My mind... my resolution...

                                    

                                          
I think I spend the whole day with the rat. I don't really know what he expected of me but the thing he said made all sense and besides that... I was sure that I maybe wouldn't have ended up being a villain if not for actually getting caught into everything. My life was a mess the moment everyone abandoned me. There was literally nothing I could have done and there was no support. I begged and I cried... I screamed and I pleaded but no one really hurt my plea nor did anyone react. My skin was covered in bruises as well as cuts and burns. No one cared about that at all. 
Of course I remember my past and how much I struggled. The LOV seemed like a revelations to me. They offered me help, they gave me a place and they made me feel as if I was one of them at the beginning but soon I realized how foolish I was. The kidness as just an act at the beginning to get into their group and the moment there was no escape from them, they all started treating me like a slave.
Perhapse things could have been different if I had someone who actually would have cared and guided me?
Perhapse if I had a different home or if people cared enough to see what I was going through?
Maybe if Bakugo wouldn't have acted like a dick but instead would have been a good friend... maybe things would have been differently.
There were soo many maybes. 
No matter how I looked it... there were a million things that could have been differently but it was me who decided to go the villainous path in the end. The anger I felt back then was enough to shacke a whole city. If not even the universe itself. I was sad, I wasn angry and most importantly I was alone. 
I knew what it meant to be alone and this was something I didn't wish for anyone at all. Yes, I was a villain but at the same time I was still a human. People would describe me as bein cruel and calculative as well as a psychopath but the thing is... I didn't had another chance to act differently. If anyone would have been with the LOV like I was, then they would know that acting kind or just showing mercy would have led to my death! They have no mercy and if I would be a hindrance then that would mean that they would have to get rid of me. 
Fear, anxiety, sadness, loneliness .... these were the emotions I had all the time while being with the LOV to the point I couldn't stand it anymore at all. At that point I thought that death would be better suited for me since I couldn't see any way out. 
Was I the only person with such problems?
No... I don't think like that.
I never think that I am the only person with problems.... the world was soo big, why should I be the only person having problems? There were probably soo many people out there who can relate to all my pain and everything but that thought never actually got through me.
When Nezu did say that I should be the very first one going through this so called rehabilitation system... I started to think in a different way.
Yes I was alone all my life... and I never got any help... 
Yes... people will act just like myself when it came to being forced in this shit... but what if they get the choice?
What if people like me have a different way?
What if Nezu already had a list of people cause that would definitely be the case?
Then... would my sacrifice, my shitty life not be worth something?
I mean I knew what would happen when I get out of UA and everything but... then again... maybe I was wrong? Maybe the world really was about to change when I get out of here and maybe villains could be heroes once again... I don't know if this made sense nor did I care much about it when I agreed to what Nezu said.
All I could think about was.... this time... this time my life has finally something to offer for someone else. My life was shit and it was not about to change at all.... BUT I could at least finish UA and then off myself somewhere, where no one could actually find me. This way..... my death wouldn't be meaningless and my life had a purpose... maybe I could repent for my sins this way.
At least... my mind came up with all this and it made sense to me.