fade into you

                                    

                                          
Ed winces as Lorraine presses rubbing alcohol against his wounds. 'I know, hon. I don't want it to get infected.' Her cold hands cup Ed's face. He had been back for a week now, which Lorraine  was happy about. But she could tell that something was bothering him. She already how the case was impacting her husband negatively, but now she was seeing the side effects in person. 
Ed blinks away the tears forming in his eyes, alarming Lorraine. 'Hon, what's wrong?' 
'It's nothing.' He tries, but her eyes give him a 'don't lie to me' look. He sighs sadly as Lorraine's fingers caress his wrist softly in an effort of encouragement. The problem is, he didn't know what was wrong.
He just knew everything in his mind was frantic and in relay mode. He couldn't go to sleep without checking the pulse of Judy as she slept, and making sure that Lorraine's soft snores were heard and the baby's kicks were felt. It took him three hours the day prior to go to sleep because he felt as though something was going to happen and he was going to be gone again, unable to help his family once again. 
Obviously, Ed knows there was nothing he could have done to stop his son from dying,but why does he have this guilt after almost a decade? Not to mention, he almost lost his unborn child and was unable to help a case once again. 
'Are you and the baby okay after everything that happened?'  He asks, avoiding her eyes. 'She's doing a lot better in there. The blood just wasn't pumping properly, we're okay. I promise.' Lorraine's thumb rubs over her swollen belly. 'I'm so sorry I left you. It was stupid, I shouldn't have taken the case.' His eyes finally meet hers, a tear glistening in them.
'It  just... it feels like I'm never here for you when you need it. When you locked yourself up, I didn't open the door for three days. And when you...' his words caught him, 
 'When that happened I wasn't home for at least another hour. And then I let you go unconscious with me hours away unable to help. Judy never sees me because I'm so busy, and whenever that spirit got a hold of her I had to just watch her suffer. I'm tired of not being here for you and our family. ' His voice is angry. Not with her, but with himself.  
It sounded like the speech he had given her months after he had returned from war. She frowns, knowing that Ed's mindset is never going to change when it comes to him leaving Lorraine for any circumstances.
'You have to stop blaming yourself. All these things that happened were out of our control. They just happened at the wrong time and place.' Ed's eyes finally meet her as she talked .
'God guided us through all of that to bring us Judy and this baby. Don't focus on what you can't fix, hon.'
A beat of silence passes before Lorraine pulls Ed in for a tight hug.
'Let's take our minds and go shopping. We have no outfits for baby bug and nothing in her nursery!' Lorraine yanks her husband's hand in excitement.
                        ______________
'When we go inside we should worry about the essentials first.' Lorraine states, but her daughter had other plans. 
Judy could hardly contain her excitement as they stepped into the baby store. Her eyes widened at the sight of rows upon rows of adorable baby items. She grabbed Lorraine's hand and practically dragged her towards the section with the tiny dresses. 'Mom, look at these!' she exclaimed, holding up a frilly dress with little bows. 'Thats pretty, Jude.'Lorraine smiled, knowing how thrilled Judy was about having a baby sister.
Ed chuckled and joined in on the fun, picking up a soft blanket with cute animal prints. 'This will keep her warm and cozy, we can get her name embroidered on it when we pick a name' he said,  watching her close her eyes as she imagined holding her daughter in the soft blanket. 'It's perfect.' She smiles softly. 
The three of them walked hand in hand through the aisles of the baby store, marveling at all the pink and pastel items. Ed couldn't help but smile as he imagined his little girl in the adorable dresses and tiny shoes. 
Judy's excitement was contagious, and soon they were all giggling and oohing over the tiny shoes, imagining how cute they would look on baby Warren's tiny feet.
Ed and Lorraine take a moment to examine Judy, time had passed by so quickly. They remember when they were shopping for her. The rush of being naive new parents as they tried to make sure they knew everything before they had her. But no parenting book could prepare them for watching her grow up.
Now their here shopping for another baby that they'd never anticipate on having with their miracle daughter.  Their lives couldn't be more blessed.
                   _______
Lorraine sits in the dimmed light of her bedroom, enjoying the silence after such a tiring day. She smiles at her bump, lovingly caressing it
 'You know, baby, today was such a special day,' she speaks quietly, 'Mommy had so much fun picking out all these adorable things for you today. Daddy didn't really get me and sissy's vision, but that's okay. We're more fashionable than him anyways, I suppose.' She giggles at the faint flutters around her hand. 
'Anyways, silly girl, I can't wait to see you wearing those tiny onesies and snuggling up in those soft blankets. It's all for you, my precious baby. You're already so loved, I want you to know that. Go to sleep in there, and don't cause me to much trouble." Ed stands by the doorframe of their bathroom, with a gentle smile.  
'Who says I don't have a fashion sense? Don't fill her up with those lies.' He teases, rubbing his fingers over her stomach softly. 'Goodnight, my fashionista.' She teases, kissing him. 'Goodnight, baby.' He pulls her closer to him, kissing her back. 'And goodnight, princess.' He placed a peck on her stomach.
Their lives were changing, but it was a change that they wanted and would be able to keep up with.
            _____________________
A/N:
Hi!! Sorry this was a yap session... As I warned y'all, there will be no plot and mostly just fluff for a while😭 and I know I was supposed to update days ago, but I was so exhausted and I got caught up in school. But hopefully you guys enjoyed this!! I do infact have baby Warren's name picked out , you'll just need to read it to see:)) anyways thanks for the patience you've all had with me!!! 
Love ya!
-V
Title based: fade into you- mazzy star
Btw that was another one of the songs that got removed on TikTok ☹️