze down to the floor and walking in the same direction she went just moments ago.
What I didn't get to tell her was that I'm leaving tomorrow. This is probably the last conversation we will have before then, maybe we'll get one more if we are lucky but lucks never on my side is it.
I walked for what seemed like hours in the rain to get home which in reality was twenty minutes before unlocking the door and walking in soaking wet. I couldn't see Celin anywhere so I walked upstairs and packed some of my stuff to take to Barça, the one thing you can't disagree with is that over there the weathers nice.
Soon Celin did come home though and then almost immediately arguments sparked.
She was staying stuff such as 'I don't get why you have to leave, just stay here or you might as well retire.'
I know Cel doesn't mean what she's saying but it still hurts I guess, because I do love her, honestly I do.
"Look (Y/n/n), long distance doesn't last, I can't do it. If you walk out that door and got to Barcelona then we're done." She said, her Norwegian accent becoming stronger and stronger as she got more angry and frustrated.
"I'm sorry. This is my career and its what I need to do.." She could barely hear me, I practically whispered not wanting to cause more upset. Then I slowly turned around and walked out the door, hoping she would stop me but she never did.
She never came. We never meant anything...
-time skip-
I just got off the plane and I'm in the sunny Barcelona, I headed straight to the grounds, keeping my stuff in the rented car I have for now. Once I got there I was quickly whisked away into the meeting room as such, more like Jonatan's office and I signed the contract.
The contract was signed but it was also the one that ended my relationship.
I know I shouldn't feel guilty but apart of me does and I hate it. The Pros casualty outweighed the cons, I think at least.
Pros: Better team, Spanish clubs mates as well as national teammates, more game time, less worrying about if I would ever play again.
Cons: Leaving Celin.
See what I mean, the con is pretty hefty but the pros are all round better I guess, for the long run anyway. Damn it! Who am I kidding? I miss Cel but I can't miss her anymore.
We're over. We're done.
It's time for a new chapter in my life.
One without her in it.
